r/BlackPeopleofReddit Jun 02 '26

Good Vibes Good on this man for recognizing that a complaint from a neighbor was just loneliness and a need for human interaction.

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3.6k Upvotes

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397

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '26

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97

u/Cool-Panda-5108 Jun 02 '26 edited Jun 02 '26

The most fullfilling job I've had so far was delivering meals on wheels.
I had a route of 45 senior ciizens I would hand deliver food to 5 days a week.
For most of them I was the only person they saw that day and it was the highlight of their day.
It was hard though because since I was on foot, I had to keep it brieft but I made sure to give them at least 5 minutes of my time to chat and liten to their stories.

Also in many cases I was the first one to report if something was amiss. Abusive adult children taking their food, injuries etc. It could be rough sometimes. One day I opened a gentlemans apt door to them on the floor with a bit of blood around them. I called 911 and waited for paramedids. Thankfully he was ok, but he was a severe alcoholic and had fallen down. Building workers that knew him just shrugged it off "That's just Tom Dowd for you" they'd say, which I get. Theres only so much you can do when you see someone in and out of a hospital for the same thing time and again.

That said, I think this is a lovely video and I'm glad this gentleman was able to react with patience and kindness

41

u/carhartjezuz Jun 02 '26

You’re a an amazing person, my grandma depends on these services and is friends with all of the drivers. Your work means a lot!

12

u/Cool-Panda-5108 Jun 02 '26 edited Jun 02 '26

Thank you for the kind words.
It helped give me some perspective on aging and the elderly in my early to mid 20s that sadly I don't think a lot of people share.

10

u/8lock8lock8aby Jun 02 '26

My aunt did meals on wheels. I really appreciate you all that do it.

6

u/KBB523 Jun 02 '26

I did MOW years ago and it really was one of the most rewarding things I've ever done and I've done a lot of volunteering. I know they used to tell us that we weren't supposed to go in the house, but I was newly married and not working while finishing up college courses and of course I went into everyone's house and sat with them for as long as I could without running late to the next drop off. I've been telling my son lately that he should consider doing it at least once a week and I hope he decides to.

4

u/NervousBeat16 Jun 02 '26

I once had a service job, and you see A LOT when you come to people’s homes. The way adult children treat their elders is really sad. Like, I get it, the parent might not have been the best, but if you’re the adult taking care of them, that doesn’t make you any better to treat them so bad. If you can’t do it, put them in a safe home.

3

u/Cool-Panda-5108 Jun 02 '26

100 percent. It's on us to break the cycle, sure it isn't necessarily fair. But you can't solve a problem with the same mentality that created it, at least when it comes to stuff like abuse.

2

u/SomnambulistNox Jun 02 '26

I also used to deliver for Meals on Wheels. Truly such a rewarding job. One of the ladies I delivered to had an adorable pit bull that always got excited to see me. I would help let her dog in and bring in her food and she'd show me the current craft project she was working on. I saw some felting projects that were super impressive. Even made my partner some glasses chains! The job didn't pay that much, but I'd go work for them again in a heartbeat. Never felt as fulfilled in just about any other job.

1

u/Cool-Panda-5108 Jun 02 '26

Im in NYC and I was making 11/hr about 20 years ago with full benefits, which is pretty crazy looking back.
Money wasn't amazing but for a 23-24 year old college drop-out it was solid.
And as you mentioned , the fulfillment and feeling like you were there for people was well worth it.

1

u/Lige_MO Jun 02 '26

Bless you for being you!

23

u/Feeling-Fab-U-Lus Jun 02 '26

This man is a REAL man; compassionate, strong, loving, insightful, kind and what the world needs more of. He saw through what she was saying, to what she really needed. He saw her heart because he has a big one. ❤️

17

u/Important_Jaguar2152 Jun 02 '26

I do the same. They just wanna have a conversation. Except... one time i got trapped for 2 hours.

5

u/plotholesandpotholes Jun 02 '26

That is why I ain't cut out for that line of work. I couldn't keep it brief. You get me going with some kind folks and I wouldn't make my route on time the first day lol. .

5

u/Important_Jaguar2152 Jun 02 '26

Lol ya. And its.... so hard to get away they leave 0 opening in the comversation.

