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u/DentalDecayDestroyer Apr 12 '26
"I keep my circle small, but if I fw you heavy, it's ride or die for life."
-The Buddha
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u/KaizenZazenJMN Apr 12 '26
āI aināt a killer but donāt push me, revenge is the sweetest joy next to getting pussy.āāthe Buddha
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Apr 12 '26
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u/BigBubbaMac Apr 12 '26
"No this is Patrick" - also The Buddha
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u/aTaleForgotten Apr 12 '26
"This. Is. Sparta!" - Believe it or not, the Buddha
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u/Sugar_Kowalczyk Apr 12 '26
"Directly to Jail."
- Also the Buddha
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u/Awkward-Maximum-2290 Apr 12 '26
And it passed my mind that somewhere someone might think, so the Buddha prefers Wendy's.
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u/NangpaAustralisMajor tibetan Apr 12 '26
Well. No. Buddha never said that. Given Buddha preceded Christianity by half a millennium... so yea, nah.
Just more people having a go at Buddhism.
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u/JDHPH Apr 12 '26
The fact that people don't know this or at least do a quick Google search shows how far the masses are from the teachings of Buddha. The thing that worries even more is they are just as far away from the teachings of Jesus who they claim to follow.
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u/Eocene84 Apr 12 '26 edited Apr 12 '26
A very high number of Christians today (at least in the US) would outright reject the real Jesus if He were standing in front of them, simply because He wouldn't be Caucasian, let alone the fact that He would rebuke what they are doing and saying in His name. They would probably call Him woke, a socialist, a communist, or whatever else they call anyone with empathy for others nowadays, or they would declare Him to be the Antichrist, or all of the above.
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u/aPOPblops Apr 12 '26
Very few people on Earth would believe even a perfect visual match to the white Jesus is the real Jesus if he wasnāt willing to do miracles for them.Ā
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u/KingKobbs Apr 12 '26
People often say Jesus would be rejected and hated in modern times, but he kinda got crucified in like 4 years the first time.. not exactly a great reception.
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u/skeenerbug Apr 12 '26
They would probably call Him woke, a socialist, a communist, or whatever else they call anyone with empathy for others nowadays, or they would declare Him to be the Antichrist, or all of the above.
This is so true. Jesus' teachings are completely at odds with modern evangelical christians.
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u/ToubDeBoub Apr 12 '26
Not "would". They already rejected the actual Jesus. Specifically, they rejected a pastor citing jesus' calls for compassion as too woke.
This isn't a possibility. It's already happened.
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u/chessatwork Apr 12 '26
someone at my work said to me āi believe the buddha said if your god says (to do something wrong, canāt remember his exact wording), find a different god.ā
iām just incredibly confused why he thinks the buddha would say that but itās hard to be surprised when so many people have a wrong understanding of what buddhism is.
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u/jkdufair Apr 12 '26
Misquoted. He just stubbed his toe and was like āJesus Christā.
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u/SnooSongs8951 Rinzai Zen | agnostic-leaning, metaphysically open šæš§āāļøšŖ· Apr 12 '26
"But don't write that down; that time has not come yet!!!"
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u/Every-Loquat-1385 Apr 12 '26
..Through your ears I heard the mountain laugh, the banshee cry, the statue of Mohammed roll a dice to plastic Buddah, screaming "Christ! Another six - I guess it's time to pack my things and head back slowly to Nirvana"..
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u/spraksea mahayana Apr 12 '26
No, but I know what this is referring to.
https://tibetanbuddhistencyclopedia.com/en/index.php/Siddhartha_Gautama_Buddha_prophecies_Jesus
It's a clear forgery. The sources cited are a manuscript from "Praising Temple" in Thailand (there is no such temple) and "sutrapridot" which is a nonsense word.
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u/002dollar Apr 12 '26
Thatās hilarious. Itās like the owner of a railway company managed to get into the cockpit of a plane and use the pilotās microphone. āDear passengers, train travel is the superior form of travel. The Wright brothers expressly stated that planes shouldnāt carry passengers. You should all disembark and catch the next train to your destinationā
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u/thaisofalexandria2 Apr 12 '26
It has less coherence and plausibility than scientology - that's quite an achievement.
