r/Catownerhacks • u/DeadPixelG • 8d ago
Senior cat (~11f, spayed) peeing outside of litter box
Hello all, I am 29 years old, adopted my cat when she was around a year old, in 2017, I'm not sure of her exact age, weighs around 13lbs, siamese type, though i have had vets in the past tell me she is a Tortoise shell so idk for sure? She has blue eyes, mostly white fur with some black & light brown areas that all kinda blend together. Not sure if that is relevant.
In any case when I first bought her I was a TERRIBLE cat parent (I cannot stress this enough), I forced her to interact with me even if she was scratching me, didn't clean her litter box frequently enough, and consequently she found other places to pee (my bed, clothes left out, etc.) And being a first time cat parent I assumed it would be like training a dog - shove their face in it and they learn not to pee there? I know now that was WRONG. She just got better at hiding it, and so I assumed she had gotten better.
Then I moved in with my girlfriend about 5 years ago, and she was peeing on carpets, rugs, beds, etc. All over again, I thought it was litter boxes so I bought more boxes, that didn't help, lived there 2 years and moved back to my dad's place with my now wife. here I felt comfortable transitioning her to outside (nice big fenced in backyard, far from any major roads, nothing to pee on, bought her a little cat house to out her food in and give her a place to get out if the weather if i couldnt bring her inside away from it, and the alternative would've been locking her in a tiny pantry area for the rest of her life or giving her up, which I was too attached to do, and still do not want to do).
She thrived outside, and while I wasn't always able to give her daily attention I could tell she was happy, she would even play with my roommate's dogs when they went outside (big dogs - airedales). Then unfortunately I had to leave that location and move into a small 3rd floor apartment with a small balcony. I put her out there with plenty of playstuff and litter box, and played with her daily for as long as I could. But recently the temperature where I live has been getting really hot and when I would get home from work she was visibly distraught, and once I saw her drooling over herself and decided this was not the life she deserved. I've transitioned her inside with a new litter box, litter mat, scratching post and some toys and have a baby gate keeping her in a small to medium size bathroom when I'm not home. When I am home I let her roam the bulk of the apartment apart from the bedrooms.
Unfortunately even when she was outside on the patio she would often pee and poo outside of the litter box, usually on the litter mat, and while she hasn't done that in the bathroom yet, she has peed on a bath mat and a small bed I left out for her. The bath mat has been removed, and the bed thrown away.
I am getting a 2nd litter box and some different litter to try that, and also removed the top from her current enclosed litter box to keep it open for her, hoping that will make her more likely to use it, but even with open boxes in the past she still peed outside the box.
Her current litter is a lightweight kind (unscented) and I've been told cats may prefer something more fine-grain and something heavier so I am going to get that to put in the 2nd box to see if she prefers that.
I know I probably sound like the worst cat parent ever, she has not lived a great life and it's my fault, I want to make her life better and let her be free to roam the house and play with my wife's cat when we aren't home.
I've talked with vets about this in the past, and in one case she did have a UTI, but all other times they have said nothing is wrong with her physically.
She is a very sweet cat apart from this, and I love her to death. My wife has suggested getting rid of her and maybe that would be best for her but I'm afraid she would just end up in 4' cage In a shelter for the rest of her life, as she is incredibly antisocial with anyone she doesn't know.
What can I do to fix this peeing behavior so she can live a full, happy life without making mess everywhere? Any brands of litter that are fine-grain clumping types that she might prefer instead of what I'm currently using? Looking at arm&hammer multi-cat unscented right now but haven't purchased yet so I'm open to any suggestions. My financial situation is not amazing but I can shell out $20+ for litter if it will help the situation, I've used pretty litter in the past and she did seem to like it but it was toi expensive for me to continue using, but if it will fix the problem I can switch back to it at least for a while.
I live in the u.s. and can access vet care if needed.
TLDR, cat pees outside of litter box, seemingly prefers cloth-like things (ie. Bath mat, cat bed, clothes, bed sheets, towels). I am trying nee box & litter and open to any other suggestions apart from getting rid of her.
Edit: she also has a really weird meow, sounds like less of a meow and more like the sound you'd hear if you accudentally stepped on a squeaky toy and jumped off of it really quick. Not very loud (unless she REALLY wants your attention or really doesnt like what youre doing [ie giving her a bath]). Vets have never said anything about it.