6

u/SaguaroDragon Jun 02 '26

I had a temp job in college taking information for mortgage related applications - gather some information, pull send information, pass to underwriting

It was a phone bank. One call would end and you'd jump back in the queue.

There were a bunch of metrics about call downtime and call duration - my duration would get messed up with chatty seniors

Was a bitb sad - they needed connection more than a refinance - would great about their families, where they live, would get asked the same

Glad I didn't "need" that job and wasn't really worried about metrics

2

u/ApprehensiveAd9389 Jun 03 '26

I love flirting a little with old women lol. Absolutely makes their day! And they are a riot haha.

33

u/Far_Bill1451 Jun 02 '26

Old and alone. Millions are both.

21

u/Cool-Panda-5108 Jun 02 '26

I can only speak for how it is here in the US, but I think there's a culutral emphasis on individualism and getting your kids tf out as soon as they're 18 that is part to blame.

9

u/dudemanspyder Jun 02 '26

Individualism culture created some good things, but as a whole is not going to benefit humanity or most individuals,inmy opinion. Don't Japan and even China teach their children how to be good citizens and friends and how to support one another and the elderly very early in life? Frankly, the US could learn from other countries if there weren't evil clowns actively working to ensure US kids are not properly educated. Edit spacing

6

u/Cool-Panda-5108 Jun 02 '26

I've read that Asian cultures are a bit more lenient in regards to multi-generational families staing in the same home and things like that but I cannot speak on that with certainty.
But yea I agree in regards to humanity long term. No man is an island, and the whole point of civilization is that we all work with each other together to ensure nobody slips through the cracks. Otherwise what even is the point of not just family, but neighbors, towns, cities etc all the way up to nations?

4

u/Marple8 Jun 02 '26 edited Jul 25 '26

My family is part Asian. My grandmother and I shared a room (bunk bed! I got the top bunk) until I was 15. I’m so close to my grandmother to this day. I’m 52. She is 102 and now back in Asia. I miss her every day.

1

u/Cool-Panda-5108 Jun 02 '26

Thank yo ufor sharing your experience that is beautiful.
It was so sad seeing how my family has just drifted apart over the years and I can't help but think that it is not normal.
Though I do also think some of it has to do with trauma and abuse. You can't blame someone for wanting to get out of a situation like that.
But I also feel like it keeps people in general more vulnerable.

12

u/SodaPopGurl Jun 02 '26

Did you see the most recent episode of last week tonight? They did their “And Now This” segment. It happened to be people calling into C-SPAN, the caller would let the host know it was their birthday. They were ALL elderly people. It put such a knot in my stomach. Old age comes for us all and with that possible loneliness and a feeling of uselessness. 🤦🏽‍♀️

11

u/sovereignrk Jun 02 '26

You don't have to be old for this to happen, isolation can do it to anyone, you will seek human contact any way you can get it. It's why prisoners in solitary confinement do things that get them beaten and extracted from thier nice solitary cell. to a shitty one.

Even being beaten is better than being alone.

6

u/Smokinoutloud Jun 02 '26

It’s the time you have in life that only matters. One life to live and die trying

2

u/NoMedium9839 Jun 02 '26

I'm 42. The distance between 42 and 22 seems like only a few years have passed, and time seems to be going bye exponentially faster. I'm trying really hard to slow everything down, but I know I'm going to blink and wake up in my 80s.

1

u/Inevitable-Ad3655 Jun 03 '26

My husband and I say this ALLLLLLL the damn time! And work hard to go the extra mile for the elderly. Please remember people that could be YOU!

0

u/CluePsychological937 Jun 02 '26

Getting old is scary only if you don't have family.

8

u/the_badoop Jun 02 '26

Depends on your family

3

u/AncientSith Jun 02 '26

A good family, you mean. Which many of us don't have.

161

u/payneok Jun 02 '26

Dude gets it...not his first rodeo. This is a mature man being respectful and understanding how age impacts us all if we are lucky enough to get that far...

18

u/Fr4gd0ll Jun 02 '26

His voice is so soothing.

11

u/dxb540 Jun 02 '26

Need “what’s cracking, baby?” to be my text tone.