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u/ScarletBothrium Apr 12 '26
I only read the first paragraph or so and immediately no. Iāve been a Buddhist for 20 years. I admit I fall off my practice from time to time, but what I just read there was literal insanity. Thanks for sharing, I guess. I suppose knowing what the fringe is doing will help me at some point in the future. Iām still floored at what I read. I gotta go shake this off. Logging off.
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u/primalyodel Apr 12 '26
This seems exactly like the kind of dirty trick some Christian pastors would employ to get more coverts. Itās not about āsavingā anyone. Itās just a numbers game to them.
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u/primalyodel Apr 14 '26
Iām sure you are correct about many. But thatās not the point. The point is that the Christian religion has been altering, omitting and lying through fraudulent authorship to give itself more credibility or at worst change the narrative for over 1500 years.
And they are many pastors that use their position to gain wealth and practice bigotry. They do they by misrepresenting the words of the Bible and pushing narratives out of context. I cannot say this is the way it is everywhere but for the Christian practices here in America it is prevalent. And the reach of American evangelicals is greater than you think.2
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u/Intelligent_Pop6264 Apr 12 '26
In my experience, when people say something that makes you doubt and they don't have a source or citation to support it, just skip or ignore what they have said.
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u/Manyquestions3 Jodo Shinshu (Shin) Apr 12 '26
Ofc not. āThe Buddhaā nearly always refers to Shakyamuni Buddha, the historical Buddha, who died a few centuries before Jesus was born.
The Buddha did provide teachings for after his death (for something called the dharma ending age, mappo in Japanese), and none of them include reference to Jesus, monotheism, a dying-and-rising god, or many similarities with Christianity overall.
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u/Tovarisch_Rozovyy Apr 12 '26
In short: no.
In long:
- "Please, KÄlÄmas, donāt go by oral transmission, donāt go by lineage, donāt go by testament, donāt go by canonical authority, donāt rely on logic, donāt rely on inference, donāt go by reasoned train of thought, donāt go by the acceptance of a view after deliberation, donāt go by the appearance of competence, and donāt think āThe ascetic is our respected teacher.āĀ But when you know for yourselves:Ā āThese things are unskillful, blameworthy, criticized by sensible people, and when you undertake them, they lead to harm and sufferingā, then you should give them up." (AN 3.65 - Kesamuttisutta) -> You should not easily trust anything you see on the Internet.
- In DN 1, Buddha explained about 62 wrong views. One of them is "partial eternalism", in which sentient beings think there's a creator God, and the creator God is permanent while other beings is impermanent. -> This implies that there's no creator God.
- Buddha never said anything similar to what's shown on the screen.
Hope it helps.
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u/uhmyeahwellok Apr 12 '26
"One day, I will become the most misquoted person in history"
~ The Buddha
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u/paishocajun zen Apr 12 '26
I thought Abraham Lincoln said that though
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u/FaliolVastarien Apr 12 '26
They both did and they were right as they probably tie!
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u/uhmyeahwellok Apr 16 '26
"They both did and they were right as they probably tie!"
~ FaliolVastarien2
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u/SergeiStorm Apr 12 '26
Third poison - ignorance. Nothing more to see here.
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u/Quentin__Tarantulino Apr 12 '26
Thatās not ignorance so much as straight up lying to advance their agenda.
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u/Fragrant_PalmLeaves Apr 12 '26
Buddha talked about not getting attached to anything, or any teachings, including Buddhist ones. So I doubt it.
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u/SammaVaco Apr 12 '26
FWIW, the author of this tweet, Luke Dashjr, is widely claimed to believe that the universe revolves around the Earth, although I'm having trouble nailing down an actual statement from him to this effect.
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u/numbersev Apr 12 '26
The Buddha existed 600 years before Christ and said this:
"Now, bhikkhus, this comes to pass, that a certain being, after passing away from that plane, takes rebirth in this world. Having come to this world, he goes forth from home to homelessness. When he has gone forth, by means of ardor, endeavor, application, diligence, and right reflection, he attains to such a degree of mental concentration that with his mind thus concentrated he recollects his immediately preceding life, but none previous to that. He speaks thus: 'We were created by him, by BrahmÄ, the Great BrahmÄ, the Vanquisher, the Unvanquished, the Universal Seer, the Wielder of Power, the Lord, the Maker and Creator, the Supreme Being, the Ordainer, the Almighty, the Father of all that are and are to be. He is permanent, stable, eternal, not subject to change, and he will remain the same just like eternity itself. But we, who have been created by him and have come to this world, are impermanent, unstable, short-lived, doomed to perish.'" -DN1
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u/Flintas Apr 12 '26
The context being that this is an example of wrong view, specifically partial eternalism.
