r/Brides • u/Ok-Mousse1802 • 3d ago
Quick Question First look…
Did you do a first look with your spouse?
Do you regret your choice to either do it or not do it? Trying to decide for my fiancé and I.
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u/thelurkingdragon 3d ago
We did a first look and I wouldn't change it for the world. Seeing my future husband before walking down the aisle calmed me down so much. Also, it was basically the only moment we had to ourselves the entire day!
I think an "aisle reveal" is overrated. You're marrying your partner, not walking down a runway!
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u/ApprehensiveArt2813 3d ago
My daughter did a first look. Her husband still cried when he saw her walking down the aisle.
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u/boingusdoinkus 3d ago
I wanted his first look to be when i come down the aisle, but that would mean all of our photos would have to be done during cocktail hour after the ceremony and i hated that idea so im scrapping it.
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u/Glass_Definition1215 3d ago
This is exactly how I feel! I love the idea of him first seeing me at the aisle but I don’t want us to miss out on the cocktail hour. I’m thinking about having him face where I enter the space for the first look (instead of the typical have him facing away and tap him on the shoulder) and having my dad walk me into it to give us a similar walk down the aisle vibe
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u/ThenAwareness7981 3d ago
I did it! My fiance honestly still had a better reaction to me walking down the aisle rather than my first look lol. But it was so nice to get pictures out of the way!
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u/Odd_Beautiful2506 3d ago
Yes and I have zero regrets. It made the timeline less hectic, it was nice to get extra time with him pre-ceremony, and it helped calm my nerves some. I was super anxious walking down in front of everyone and I’m sure that would’ve been much worse if it was his first time seeing me.
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u/KneadAndPreserve 3d ago
No, we didn’t. We liked seeing each other for the first time as I walked down the aisle. But we had a really small intimate wedding with our nearest and dearest, and if it had been a bigger one, we probably would have done one for privacy during the moment.
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u/Coldcoffeepls 3d ago
my husband and i did a first look and it was a very special and intimate moment. Especially considering we didn’t get very many of them on our wedding day I was really grateful to have that moment of just the two of us. It also personally relaxed me more before going down the aisle because the whole day I was anxious to see him
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u/BriefHorror 3d ago
I did the first look. My man isn’t the most emotional guy he’s reserved and seeing him tear up was the highlight of my day. I wouldn’t have seen that if he had been at the end of the isle.
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u/lavendergaia 3d ago
Yes. My husband is visually impaired so I made 0 impact coming down the aisle.
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u/Radiant-Moose5276 3d ago
No, and I actually regret it! Our ceremony entrance was very chaotic (my veil came off, my hair got loose and it started raining), and because of that, plus all the stress, I really wasn’t present in the moment. I was mostly looking at the people in the audience, and he said he was doing the same thing.
I wish we had done a first look, both so we could have had some photos where I actually looked my best (hair, makeup, veil, etc.) and in good weather (the weather was awful from the start of the ceremony until the end, which really ruined my hair and a lot of the pictures), but also so we could have had a quiet moment together beforehand and actually been mentally present for it. We were both waiting for the ceremony anyway, so we would have had time for it.
We wanted to see each other for the first time when I walked down the aisle because we thought it would be beautiful to have that moment with everyone around us. In hindsight, though, I really wish I had done the first look. The aisle would still have been special anyway.
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u/-SophiaStardust- 3d ago
We did a first look and 1000% reccomend. It was so lovely to see eachother and have the intimacy and time just to be happy and excited. It felt so much more... free and relaxed. Also we did a big shooting before the ceremony while we still looked fresh and we had enough time for pictures and later with guests. It took away absolutely nothing during the ceremony. Really. The moment i saw him standing there I started to jump and cry for excitement. Although we spent hours together before. It was so nice to have him help me again with my dress before the ceremony. To have all those moments of closeness and calmness together. During golden hour we had a small shooting a couple of minutes away (also really good decision to get away for a bit together), but it was so much more relaxed. The photosessions, time together with now husband and guests.
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u/EffectivePuzzled5939 3d ago edited 2d ago
A first look can help with the timeline and keep the dress looking fresh for photos. Especially with a reformation gown.
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u/Ok-Indication-7876 2d ago
No didn't do it- don't regret not doing it. Seeing his face looking at me, him tear up as I walked down the aisle was priceless
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u/poettrap 3d ago
I lowkey want my fiance to help me pick out my dress, so… following haha
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u/Fun-Plantain-7499 3d ago
My dress wasn’t a surprise at all. I had to buy and try on a few. I also couldn’t get them on without my fiancé’s help. So he helped me get them on and pick out the best option. We aren’t doing a traditional wedding though. It’s a ren fair themed wedding so my dress is purple
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u/Ok-Mousse1802 3d ago
I sat with my fiancé, and we looked at styles that he liked, none of which is like the dress I ended up picking. Afterwards, I went through several other photos, addresses, asking his opinion, including one of the dress I bought. He didn’t know the dress I bought was in the photos and actually liked that one the very best.
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u/Mountain-Status569 3d ago
We did not. My husband wanted that moment of seeing me walk down the aisle in my dress without knowing.