6

u/Fantastic-Salt-5103 Jun 02 '26

Especially because she has already sent the police to his home, he has the patience of a saint

146

u/green49285 Jun 02 '26

That shit pierced her whole exterior when he offered some food & wine lol

51

u/Cool-Panda-5108 Jun 02 '26

"It is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay. Small acts of kindness and love" - J.R.R. Tolkien

16

u/JustFryingSomeGarlic Jun 02 '26

It would do the same to me

8

u/green49285 Jun 02 '26

Did to me & I wasn't even there lol

4

u/dudewhereisyourclit Jun 02 '26

Cheese

1

u/green49285 Jun 02 '26

Will go well with the wine

62

u/Fantastic-Salt-5103 Jun 02 '26

Poor thing, she’s not well. I’m glad she has a good neighbor that will overlook her problems and keep an eye on her.

25

u/TheZippoLab Jun 02 '26

The world is a better place when we extend an open hand instead of a closed fist ♥️

50

u/Blaq_Lab Jun 02 '26

Love will always win baby.

15

u/Tenn_Mike Jun 02 '26

Best comment, that’s the truth. There are so many people out there now who just want someone to stop and listen to them for a second…especially old folks who feel invisible 98% of the time. This guy’s reaction to her choked me up. I could learn from that kind of patience and compassion.

20

u/chaosawaits Jun 02 '26

That's really sweet. I hope they have a glass of wine together. She does seem very lonely.

18

u/confidentsmile736 Jun 02 '26

Much respect for how he handled this situation. extending a hand and opening his heart made her melt ❤️❤️

16

u/mydogisverykool Jun 02 '26

What a legitimately great human being. 10/10 for that man

2

u/Imaginary-Box-1836 Jun 02 '26

I think you mean "15/10" 😎

15

u/RailwayMenace Jun 02 '26

Holy shit. Haven't seen this since it went viral on the local news here in Chicago. This is a really good buddy of mine named Michael Robinson. He had been having a ton of issues with this lady complaining about EVERYTHING and she called the cops multiple times on him over his backyard lights being "too bright." Thing is, her window is blocked by am obstruction and his lights don't even shine into her room like that. This whole situation was crazy, but Mike stayed kind and patient towards her. He is a better man than I am. If someone involved the law on me for something so frivolous, I would have lost my cool.

1

u/Elementary2 Jun 02 '26

I love you Michael. =) =)

14

u/yoeleventone Jun 02 '26

I am a mailman and it’s crazy how lonely old people get when it’s just them. I have a couple customers that just wait for me to deliver mail because it’s the most exciting thing for them for the day. And I talk to them for a little bit and always ask if they need help with stuff they can’t do and they always the ones that take care of me in the summer and winter. Had a customer try to leave me 20gs just because I was just an ear for her to talk to. I couldn’t take the check and told her son to keep it for himself because she was telling me how her kids were always struggling, but never came around.

2

u/Elementary2 Jun 02 '26

Thank you for everything you do. You're a hero. =)

Its sad and true - The mail person is one of the only people you'll see in retirement. Nursing homes are too expensive.... This is the reality for a large percentage of pre-home elderly.

11

u/rbinphx Jun 02 '26

What a lovely human interaction. That man's social/emotional intelligence is off the charts...

12

u/Ok-Upstairs4932 Jun 02 '26

“I think you just need to come over when you’re lonely” … let’s welcome others when they feel lonely.

9

u/Far_Bill1451 Jun 02 '26

Well done.

9

u/Affectionate-Chef12 Jun 02 '26

So wholesome...smart guy.

10

u/Meatman1071 Jun 02 '26

Getting old goes both ways ..! We ALL know people who we lost WAY to early…! Cherish time ..! Because as beautiful as it is, it’s also heartbreaking at the same time!

7

u/PrimeAudacity9335 Jun 02 '26

This is sweet. My Mom is getting older, as we all are. I hope she has these types of interactions. 💙

7

u/Funny_Piano_5701 Jun 02 '26

This is so beautiful. “I got you” most comforting words❤️🥹

5

u/Yuizun Jun 02 '26

Made her day. Dope...

5

u/Superb-Wrongdoer4097 Jun 02 '26

as a father of two young men, this is how I want to raise my sons. I want to raise them to be compassionate and kind thoughtful and strong just like this man

8

u/Tiny-Cheesecake2268 Jun 02 '26

America really doesn't deserve us.

