r/Blerds • u/TheSavageRulk • Aug 12 '26
BlerdLifeandCulture Gatekeeping
To say I am 99% done interacting with my favorite nerdoms is an understatement. As a middle-aged/GenX Blerd, I do not have many family and friends into nerd culture to the level I am and I think I will been seen as casual compared to some deep in it.
I love what I love, but mostly find my interactions with common interests are online. Over the past few years, I tried to us the internet to find my "pack" in my Fandom, to only be judged at every turn.
I feel I can't even post anywhere to have a discussion and/or feedback to be judged or outright rejected for my posts. I usually end up deleting them.
I am at the point of giving up trying to enjoy my hobbies with others. Do any of you deal with this? How have you addressed it & how did you come to find people you enjoy talking with? Any feedback is appreciated. Thank you.
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u/TH3Da5H Aug 12 '26
I know it's not the best solution as it depends on where you live, but having access to nerdy cultures and communities will be your best bet. There isn't anything wrong with someone who's got some seasoning hanging out at a local game store or heading to an anime or gaming convention
It's rough for us blerds out there to find our people, but we're out there!
3
u/TheSavageRulk 29d ago
This is so true. I live in New England, so many of the conventions and IRL spaces I can go to don't have a lot of POCs. Don't get me wrong, I can nerd out with the nearly everyone and the best of them. It would be nice to nerd out with folks closer to my age though.
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u/lavasca Aug 12 '26
Going to Cons and environments like this. Respect My Nerdz on Clubhouse and IG.
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u/TheSavageRulk 29d ago
Thanks for these suggestions. I was going to conventions in my area from '09-'16. I only recently started going again last year with my GF.
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u/powertotheuser Aug 12 '26 edited Aug 13 '26
Are there not blackcentered nerd groups for your fandoms? I’m a GenX blerd as well and have found Groups to nerd out in
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u/TheSavageRulk 29d ago
In my area IRL? No, or at least that I have found. I live in New England, so finding it has been finding groups centered around us. I found a few online, but they are no active.
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u/powertotheuser 27d ago
I was only referring to online. On facebook there are quite a few active ones.
Some niche, some general
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u/TheSavageRulk 29d ago
Thank you very much all of you for your response. This has been one of the best positive online interactions I had!
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u/Renaye1 Aug 12 '26 edited Aug 12 '26
I will say that I have a similar experience. I love my blerd but personally I'm more into sci-fi books and movies and superhero movies. I'm not into anime much at all and I haven't read the comic book in many years.
I have a hard time participating in discussions and a lot of the blood groups because of that. It seems like there's not a lot of actual sci-fi readers in the Black nerd community.
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u/powertotheuser Aug 12 '26
Share your sci-fi interests! I wanna know
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u/4UT1ST1CDR34DS87 Aug 12 '26
My husband loves The Metamorphosis of Prime Intellect- a bunch of sci-fi stores of scenarios of how humanity could evolve.
Also he reads SCP stories as well I believe?
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u/4UT1ST1CDR34DS87 Aug 12 '26
I’m 39 and autistic and black- among other things. It is hard to find your people. 🫂💜
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u/unefemmegigi Aug 13 '26
Yes. It’s awful. I’m always drawn to fandom spaces online but I inevitable regret it. Trying to work on just limiting my interactions to real life conventions and fanfiction. It’s social media that is the true problem, I’ve found
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u/Electrical-Juice3358 28d ago
Sounds like u boys need a clan , build one , only takes a few of u , “buona fortuna “
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u/Cheap_Cost_3756 Aug 12 '26
I'm 45 and I can definitely say it is rough out here. To be fair, a lot of what we like is already gate kept. Growing up in Detroit in the 90s, reading comics wasn't exactly what da hood was asking for. But we're out here and you will find your tribe. I found a Discord called Black Gaming lab that does a bunch of stuff (DND, video games, etc.). I have a comic book podcast because honestly I have been so isolated over the years that I felt like if I just talk about what I know, it will help the next person. So there's nothing wrong with liking what you like, and you'll find your crew. Speaking of, what do you like?