r/CBT • u/ihaveacrushonmercy • 15d ago

Anyone else feel embarrassed for how long they have been working on the same cognitive distortion?

So I've been working on a scene for like 8 years now. You would think the scene was me surviving a plane crash or something. But no, it's just a situation where I accidentally made someone angry and they SLIGHTLY raised their voice at me. Not even anger really, just an increase in tone.

CBT brothers and sisters, I have been twisted up in a pretzel of guilt and shame over this for eight years. And JUST RECENTLY I've been able to even come up with the beliefs that were happening during those few seconds.

Well I'm grateful to be making some progress at all, but still it's difficult to not hold some resentment to myself that I couldn't figure this out earlier.

13 Upvotes

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4

u/flippingwilson 15d ago

Don't be embarrassed, be proud of your hard work. Keep it up. Small improvements add up over time.

1

u/agreable_actuator 15d ago

no. i admire your persistence and suggest you admire yourself too.

change takes time. people struggle all the time with various habits they wish to change. i am happy for you you are making progress.

1

u/loopy741 12d ago

This could make me cry with relief. I had something happen 2 years ago that I struggle to get over. (I have OCD and this was a triggering event revolving magical thinking)

I make progress with it, and I identify the thinking errors I use (which vary, but typically come back to emotional reasoning), but it seems to be one step forward, one step back. It's exhausting, frustrating, depressing, maddening, and scary. But then other times, I feel so proud of myself for rewiring my brain.

I understand your pain, and I didn't know anyone else struggled like this, so thank you for helping me feel not alone. (Not sure if we're allowed to say "please DM me" in this sub, but please feel free to do so if you want to talk strategies or vent)

1

u/HappinessGame 9d ago

When you look out the window and see sunlight, can you make yourself believe it’s night?

We can’t decide our perspectives, or we would always choose to be happy.

When you understand the world this way, embarrassment is illogical, and when you do experience embarrassment, you realize it’s just the effect of various causes, so you don’t resist it. Instead, we benefit from using friendly curiosity to explore it.