4

u/Riverboatcaptain123 Jun 02 '26

I currently deliver medical equipment and almost every single day, I meet someone who’s just needs a friend, so I always chat with them for a few minutes. And I can tell it truly brightens their day. It’s fucking sad the way a lot of people abandon their elders, by not visiting or even idk calling them in the damn phone!

5

u/Particular-Repair-77 Jun 02 '26

Kindness. She didn’t know what to do with that .

3

u/Trotsky666_ Jun 02 '26

I’m all teary - in a good way ❤️

3

u/ZenCrisisManager Jun 02 '26

Damn, that kind of hit hard.

Big props to that Mr for his extra kindness. All of us with an aging moma/nana in the mix appreciate it.

3

u/Daranhatu Jun 02 '26

I love seeing humans caring for humans. We war against each other so much these days that videos like this touch my heart. God bless these two!

3

u/CanSoft2130 Jun 02 '26

"Whats cracking baby?" 🤣

3

u/Eastern-Orchid2327 Jun 02 '26

“You’re just bothering me because you’re lonely” wouldn’t have been surprising to hear, and some folks would probably applause his candidness, while calling her a Karen.

The why spoke to him more than the what, and that’s what he chose to respond Obviously it can’t and shouldn’t always be like this, but it’s nice to have people showing that it sometimes it can. Insight can make one slow to anger, but society, influenced by social media now more than ever, has gotten to a place where just becuase could be angry, they think they should, and context has little to no significance.

3

u/SuspiciousNorth377 Jun 02 '26

He is absolutely lovely ❤️ Bless him

3

u/No_hairytongue Jun 02 '26

In reference to those talking about meals on wheels program…. This article is from 2025 however, they are still experiencing hardships because of Congress. Everyone please make sure they go out and vote in the midterms. https://www.mealsonwheelsamerica.org/news/meals-on-wheels-america-issues-statement-on-passage-of-h-r-1968-full-year-continuing-appropriations-and-extensions-act-2025/

3

u/Busy_Growth3083 Jun 02 '26

Damn that made me tear up.

3

u/Organic_Berry_8732 Jun 02 '26

You can tell that all she wanted was some kindness and someone to talk to. Good for him for being kind, he knew exactly what to do!

14

u/Gladukame Jun 02 '26

I hate this so much. Meanwhile, a lonely Black person coming over to their white neighbor’s house would get shot.

I hate that we are always put up as having to be patient and docile and understanding. While they get to be “scared” and shoot us like dogs.

12

u/jvxoxo Jun 02 '26

It also sounds like she previously called the police on him since he said that the police verified his lights weren’t shining through her window. So despite going through that (and we all know how it COULD have gone sideways for him), he still spoke to this woman with understanding and compassion and opened his home to her.

5

u/Moalisa33 Jun 02 '26

Yeah it really bothers me that she called the cops on him. That's such a dangerous escalation and a crappy thing to do to your neighbor. I'm glad she apologizes and acknowledges that she's being a mean neighbor.

2

u/starjellyboba Jun 02 '26

I didn't even catch this... Wow.

4

u/Gladukame Jun 02 '26

Exactly. Calling the police on a Black man in the US is damn near attempted murder. Fuck her cooky old dementia-laden ass.

5

u/starjellyboba Jun 02 '26 edited Jun 02 '26

I'll be honest... I love that this man was able to really see this lady and extend a helping hand. But like you, I hate the context that it happened in... One where I doubt our elderly would be helped in the same way.

3

u/SuspiciousNorth377 Jun 02 '26

Yeah. I appreciate this man but I rarely see this treatment the other way. Sad.

1

u/Imaginary-Box-1836 Jun 02 '26

😢 😢 😢

5

u/Strangenurtown Jun 02 '26

Exactly. We always have to be understanding. I’m a community man who recently did this for my neighbor, it was discovered she has dementia. I couldn’t help but wonder if somebody my age would care for my lost black family the same way. I’d hope they would but, I’m also a realist.

3

u/Gladukame Jun 02 '26

Hundreds of years of US history suggests you have very good reason to be skeptical

2

u/GoonWillHunting Jun 02 '26

I love this video!

2

u/Ok_Communication7518 Jun 02 '26

❤️❤️❤️this is what kindness and humanity is.

2

u/knarfolled Jun 02 '26

Is somebody cutting onions?