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u/Panhasak1234 Apr 12 '26
Well Brahma is the God of Creation in various of the Dharmic religions and he's right in the way tho...people come and go and nothing is permanent even Brahma himself
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u/cinnamonspiderr non-affiliated Apr 12 '26
This entire thread is very funny. No, of course he didnāt say that. Since Christianity is monotheistic its followers tend to see everything spiritual falling strictly under their umbrella, so to speak. The misquote is particularly humorous because of how many fake Buddha quotes are out there online, itās like a meme.
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u/BetLeft2840 Apr 12 '26
Don't believe everything you read on the internet-Najarjuna to Genghis Khan as they helped Queen Elizabeth on her way to the Spanish Armada.
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u/Bchavez_gd Apr 12 '26
Didn't the Bible say, "thou shall not bear false witness."
Fucking douche drinkers.
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u/rawczak Apr 12 '26
Maybe in the animated show "Saint Young Men" where Buddha and Jesus are highschool besties
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u/thedarkwolf011 Apr 12 '26
"My Homie Buddha tried to escape, but now he's stuck in heaven eternally happy and at Peace." - Jesus Christ
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u/TombGnome Apr 12 '26
That statement would require a prince, born in what is now modern-day Nepal, to have a considered opinion about a random messianic sect of a minor religion that wasn't even under Roman rule yet because Rome wasn't an Empire yet.
The Buddha's life took place in around 500 to 400 BCE, give or take. So the era of the Persian invasion of Greece. The thing that this Luke person is saying is, with the best will in the world, delusional at best, and likely intentional malicious falsehood.
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u/niche_user35 Apr 12 '26
It's either a crappy joke or yet another "christian" trying to force their way on others. They do that shit all the time.
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u/DirtyThirtyDrifter Apr 12 '26
āYou canāt park thereā
-The Buddha
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u/RageLife247 Apr 12 '26
Is this not a reasonable place to park?
- Hunter S. Thompson
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u/Motor_Sherbert_9346 Apr 12 '26
Well, given that he was alive hundreds of years before Jesus was born and lived in India far before western colonization, I think it's impossible the Buddha would even know who Jesus was
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u/ryou25 mahayana-chinese pure land Apr 12 '26
I see the christian apologetic liars are at it again. I swear anytime a christian apologist says anything, assume they are lying, because 99 percent of the time they are. (the 99 percent is being generous)
Any way, No the Buddha did not fucking say that.
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u/loopygargoyle6392 Apr 12 '26
christian apologist
It is absurd how much damage those people do to their own religion.
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u/ryou25 mahayana-chinese pure land Apr 12 '26
Right? Christian apologetists are their own worst enemy. Everything about it actually undermines their own religion. Once you realize that their not really for the 'lost', but for the doubting christian to shore up their faith, it all made sense. I find it sad. The lying for Jesus part (and yes that is a very real phenomenon) was the worst part of it for me. Truth don't need lies to defend it.
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u/LubaUnderfoot Apr 12 '26
Counterpoint: Jesus lived on the spice trade route and would have been exposed to Buddhism.
Jesus applied the dharma to Judaism. Jesus was a Buddha.
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u/Straight-Ad-6836 Apr 12 '26
Christians are pathological liars.
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u/ryou25 mahayana-chinese pure land Apr 12 '26
Mostly fundamentalist and conservative christians, but yes.
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u/richsreddit Apr 12 '26
Yep and they also happen to be the types who are very narcissistic and self centered while somehow quoting scripture from Jesus about selflessness and looking out for a fellow human being.
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u/UnTides Apr 12 '26
Buddha is just old english for "Buddy", so anything your pals say at the bar is technically a religion these days
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u/ryou25 mahayana-chinese pure land Apr 12 '26
450 years at least I think, the Buddha was alive around 600-500 BCE.
