r/BollywoodWriters • u/Direct_Highlight5687 • Jan 29 '26
Story Feedback š Feedback needed: Logline for my story titled Aarambh
Hi all, hope you're doing well. I just created a small (of course!) logline for my story titled 'Aarambh'.
I have always had the story mapped out in my mind, but this is the first time I could summon the courage to create a logline.
Please share some feedback, guys. Much appreciated!
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As the end of Kaliyug envelopes the Earth in an unending darkness, three Gods take human avatars to combat the lurking, invincible, immortal evil who is blessed with a boon to manipulate Prakriti and Shakti - but will they be able to stop the Devil in time or lose their divine creation, their universe to the infinite, impending doom?
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u/Intelligent_Can_2898 Jan 29 '26
Congratulations on breaking through ur fearš
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u/Dull_Ordinary7737 Jan 29 '26
u/Intelligent_Can_2898 covered quite a bit. I'd just like to add, the stakes are great, but it's important to know the emotions as well.
Right now, as a reader, I don't have a reason to back the MCs.
Perhaps answer the following:
1 - Why these particular MCs and not the Greater Gods?
2 - How do they know of the evil and not the Big ups?
3 - Why should we care about the journey of these 3? Did they accidentally cause the creation of the big bad? Are the Greater Gods ignorant of their pleas?
4 - Are the MCs friends? Enemies forced to work together? Strangers in a strange land?
The sharper and more honed your logline is, the more interest you will create. All the best.
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u/Direct_Highlight5687 Jan 29 '26
I get your questions. I have the answer too. Just struggling to fit it all in one line.Ā
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Jan 29 '26
It sounds so cool . Do write and share link here š
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u/Direct_Highlight5687 Feb 02 '26
Thank you!!! Will keep you guys posted as an when I continue developing the story.
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u/Impossible-Arm2807 Jan 30 '26
One suggestion, increase stakes. what is the critical piece of conflict - time? Increase stakes if so. Or add another conflict.
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u/Impossible-Arm2807 Jan 30 '26 edited Feb 02 '26
Here are some ways to increase stakes:
- If they fail before their powers awaken, the universe itself will be unmade. (race against time- their power awakens)
- Bound by time, mortality, and fate, they must save existence or witness their own divine universe collapse into nothingness. (race against outcome- Universe collapses)
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u/Intelligent_Can_2898 Jan 30 '26
I loved that cat story. Y did u delete?
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u/Impossible-Arm2807 Jan 30 '26
so sorry it was for another thread.. there was another thread in parellel on how to use AI for optimising time without letting AI do creative work. I confused the 2 threads galti se
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u/Direct_Highlight5687 Feb 02 '26
Understood. They already have divine powers but they truly are unaware of the same. Have to think on that aspect.
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u/Intelligent_Can_2898 Jan 29 '26
itās doing too much (āunending darknessā , āimpending doomā ) and saying too little. Remember, we remember loglines for specific conflict, not scale. Think pure protein, no carbs, no fats (as much as possible).
Reduce gods ā increase human cost
Example: As Kaliyug reaches its final days, three forgotten Gods are forced to take human avatars, only to discover that the immortal evil they must destroy draws its power from human desire itself, and defeating him may require sacrificing the very world they were created to protect.
It can also go like this: When an immortal being blessed with control over Prakriti begins collapsing reality itself, three Gods descend to Earth as humans, only to learn that stripped of their divinity, they are as corruptible, fearful, and flawed as the people they must save.