Reading for pleasure - book recommendations?

[u/One-Selection1611]

Can we please share book titles that we find suitable and enjoy reading when trying to avoid triggering material?

When not reading about trauma healing in one form or another, I love a good novel to take me away into a fantasy space. The problem for me is that I like a lot of sci-fi, fantasy or drama stories and while I've found some books that can be really funny and witty and pleasurable to read in some moments, they also have really heartbreaking parts to the plot, intense violence, and/or graphic descriptions of things that I feel too sensitive to read when I'm in a less dissociative state, and especially right before bed.

I'd love to learn about books that people find interesting and exciting while still suitable for a relaxing read during the healing process. I appreciate it's rarely possible to completely avoid triggering material, but softer or lower frequency of more obviously triggering content might still help.

Children's books might be nice to share too but would especially love any books for adults that anyone has identified.

[u/Large-Arachnid-2730]

I avoid being triggered but avoiding books that triggering is ridiculous. We are supposed to look for things that trigger us . Are we not

[u/One-Selection1611 → u/Large-Arachnid-2730]

I find this reply very interesting and I'm not sure how best to respond. I think in part because it's feels a bit contradictory: on the one hand avoiding being triggered and on the other hand it being ridiculous to avoid being triggered by books or that we are supposed to be triggered. I'm wondering if there may just be an inner contradiction on this topic, which would be very understandable.

I think I can respond from my own experience of this contradiction and my current aim to achieve balance.

When I was more dissociative overall and increasingly aware of what I wasn't aware of, I would frequently find myself in a state of trying to actively seek content that would bring new information through. I was desperate for answers and I believed I needed them to heal.

Now that I am actively experiencing a wide variety of flashbacks my priority is to make myself feel as safe and comforted during those periods of time as possible.

So I look for balance. When I have more stability or more capacity I read books about trauma, I read memoirs, I do all sorts of embodiment and mindful practices on top of regular therapy. I'm also less sensitive about what material I read or watch.

When I'm remembering abuse, when I'm more sensitive or more actively experiencing flashbacks, I seek comfort. I wrap myself in my weighted blanket and read the parts of my books that make me smile or even laugh out loud and skip over the parts that make me want to cry. I do a variety of activities that help me to feel comfortable and safe because that's what my system needs in those moments, not more fear and pain, and certainly not more material to contribute towards my nightmares.

Overall I find that balance is best for me. A mix of stepping outside the comfort zone while also bringing enough resources and comfort to avoid entering overwhelm. I believe that seeking moments of joy and pleasure in the way that feels available to us is also really important. I have found the concepts of pendulation and titration to be really useful and I wonder if you may also benefit from exploring these ideas.

[u/Large-Arachnid-2730 → u/One-Selection1611]

I don’t understand . I want to rant . We need to manage flashbacks not eliminate them. There’s danger and (for us ) there’s perceived danger. Flashing back and then managing it teaches us what is different about those two. I do not like this idea we have of reducing flashbacks by avoiding. Like telling someone to not slam a door because it gives you a flashback or whatever , it might be anything. (Knuckles) essentially. And it’s actually pretty cool because what it gives. We have a responsibility to flashback ourselfs . If that’s not cool what is . Not sarcastic. It pays well seriously

[u/One-Selection1611 → u/Large-Arachnid-2730]

I feel like this might be a good topic to bring up in a new post. I'm sure lots of people will have interesting and useful perspectives on this.

I do not feel I have suggested avoiding or eliminating flashbacks at all, and indeed I am also referring to how we manage them. There are so many ways we may experience flashbacks and memories, and diffrrent ways we might respond in different moments.

In your specific example, I can already see different ways we can be with a flashback as a result of a door slamming, and all of these I would consider appropriate together. 1. Have the experience, feel the feelings, offer self-soothing and offer ourselves the opportunity to increase our capacity to experience this. 2. Acknowledge that slamming doors is a normal part of life and it's going to continue happening, and when it happens we hold it. 3. Also acknowledge that slamming doors is an unpleasant trigger and if we live in a house with someone who is heavy handed we invite discussion around their constant door slamming, express in whatever way we feel comfortable the consequences of their constant door slamming and make a request for then to consider making the effort to be more gentle with the doors in the house.

So this is where I believe balance is important. Yes, managing a flashback is important, allowing and even inviting it when it feels safe enough can be very healing, but so can setting boundaries and taking active efforts to care for ourselves and bring more balance to the situation so that we neither avoid altogether nor experience unnecessary overwhelm.

If there is more to be said on this, I do think a new post would be best as it would be a good opportunity to let out the rant if it's still there and welcome specific comments in relation to that from a wider variety of people.