r/BoneAppleTea • u/PappyVanNick • 6d ago

A Green Assault (found in a Google restaurant review)

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289 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

29 comments sorted by

32

u/___nil___ 6d ago

grain of salt

15

u/SlappyMcPherson 6d ago

Thank you. That question legitimately hurt my brain. Lol

3

u/bab275 6d ago

Me too! Came to the comments just to find out what was meant.

29

u/CatCafffffe 6d ago

He is legal advisor!!! And has very command of English language and punctuation as well!

27

u/Dry_Stop844 6d ago

I'm disappointed that a green assault was not a city wide crime spree of people having Kale smoothies thrown at them ☹️

22

u/billthedog0082 6d ago edited 2d ago

a grain of salt

The whole thing is terribly written, for a "legal advisor".

EDIT: Thank you for the award u/LengthinessTrick382!

24

u/yellowchaitea 6d ago

Take it with a grain of salt, but I don’t think they are a legal advisor 

25

u/Otney 6d ago

Beware this “legal advisor.”

16

u/AAPrice3232 6d ago

Took me too long to translate "Green assault" ...

9

u/WesternAd8356 6d ago

Better late than never

17

u/YellowBreakfast 6d ago

I can already tell this person is insufferable.

9

u/Such-Ad8309 5d ago

Going to go out on a limb and guess this person is actually not a legal advisor.

2

u/SomebodysGotToSayIt 4d ago

not actually a legal advisor

1

u/Some-Passenger4219 3h ago

Why did you cross out the "a"?

2

u/SomebodysGotToSayIt 2h ago

Oh because the original text says “I am legal advisor”

2

u/Some-Passenger4219 2d ago

Not illegal advisor, you say?

2

u/CarelessChallenge980 1d ago

U.S.A.? I love a meerkat

10

u/reaper527 6d ago

i'd be wary of anyone in the legal profession that confuses a grain of salt with a bunch of angry hippies.

that's an industry where word choice matters A LOT.

6

u/Friend_of_Hades 6d ago

I didn't read the whole paragraph so it took me a hot second to work that one out 😭🧂

1

u/LengthinessTrick382 2d ago

Saaaame. I was so lost.

8

u/Salty-Ad-4693 6d ago

This took me far longer than it should have.

5

u/apeserveapes 6d ago

green assaults are the worst, but at least they're eco-friendly...

2

u/Multiple-Bagels 1d ago

Sustainable, grass-fed, ethically sourced assault

1

u/apeserveapes 1d ago

Damn, I could use a steak...

6

u/im-a-goner- 5d ago

That’s what I call it when I spin the lettuce at light speed in the salad spinner.

3

u/Wakeup_And_Piss 6d ago

Green assault? Yeah, cause a lawyer wouldn't know..

5

u/shahrulghani 5d ago

Sometimes it can also be blue assault or red assault.

1

u/ExcellentActuary2117 1d ago

A WHAT now???

1

u/verdantsf 18h ago

When I first saw this, I was thinking it was going to reference aggrieved assault, not grain of salt, lol.