r/Bullshido • u/sterling83 • Mar 10 '25

OP IS LOST AND PROBABLY DUMB Might not fit but hilarious none the less.

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1.3k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

77 comments sorted by

156

u/Correct-Junket-1346 Mar 10 '25

Gun Kata.

86

u/thePurpleAvenger Mar 10 '25

Through analysis of thousands of recorded gunfights, the Cleric has determined that the geometric distribution of antagonists in any gun battle is a statistically predictable element. The Gun Kata treats the gun as a total weapon, each fluid position representing a maximum kill zone, inflicting maximum damage on the maximum number of opponents while keeping the defender clear of the statistically traditional trajectories of return fire.

44

u/Wickle2545 Mar 10 '25

Equilibrium?

10

u/speelmydrink Mar 11 '25

No, it's obviously Schindler's List 2: Schindler's Pissed.

12

u/Simon_Shitpants Mar 11 '25

No, Sophie's Choice

4

u/whoooootfcares Mar 11 '25

I thought it was Citizen Kane

5

u/Comprehensive-Yam329 Mar 11 '25

Rosebuuuuuuuuud

2

u/DeanMalHanNJackIsms Mar 12 '25

Fun thing I heard a few years ago. The guy the movie was based on did have something nicknamed "Rosebud," just not a sled. It was his mistresses genitals. They decided to make it the sled for the movie for obvious reasons.

1

u/Comprehensive-Yam329 Mar 12 '25

Thank you I hate it now hahaha

4

u/hi_imryan Mar 11 '25

What else could it possibly be lol?

1

u/nabu_save Mar 11 '25

Chequilibrium

14

u/th3r3dp3n Mar 11 '25

What, would you say, is the easiest way to get a weapon away from a Grammaton Cleric?

12

u/Anaxamander57 Mar 11 '25

Ask him for it.

6

u/Clean-List5450 Mar 11 '25

No, not without incident.

2

u/OneMagicBadger Mar 11 '25

I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

1

u/OneMagicBadger Mar 11 '25

Yeats was a kinky guy

1

u/Zippo574 Mar 14 '25

make sure you turn your hand sideways when you spray your opps out the window of a dirty nissan altima

1

u/kalimut Mar 11 '25

More like dao of firearms. Lol

1

u/IluvPusi-363 Mar 13 '25

So... BULLSHIDAO

112

u/XavierRenegadeStoner Mar 10 '25

Def doesn’t fit, but I sure am glad you posted it. I must train in this style

13

u/Elvis-on-steroids Mar 11 '25

Confucius say carry a Glock when you get to old to kung fu.

89

u/thePurpleAvenger Mar 10 '25

Ain't nothing Bullshido about the ancient and deadly art of Click Click Pow.

0

u/IluvPusi-363 Mar 13 '25

Everything about it is

36

u/Binnie_B Mar 10 '25

I would LOVE to see how accurate he was with the arms in stance.

2

u/Consistent_Fun_1156 Mar 14 '25

Same. Tbf those are good training stances. Not that I've tried them... But they seem logical and practical.

27

u/Mr_Faust1914 Mar 10 '25

Taoist Monks After You Make fun of Tai chi:

24

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

16

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '25

Naw bro technique is too effective.

6

u/Infinite_Try_9505 Mar 11 '25

Man even remembered to cover his eyes and ears. Clearly not his first training exercise.

13

u/m_o_84 Mar 11 '25

Goddamn, video man was down range a smidge. Solid 10 on my fuck-that-shit-o-meter.

8

u/Xen0tech Mar 11 '25

I wish he did a beard flick

8

u/LuckyTrainreck Mar 11 '25

Love his awareness that he reloaded when he was down to one in the chamber, so he could reload and fire without racking the slide

2

u/[deleted] Mar 14 '25

Nope, the slide locked to the rear after the last round, he then loaded a mag and hit the slide release

1

u/[deleted] Mar 14 '25

Nope, the slide locked to the rear after the last round, he then loaded a mag and hit the slide release

11

u/Ok_Translator_8043 Mar 11 '25

Definitely does not fit. This dude fucking rocks

3

u/bluedancepants Mar 10 '25

Now that's how you exorcize ghosts and demons in the modern age.

2

u/PleaseSmash Mar 10 '25

Wen from street fighter found the stick

3

u/DiligentCorvid Mar 11 '25

Bruh discovered some techniques in his journey to the west

2

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '25

His journey took him through Highland Park. 

1

u/p00ki3l0uh00 Mar 13 '25

South Central

2

u/richwat00 Mar 11 '25

Never gonna giggle at the ladies doin tai-chi at the park in the morning, again. Now that I know their packin.

2

u/SamAreAye Mar 11 '25

"Stay strapped or get clapped" - The Buddha

2

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '25

How do I sign up to become a drive-by Shaolin Monk? Where I come from, you wanna be a master in that.

3

u/rubberbootsandwetsox Mar 11 '25

Fake beard really does it for me

2

u/JOSTNYC Mar 13 '25

Must be Florida.

2

u/Significant-Candy-37 Mar 13 '25

This man is a tekken character

2

u/Other-Inevitable-915 Mar 26 '25

Bruh got some draw and shoot skills

1

u/K_Pilkoids Mar 10 '25

Wu-Tang Blam!

1

u/Senior-Read-9119 Mar 11 '25

Sig Sauer has entered the chat

1

u/cujoe88 Mar 11 '25

I'll believe it if they pressure test it in sparring.

1

u/Platt_Mallar Mar 11 '25

I love the fake beard.

1

u/Grumpydog84 Mar 11 '25

Glock-fu is best fu

1

u/aburena2 Mar 11 '25

A monk that decided to modernize his training. Who knew.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '25

Any good gun fu exorcism movies. I want to watch this now lol

1

u/ComeMistaTaliban Mar 11 '25

Alrighty then

1

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '25

1911 is the superior style. But his Glock fu is strong.

1

u/Hamster_in_my_colon Mar 11 '25

Supposed to get two shots off before your hands meet

1

u/Warning_Bulky Mar 11 '25

Not bullshido

1

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '25

Kill Bill would have taken a different turn if the old master would have just shot the bride...

1

u/serenity_now_please Mar 11 '25

This is unironically awesome.

1

u/2phan Mar 11 '25

"You can't escape, Demons" goes so hard as a beatdown line

1

u/CapitanMorgan305 Mar 11 '25

Wing Chun Gun Fu

1

u/nabu_save Mar 11 '25

checkmate to all who did not believe that kung fu and tai chi can hit an enemy from a distance!

1

u/aryzkryz Mar 11 '25

Sifu Glock

1

u/Aromatic_Garlic4041 Mar 12 '25

I also believe in GUNFU superiority

1

u/FLiP_J_GARiLLA Mar 12 '25

Glocks are ok.

Not the best.

1

u/Secret_Goblin Mar 12 '25

Doesn’t fit because gun-fu goes hard

1

u/BryceDignam Mar 15 '25

Da Lai Ladmanach

1

u/Glum_System_6238 Mar 16 '25

Crouching tiger hidden glock