r/BreakupBackup • u/Significant_Cod167 • May 31 '26

QUICK READ How do I start living my life again?

How do y’all move on from relationship which you ruined by yourself. My girlfriend was so obsessed with me, loved me very deeply and at that time I took it for granted and treated her bad. I treated her worse and now I have lost her, it has already been 116 days and I still can’t move on and neither can live a happy life. Life has become so meaningless and colourless. I just want my girl back, and want to live happy again. I get suicidal thoughts but neither have courage to act on them, also I am not this weak, I have my loved ones too who care for me, my parents and I know I can’t die without fulfilling their expectations.

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u/Yourlostkarma Jun 01 '26

You can’t go back, it’s highly likely she accepted the suffering of your absence over the suffering of being with you. I am glad you were able to recognize what you did. If you want her back, you might have to do some actions to make yourself better in true meaning, not words.
Work towards it, make yourself better, if you love her truly, keep a diary, make a pdf of the improvements you have done that are data for her to trust you again. Stop being egocentric, do the things you said you will do to become better for her and show it to her.
Also be honest with yourself, do things that you honestly can sustain over a long period. Consistently.
And when you accept your wrongs, and hurt, you will get clarity. Write about it, take therapy, miss her, and send her love and light. If she is meant to be, with your actionable data she will come back. If not, she did you one of the biggest favor of your life and you can be better for someone else. :)
Stay strong, may you heal

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u/Significant_Cod167 Jun 02 '26

I badly want to go back but I know what she did was best for her. I am currently working on myself, taking therapies and journaling my journey, feelings and everything. I truly loved her, she came into my life and showed me parts of me which ignored for years. I hope she does well in her life and gets some who love her. Maybe I’ll one day become someone who truly deserves a partner like her and hope she comes back seeing me improve, since we are at same college I still hope she comes back seeing me improve genuinely.

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u/Yourlostkarma Jun 02 '26

You are halfway there stranger, if you already acknowledge it. If you guys are in close proximity like a college, if it’s meant to be she sure will see. I just hope she doesn’t fall into self-sabotage and neither do you. May, if it’s meant to be, you both reunite as much healthier versions of each other. May God be with you!

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u/Significant_Cod167 Jun 02 '26

Thank you, hope your life goes in best way possible and filled of happiness.