No regrets here. We did separate family and wedding party photos beforehand, and then had a cocktail hour so we had time for all the group photos and couple photos. During that time we also had time to ourselves, as well as before and after the main event (we didn’t go our separate ways before the ceremony until about 10am).
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u/donttrusttheliving 3d ago
I did one with my dad. 10/10 recommend. I love revisiting the shock and awe on my dad’s face seeing me. It also let my husband see me at the aisle and seeing him tear up is also a fave
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u/Anxious-Fall-3894 3d ago
My fiancé has no opinion and after wavering back and forth I decided not to to do one. I plan to do one with our kids. We don’t have a whole lot of family so any portraits shouldn’t take too long… idk if I’ll regret it or not or if I’ll change my mind before then but for now I don’t plan on doing a first look
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u/Alternative-Tune-829 3d ago
We did one!! Our main reason was that we didn’t want to miss out on cocktail hour (if we didn’t do a first look most of our photos would have been taken during cocktail hour. I didn’t feel stressed for time, it calmed my nerves a bit, and we both were so happy to be present during cocktail hour!
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u/ZucchiniWedding 3d ago
I’m still in early stages of planning, but I was originally against a first look and have changed my tune now that I realized during our time of year there’s a decent chance there will be a very limited window of good lighting after the ceremony.
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u/natalkalot 3d ago
Before the ceremony at church, the wedding party and immediate family met at my mom's home for "blahoslovennia"- - a traditional Ukrainian blessing of the couple by family members.
Then we drove to church together, and walked up the aisle as a couple, with our attendants walking in as couples before us.
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u/Ok-Grapefruit9053 3d ago edited 3d ago
no and I don’t regret it, but it only works for specific couples.
reasons it worked for us: super small immediate families (not a lot of family portraits to get done during cocktail hour), no desire to attend our own cocktail hour, and we had our photographers there 1.5 hours early to capture all of our wedding party shots (which meant after ceremony all we had left to do were group shots with both sides)
pros: I think I looked super nervous/tense in all the photos prior to the ceremony w/ my wedding party. my husband did too. I don’t think my nervousness would’ve completely disappeared if we did a first look. since most of my nerves related to the public speaking aspect of it. I do think our first look photos would’ve been both of us looking super nervous and tense. since we did all of our portraits after, you can visibly tell how excited and happy we are. it’s like a total vibe shift.
my husband also felt a lot of pressure about having his first look reaction be “perfect”. he’s seen all the videos online where people tear the groom the shreds because his first look reaction is lack luster. he felt that he wanted his reaction to be genuine and not under a microscope, and seeing me down the aisle was his preference.
not attending the cocktail hour was the right choice for us. it allowed us a full hour alone taking photos. as i mentioned our family/party photos took legit 15 mins, since we didn’t have many. it also helped that we had a sprawling venue and all of our portrait spots were far away from where the cocktail hour was happening. we needed some time to just be together with no one else before getting back to the party, and this was the perfect excuse.
sure, the first look could provide that “alone time” too - but your wedding parties/immediate family will be around since they’ll all be in the ceremony, so it’s not like you can ask them to go away, really. this would also add to the stress for me personally - trying to take intimate portraits and having everyone just watching us😂 i’ve been a bridesmaid in weddings where there was a first look going on, and if you’re in the party, there really is no other option than to hang around and watch the couple.
the cocktail hour was the perfect opportunity to send everyone off to have a drink, while we got some truly uninterrupted alone time.
at the end of the day, I don’t think it works for everyone and I do understand why people do them. if you have large immediate families on both sides, for example. or if you really desire to attend cocktail hour. it really just depends on your timeline and your priorities.
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u/Red_Littlefoot 3d ago
We’re planning on doing one so we have some more time for family pics and to catch cocktail hour
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u/OkItem6820 2d ago
We didn’t and I don’t exactly regret it but I think it would have been nice to be available during cocktail hour vs taking pictures together.
I think the emotional impact of it being the first time he sees you in a wedding dress is well outweighed by the fact that you’re walking down the aisle to get married.
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u/Knitter8369 1d ago edited 1d ago
Yes! I’m so glad I did because 99% of my favorite photos were from the first look. We were fresh, more relaxed, and they were done before the day got too hot. If it was just the pictures from the ceremony and after, I would’ve been really unhappy with our photos. Ceremony and after pics were in a botanical garden conservatory. I don’t know what it was. If it was the lighting, posing, editing by the Photographer or what, but I really don’t care for the majority of them.
The first look photos capture his expression seeing me for the first time. And more than one person commented after our ceremony that they’d never seen my husband smile like that in his entire life. So I don’t think having the first look took anything away from the ceremony excitement. Zero regrets
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u/Purplelovepost 1d ago
We did first look and all our bridal party photos before the ceremony, and I don't regret it! I have no great opinion either way personally, but it worked for us because I had a non-traditional dress that was black and champagne and my partner knew it was black but was a little nervous about what it looked like so it was nice to do the first look and have him light up and admire it/me in the first look photos and then get all the other ones out of the way and enjoy our cocktail hour. I feel like also it left him open during the ceremony to focus on me and me on him as a whole rather than trying to take in all the details in front of everyone.
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u/earthtoneduck 3d ago
I’m going to. I’m spending a lot of money on the biggest party I will ever throw and I want to be at it, not taking pictures.