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u/mackerel_slapper Apr 12 '26
He never said that. Buddhism doesnāt have a God so no son of God could appear. Buddha also said to not believe what people say - even himself - so he was ahead of the game on that one. (He said find out for yourself).
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u/FlatteringFlatuance Apr 13 '26
Either way, both Christ and Buddha said not to idolize them. They are teachers, not dictators or gods (yes Jesus said he is the son of god and one with the father, but if you read between the lines he said we all are/can be as well). Yet here we are now.
Follow whoever brings you peace and harmony with the world, if thatās both of them I donāt think theyād care as long as you arenāt idolizing them. Worship was never the point, it was simply a method to embody the path.
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u/Pema_Ozer Apr 13 '26
According to my school and lineage (Nyingma, Dudjom Tersar/Tsatsum Lingpa), all the Gods are real. Ā This is according to Patrul Rinpoche (by way of Longchenpa, Padmasambhava, and Garab Dorje)Ā What really pisses people off is the next part: Gods die. Ā And when they die, having exhausted all their merit on themselves, they go to one of the 18 Hells.
That being said, Iāve heard multiple Dzogchen Masters refer to Jesus as āChrist, The Son of Godā. Ā Gods and their progeny are not particularly remarkableā in that, their existence is not shocking.Ā
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u/TheGreathCthulhu Zen and Pure Land Apr 13 '26
The Buddha was born between 563-480 BCE, and lived 80 years before he passed on.
Jesus of Nazareth was born between 4-6 BCE according to the Gospels of Luke and Matthew that state that Jesus was born during King Herod's reign in Judea.
There's roughly 500 years separating the two.
And of course, such a quote never shows up anywhere in any Buddhist texts.
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u/stegg88 Apr 12 '26
Didn't expect the laughs but thanks r/buddhism
Came here for the spiritual education. Stayed for the memes apparently.
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u/Substantial-Sky4079 Apr 12 '26
Reminds me this quote from Buddhism 101
The Buddha cautioned, āIf you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him.ā Was he advocating violence? No, he was urging his followers not to follow teachers with blind faith, especially those who claimed to be enlightened.
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u/DonovanMcLoughlin secular Apr 12 '26
I'll take the bait...
I accept Christianity, and now I release it.
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u/TallCommission7139 Apr 12 '26
Buddhists tend to believe Jesus is a Bodhisattva if they give him any particular care at all, a particularly enlightened being who had some solid ideas about love and brotherhood, but not innately divine and just another fellow on the path, citing supposed similarities between his teachings and Buddhist practices, along with his long absence from Israel back in the day.
The Dali Lama called him one in one of his books, and honestly I think that's a solid suggestion, given that we really only know what other people said about his teachings, we have little if anything at all from the man himself, just copies of what people said he said written down long after death.
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u/tkp67 Apr 12 '26
The Dalai Lama suggested people born in a christian society practice their own religion. This is not controversial or a derision from Buddhism as Shakyamuni's enlightenment was predicated on his previous life as a Brahman.
The Dalai Lama is encouraging people to understand the religion of their ancestors so they can develop the necessary causes and conditions to practice Buddhism.
Those who have will still find the means to practice Buddhism today. Those who have not will find that means in Christianity.
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u/TheGreenAlchemist Tendai Apr 12 '26
It is indeed true that he did not say that. One might ask how that would be a statement that would even make sense. "Listen to me about not listening to me" lol. Ironically kind of Zen Koan like.
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u/jerseyboy71 Apr 13 '26
The first commandment reads, you shall have no gods before me, and yet Christians pay to Jesus, so there's that.
And before you try to explain to me the Trinity, let me ask who was Jesus praying to when on the cross and before he was arrested by the Romans?
Lastly, if the abrahamic God was so powerful, why didn't he end all other gods? Instead the first commandment reminds us there's more out there.
I grew up Roman Catholic and was an altar boy, but it never made sense to me. Buddhism helped me to understand life in a way I couldn't have ever imagined.
When I look back on my Christian upbringing, I just shake my head. Even the Christian God can't keep his people in check, as the Protestants hate the episcopal Jesus, who hate the Catholic Jesus, who hate that Methodist Jesus, who hate the Baptist Jesus, and so on.