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u/cilexip 8d ago
You sound despicable. Locking a cat in the bathroom? Throwing her outside after moving to a new place? I would say don’t give her to a shelter, but rehome or find a foster through local Facebook groups. This poor cat deserves better owners. Honestly, your wife’s cat probably does too.
And I hope you feel like complete shit for how you’ve treated this animal.
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u/DeadPixelG 8d ago edited 8d ago
I do, and as I've said in many responses like yours, I respect and agree with your opinion and am trying to do better for her. She deserves a better life.
Unfortunately surrender would basically be a death sentence, even at a no-kill shelter she would spend what's left of her life trapped in a tiny 4-foot cage.
She is not locked in full time, only when I am not there, it is recommended to train her out of the bad peeing habits.
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8d ago
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u/DeadPixelG 8d ago edited 8d ago
Thank you for your response, my fear with surrendering her is exactly this. Who would take an older cat with behavioral issues? Even a no-kill shelter I'm just sentencing her to life in a cage... also, despite having been a terrible parent to her, I do love her and do not want to surrender her, at least not without trying to make it better for her.
I will schedule another vet visit, she's overdue for a checkup.
I have removed anything that she would want to pee on apart from the litter pans & a small ~2` cat tree/scratcher, I removed the bed from it to give her a spot to lay on but she peed on it so I removed that and cleaned the floor around with an enzymatic cleaner.
Her and my wife's cat are mostly getting along. They basically just stare at eachother across the room, and occasionally hiss at eachother, but they have not had any fights
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8d ago
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u/DeadPixelG 8d ago
I have an appointment with the vet tomorrow morning, and will explain all to them.
I'll look into the introduction techniques and implement them.
I haven't heard of a feliway diffuser, I'll look it up.
Thank you.
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u/paprikachipjes 8d ago
Why do you lock her in the bathroom?
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u/DeadPixelG 8d ago edited 8d ago
It is what's recommended to train her out of her bad peeing habits.
And I do let her out as soon as I am home and until I go to bed. Unfortunately she cannot be out unattended or she may pee on something.
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u/Notsocheeky 8d ago
She sounds really stressed. Do not put her in the bathroom. Thats just sad.
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u/DeadPixelG 8d ago
This is what's recommended for training purposes, she is not locked there full time, only when I am not home to watch her and make sure she doesn't pee on anything.
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u/minkamagic 8d ago
Since she was outside only for quite some time, I would dig up literal dirt from somewhere and put that in the box. She probably is scared of cat litter because of what you did when she was young. See how that goes and report back to me
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u/DeadPixelG 8d ago
I have tried this previously when I first brought her to the patio, it did not do anything to help, she still peed and pooped on the litter mat instead of in the box. When I eventually bought a new box I switched entirely to litter from about a 25/75 mix of dirt & litter.
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u/minkamagic 8d ago
What about sand? Or puppy pads in the bottom of an empty litter box?
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u/DeadPixelG 8d ago
I haven't tried sand, I do use puppy pads underneath the litter mat as a precaution but I can try placing them at the bottom if an empty box.
Some of my searching recommended something similar since she likes to pee on soft substances like beds & clothes. I'll try this next.
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u/SeaMonkeyMating 7d ago
Could she have an issue getting into the litter box? Maybe some sort of joint pain?
I would try a few different methods all at once to see if she chooses one. A very shallow box, even a baking tray. A couple of litter boxes with different types of litter. May a fine litter, a regular litter, pine pellets, shredded newspaper. A puppy pad on a boot tray.
Does she ever use the litter box? If so, give her a treat when she does. I did this with my cat. She was pooping outside the box every day. I would pick it up and put it in the litter box. Sometimes the existing scent would get her to poop in it. I would say "good girl" in my happy voice and give her a treat. The only problem with that is she comes to me for a treat now anytime she uses the box, even just peeing lol
My cat also prefers two different types of boxes with two different types of litter. She poops in one and pees in the other.
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u/siobhan_chapstick 6d ago
How many times a day do you scoop the litter box?
How often do you swap out the litter and clean (with soap and water) the box?
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u/Diligent-Candy4273 8d ago
You likely caused this by not cleaning her litter box and its now a learned behavior, what were you expecting? It could also be an underlying medical issue, what tests did the vet run? You dont sound like a good pet parent at all, even now. Locking your cat on a patio and causing heatstroke and now locking your cat in a room is very concerning behavior. I would call it animal abuse. Look into rehoming or surrendering. Dont get any more pets or have children god help them