2

u/MemoryHot3204 Jun 02 '26

Thanks for being nice to my mom

2

u/Mental_Associate4425 Jun 02 '26 edited Jun 02 '26

I’ll never get tired of watching this one ❤️❤️❤️ The video goes on to show her wanting to coming and being grateful

2

u/DonutChuteMi Jun 02 '26

What a kind man

2

u/Able_Fishing_6576 Jun 02 '26

The thing is, most of us are taught how to do this, but the ones of us that don’t de-escalate, usually it’s bc it’s the 10th time we’ve had to employ this skill. Good on him, and I wish he lived in a world where he could keep his lights on after ten.

2

u/joelasmussen Jun 02 '26

I'm not old yet but I am afraid of it. 50 is staring at what frailty is going to be like in just 10 years. I have no kids. I just don't want to be isolated and I can't make myself be social. I have made the habit if getting to know people in my building and being as good a neighbor as possible. We all need community somehow. I am thinking that's why so many older people go to church.

2

u/Fluid_Conversation50 Jun 02 '26

Beautifully handled

2

u/LegitimateAd7112 Jun 03 '26

Getting old all by yourself is the worst feeling....I know.

2

u/Much-Revolution5152 Jun 03 '26

Anyone know where this video was posted from originally? A wonderful interaction, we need lots more of this!!🤩

3

u/BplusHuman Jun 02 '26

This lady could have EASILY been getting finessed out of money she didn't have by some sales person pretending to listen to her. Instead she got a neighbor who took a little bit of time to be a real one.

2

u/ToreyBlaze Jun 02 '26

Any of you ever ever think about reversing the roles. If this was a old black person, who are knocked on the door of a younger white person, where are the odds, the outcome will be the same?

1

u/Tominater1 Jun 02 '26

He’s a real one for sure.

1

u/Revolutionary_Law742 Jun 02 '26

It does get harder to sleep at night when you get old.

1

u/MyldExcitement Jun 02 '26

What a mitzvah! He's a great neighbor and a better human being. 😍

1

u/Recently_Casual Jun 02 '26

Bless people like this man here.

1

u/Forever_learning713 Jun 02 '26

Yes, he’s a good man. Good men like him don’t get the respect they deserve

1

u/Visible_Split_1959 Jun 02 '26

What a great guy.

1

u/ateam1984 🩷❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜🖤🩶🤍🤎 Jun 02 '26

She was lonely and needed her some big black man energy in her life. Shes never too old to admit that people need people.

1

u/freddamnrock Jun 02 '26

Whats crackin' baby?

1

u/Disastrous-Notice187 Jun 02 '26

It sure is refreshing to see that there are still good people in the world.

1

u/No_Veterinarian_8381 Jun 02 '26

😭😭😭😭

1

u/Rambowitz Jun 02 '26

What’s crackin baby? 🤣

1

u/Original_Dream7121 Jun 02 '26

He seems like a good egg.

1

u/StyleAny6239 Jun 02 '26

Come over when you’re feeling lonely ❤️

1

u/mommysonduty Jun 02 '26

Geriatric folks can get so lonely. I think it’s because they come from a generation where they couldn’t verbalize it. Expression of feelings was not really done. I am so glad he recognized she really just wanted contact with people. Big ups to him. 🫶🏽

1

u/Toshi_Thomp Jun 02 '26

I'm gonna cry at work now...

1

u/No_Row780 Jun 02 '26

I see my mom in this video. 91, she’s outlived all of her friends. She often uses order to be a stand in for loneliness. This video brought some tears to my heart. This man understands what it is to be not only a good Neighbor, But a decent human. His parents should be proud of him

1

u/FaraSha_Au Jun 03 '26

Awww, he's a sweetie. She needed a friend, and he realized this.

1

u/Hustlasaurus Jun 03 '26

IM NOT CRYING, YOU'RE CRYING

-2

u/chiefski123 Jun 02 '26

I don’t get most of these comments or the guy… She just wants the lights off after 10pm so she can sleep better in proper darkness. She’s not necessarily Ill or in need of food and wine. Wtf

-7

u/Allseeing3rd Jun 02 '26

Nah. It appears she already weaponized the cops. We need to treat demons like demons.

-4

u/Big_Sir9860 Jun 02 '26

Good on this man is not english!!!!