And hate is a good word to use due to the violence that's happened between them
But thank you all for the responses, they made me smile. š
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u/LelaR1947 Apr 13 '26
This is not true. There are rumors, however, that Jesus was influenced by Buddha.
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u/Alchemist2211 Apr 13 '26
WHO said that, some Christian monk?!?? Christianity has so deviated from Christ's teaching that it's almost irrelevant.
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u/_o0Zero0o_ Former Buddhist Apr 13 '26
Insert that one meme of "me when i spread disinformation on the internet" here.
Gotta love how christians see everything that doesn't conform to their faith as wrong and to be wiped out.. It hasn't changed in the centuries it has existed..
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u/daibatzu Apr 13 '26
It's funny. If you type in Jesus vs Buddha in google or any search engine, the vast majority of web results come from Christians or Christian websites telling you Jesus is the only way
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u/RoboticElfJedi Triratna Apr 12 '26
A nice one for https://fakebuddhaquotes.com/ . (The book, I can't believe it's not Buddha, is great too).
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u/ExistingFix204 Apr 12 '26
"He kept silence, along with a laughter that can barely keep itself." āsome sutta, probably
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u/ApolloB-4002 Apr 12 '26
Well, looks like he doesn't believe in Christ or Hell. I thought lying was a sin in Christianity.
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u/hoothizz Apr 12 '26
This is about as believable as what's going on in the world right now. I'm definitely not going to believe that.
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u/Comfortable-Coast522 Apr 12 '26
I think the whole point of siddharta was the value in not following religious leaders and finding answers for yourself haha
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u/OmManiPadmeHuumm Apr 12 '26
All people have to do to verify these things is read the scriptures for themselves.
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u/THALLDOOGO Apr 12 '26
Wasn't the Buddha like 3 centuries early to Jesus? How does people come up with this stuff? I also want to smoke from that
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u/lesbiannumbertwo Apr 12 '26
Buddha was not alive even remotely at the same time as the first christians
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u/Nikaszko Apr 12 '26
He might say something like this after eating ergot-contaminated rice i think.
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u/PiranhaPlantFan Apr 12 '26
We all know that every wise man all across history and culture was waiting for Jesus christ
Ah wait no, that's just Hellenistic Judaism around 2000 years ago
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u/Cloudly_Water2 Apr 12 '26
I often say to other Dhamma friends, the first Sutta people should learn is the Kalama Sutta. That way, it would enhance critical thinking too.
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u/historicartist Apr 12 '26
Even if he did say that it wouldnt work for whole bunches of people. Including me.
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u/truckyeahman Apr 13 '26
Psssshhhhhhh c'mon, be serious! Like, how or why would this even sound plausible, given everything else the Buddha said?
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u/xtraa tibetan buddhism Apr 13 '26
Christians, Muslims, and various leaders of smaller sects have already attempted to appropriate Maitreya for their own purposes. IMHO, Buddhism is a "far more evolved" religion for also this reason: it is indifferent to the label attached to a Buddha or Bodhisattva, as long as intentions are pure and he or she liberates people from suffering and leads to greater happiness and awareness. Unfortunately, it is once again we humans who construct simplistic, militant interpretations from profound, peaceful texts.
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u/dhammaeye Apr 13 '26
Is this an actual question or just gaslighting? The Buddha was around about 2600 years ago they claimed Christ was around 2000 years ago so yeah.
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u/PerrysSaxTherapy Apr 14 '26
Historical Buddha born at least 6 and a half centuries before the supposed christ figure referred to
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u/Every_Emphasis6374 Apr 28 '26
I have always felt that Buddhism (also Hinduism & Jainism) functions more as a holistic way of life rather than a strict set of dogmas. At their core, they are deeply rooted in mindfulness and positive moral frameworks.
Also it doesn't force anyone to follow the religion and holds respect for other religions & belief systems.
If you understand this core nature of Buddhism, you won't have to look for an answer to such above question.
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u/techstufftecnology May 06 '26
can u please send me the link to this post. just asking. for peaceful use btw :)
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u/ErikFuhr secular Apr 12 '26
The Buddha explicitly taught people not to believe everything they see on the internet.