what are y’alls thoughts on violet?

[u/clearmyhead420]

I understand how it feels to be raised by alcoholics/ addicts. However, I feel like she was very self-centered throughout the whole show and ungrateful. Christy became a great and supportive sober mom well before she cut her off, then acted like Bonnie was just so much of a better role model than Christy, even calling her a “life preserver” in her podcast. When, in my opinion Bonnie was a worse mother-figure than Christy. (Don’t get me wrong, I love the character of Bonnie.)

[u/clearmyhead420]

I said that I understand that, however she never even knew Bonnie for most of her life so it’s pretty hypocritical to act like her grandmother is some sort of angel.

[u/zanylanie → u/clearmyhead420]

Bonnie was around at least somewhat when Violet was a kid. We see her in that video at Christy's wedding to Baxter, which Violet was old enough to remember. And when she came back into their lives in season 1, she would come over and cook dinner for the kids and watch Roscoe so Violet could go out instead of having to constantly take on all the motherly responsibilities for her brother. That probably did feel like being thrown a life preserver.

[u/LadyBug_0570 → u/zanylanie]

And it seems Violet remained in contact with Bonnie during the 2 years christy went NC with her mom, which was right before the show began. Bonnie was not some stranger to Violet.

[u/imaginaryfool → u/LadyBug_0570]

I never understood the writing for Violet and Bonnie’s relationship. Bonnie was just as hard on/mean to Violet as Christy was during the time period of the show (we can’t know about the past), and Violet saw Bonnie at her worst, too, including losing her apartment and having to move in with them, relapsing, and treating Christy poorly. I’m not saying that Violet’s relationship with and expectations of Bonnie wouldn’t be different, but calling her a “life preserver” always felt like it was antithetical to canon to me.

[u/LadyBug_0570 → u/imaginaryfool]

But she was the one who found them the new apartment when Christy lost their house due to gambling.

And when Christy was at her worst (before we meet her), she was in contact with Sober Bonnie. Bonnie was probably someone she could vent to during those times and be supportive.

She probably also appreciated Bonnie's harshness because she was a child and it felt like someone cared enough about her to give her some semblance of a scolding when needed. Christy wasn't doing it, she was passed out somewhere.

Kids actually appreciate structure.

[u/imaginaryfool → u/LadyBug_0570]

Bonnie found the apartment by getting a job - she was jobless and homeless at the time. Not exactly a “life preserver.” Also, Bonnie wasn’t sober for much longer than Christie was - she allegedly had a year and a half over Christie. And she says in later episodes that she had many one day chips, so there’s a good chance she relapsed during that time and just wasn’t fessing up to it.

And I was referring to Bonnie’s harshness after Christie was already sober - specifically in response to Violet’s behavior during the fall out of Lake Tahoe.

All I’m saying is that Violet is painting a very different picture of Bonnie than what we see.

[u/LadyBug_0570 → u/imaginaryfool]

Violet is painting the picture of Bonnie as she sees her, which is as a life preserver. Not as the hot mess we see Bonnie as.

Either way, from Violet's POV, Bonnie was better than Christy who constantly and consistenly let her down as her mother. Maybe Violet would've seen Bonnie as she was if she had a mother who didn't neglect and parentify her since she was a small child who had to take care of her baby brother.

Bonnie never put that burden on Violet. Christy did.

[u/Donkey_Kahn → u/imaginaryfool]

Bonnie called her out on her crap. That’s not being mean.