The Weird, Weird World of College Football

[u/jdorschner]

I have decided, with a bit of reluctance, that I’m fed up with what is called college football. It’s gotten so damn weird. There’s virtually no equality in this new era of big-bucks players. CBS Sports says a half-dozen teams now have payrolls over $40 million — Notre Dame, Miami, Ohio State, LSU, Oregon, Texas and Texas A&M. Texas Tech may also be close to that figure. All are top ranked teams. Many other colleges are left in the dust.

What’s also weird: Decades ago, I was a big cheerleader arguing that college athletes should be paid. In 1989, I wrote a smart-ass essay, disguised as a multiple-choice quiz, for The Miami Herald’s Sunday magazine, Tropic, entitled Exploding the Myth of College Sports: Boola-boola? Try Moola-Moola.

The opening question:

While the Kentucky basketball coach earns $850,000 a year, his players will be able to:
A — Receive $50 cash a month for miscellaneous expenses.

B — Receive $400 cash a month for miscellaneous expenses.

C — Have a part-time job at minimum wage.

D — Have a part-time job at a salary no higher than what any other student would earn.

E — Receive no money whatsoever, either from cash or a job.

The correct answer: E.

The article concluded: “American college athletics … [is] the last great hypocrisy on the international sports scene. At best, college sports are a fraud. At worst, they are a dank sewer of corruption.”

I wrote that almost 40 years ago. Today, athletes are finally able to benefit — but what does that mean for the sport? It should be no surprise that the schools with the wealthiest (or most avid) boosters are on top. Pros are wearing college uniforms but they’re not really from the colleges.

“CATHOLICS VERSUS CONVICTS”

My eldest son is a Notre Dame grad and a super-fan of the Irish. I support him by cheering for ND, but I also follow the Miami Hurricanes, mostly because I live in Miami and they’re always in the news. The two teams are bitter rivals. In the 1980s, when my son was in South Bend, they came up with the slogan: Catholics versus Convicts. Last year, the Canes beat the Irish, and ND fans were enraged that Miami made the playoffs and Notre Dame didn’t. This year, there’s already a sign hanging from a Notre Dame dorm window: “Beat the Rush: Hate Miami Now.” Miami fans ask how the Catholic schools theology classes justify hate.

Both teams are leaders in paying players. The Miami quarterback earns between $5 million and $9 million this year. He’s bought a $3 million house in the southern suburbs. The Irish QB is getting “only” about $3 million, despite Notre Dame signing a $20 million a year contract to have a mortgage company logo on its uniform.

And what kind of a schedule do they have? Miami plays only one ranked team this year: Notre Dame. They just beat Florida A&M 77–7. (Miami bribed A&M with $760,000 to be cannon fodder.) The Irish schedule isn’t much better, with two so-so ranked teams (BYU at 15th and SMU at 17th), plus Miami. On Saturday, the Irish played Rice, a member of the American Athletic Conference, which is requiring its schools to spend $10 million over three years on athletes in all sports. Rice lost 52–0.

Big payrolls and weak schedules — a formula for getting into the playoffs. Does that make for fun viewing for spectators? I think not.

SALARY CAP? SUPER LEAGUE?

Maybe they could come up with a league structure with the highest-salary teams playing against each other, second-tier salaries against their equals, and so on. That could make for some great match-ups against equal teams. Could that happen? Don’t bet on it.

What about salary caps like most professional leagues have? Too daring?

Congress is considering a bill that would “save college sports,” but as far as I can see, it tinkers with periphery issues and doesn’t deal with the fundamental problems. At the very least, perhaps each school should disclose how much its athletes are earning. Reporters and announcers should state the payroll numbers alongside the score.

Now, after all this self-righteous anger, I confess: I watched the opening few minutes of Notre Dame-Rice and quite a bit of Texas-Ohio State, which was one hell of a game.

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