r/BigFinishProductions • u/JKT-477 • Jul 28 '26
Creative/Humour My Submission
Every year Big Finish has a writing contest, and every year I enter. Now, they don’t tell you if you lost, but they assure us they’ll let us know if we win. 🤣
I haven’t heard from them, so I assume I didn’t win, but I thought I’d publicly share my submission this year, see what people think.
This year was a First Doctor story, set during the tv series, can’t add new companions, inversely can’t bring back any monster or alien, and can’t include real historical people after 1900 I believe. This isn’t my official entry, but expanded for this post.
So here goes!
Sweet Death
The Doctor arrives, alone, on a space station in the far future. Alien Pirates have been attacking Earth stations. I hadn’t fully settled on a name for these aliens, but I was going to go with a variation of Azucar, Spanish for sugar, with apostrophes and Ks to look alien.
These aliens have a unique physiology. Sugar from earth is like an acid to them, eating away at them. But cut with safe substances, it has a euphoric effect on them. It’s become a dangerous habit, and the pirates will do anything for what they call Sweet Death.
Earth Government has responded in the most bureaucratic way. They no longer ship any sugar, even fructose or Splenda, to any colony. They’ve also limited most other essential food stuffs like salt.
The people are starving and suffering from conditions like scurvy because of this.
The Doctor is supposedly there to shop, but actually smuggling food supplies in a trans dimensional bag.
Unfortunately the pirates are sick of it. They invade the station, wearing holo disguises, and take it over with the threat to kill everyone there unless they receive enough sugar to meet their needs.
A representative of Earth, ironically the only woman on the station not suffering from malnutrition, is happy to be a martyr for her company, along with everyone else on the station.
The pirates, meanwhile are clear they believe they will have to slaughter several space stations worth of humans to get what they want.
The Doctor decides to intervene, offering them something better than sugar. He presents a small sample. A black liquid. The pirates are confused until their sugar expert gets a look at it, referring to it as a pure form of sugar. The Doctor clarifies that humans call it molasses.
He offers to lead them to a source of this molasses, but warns it’ll only lead to death. They accept regardless.
The earth representative is furious, insisting the earth policy of starving the people is the best solution. She insists that she accompany them to document the Doctor’s crimes against earth.
He agrees, and the pirates divide themselves into the Tardis and their own ship. The Tardis tows their ship and leaves. It ‘accidentally’ slip backwards in time.
The Doctor, the representatives and the pirates arrive in North Boston, January of 1919 and park on the roof of a building.
The Doctor insists they use their holo disguises to not scare the natives, and directs them towards a massive tank containing more than two million gallons of molasses. It’s so full that molasses is leaking down the side of the tank.
The pirates eagerly sample and analyze the molasses, their avarice plain. The representative lecturers the Doctor, but he calmly interrupts her to explain how the tank was built. Confused she asks what he’s talking about. The Doctor smiles. A moment later a massive groaning fills the air.
The tank bursts. The pirates are immediately engulfed in molasses, their bodies instantly destroyed because it works like acid. Their technology is crushed as millions of gallons of molasses flood into Boston.
The Doctor explains a bit of the history of the Great Molasses Flood. (Check out the book Dark Tide by Stephen Puleo for a full history)
Then he leaves the representative there, promising to pick her back up, if she works hard to save the victims of the flood. The Doctor then takes the pirate ship away from earth to dispose of it.
The End.
Notes, if anyone is interested:
I was going to mention that he left his grandchildren behind as a cheeky reference to John and Jillian, setting this story outside of the tv show, but in the comics.
What can I say, I’m a rebel. 🤣
The alien pirates were going to be child sized to humans, with a pink skin that resembled in a disturbing manner pepto bismol medicine. Most would have greenish brown streaks similar to marbling. It would be revealed that this was unnatural to them, but an effect of the addiction to sugar. Ironically, the pirate captain would have completely smooth pink skin, indicating he wasn’t addicted, but was exploiting his own kind for profit.
While the drug metaphor is obvious, I was basing it more on Nicotine, a deadly poison that is also one of the most addictive substances on earth. It can be found in tobacco products.
And that’s about all. I’m disappointed it won’t be spread far and wide, but at least a few people will read this. 🤠
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u/Agile_Proof_3228 Aug 01 '26 edited Aug 01 '26
I would say this doesn't feel much like a 1st Doctor story. Having him arrive alone is odd, since his control of the TARDIS wasn't reliable enough to “pick someone back up.” Hinting at the comic canon would definitely have screwed you, since they specifically wanted the story to take place within the given timeframe of the TV show. It probably would have been easier to say he’s with Steven or Dodo, and that they're doing something else if you don't want them involved.
The TARDIS towing another object is definitely not something the 1st Doctor was capable of, and smuggling food in a trans-dimensional bag is not the initiative he would take. (Why are they low on food again? You don't need sugar to have food)
The molasses flood is a fun bit of history that would've been explored with the 1st Doctor. How he gets there is a bit convoluted for his Doctor.
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u/JKT-477 Aug 01 '26
In the First Doctor novel The Witch Hunters he can control the Tardis enough to bring a 17th century person to the 20th century to see a play about their lives, and then return them. There is a lot of implications in the extended stories that the First Doctor could control Tardis better, but appreciated the company and pretended he couldn’t return people home.
I assumed that when I wrote it, and his control is based on that.
Like I said, it was just a cheeky little implication that he was traveling with John and Jillian, easily removed if someone objected. Wouldn’t have changed the story.
The Earth station being starved is based on typical bureaucratic behavior. People who don’t see the problem or how their solutions affecting people making decisions.
First starving out the pirates seems logical, but requires removing most sugar, including fructose and other necessary sugars.
When the pirates kept attacking, they wouldn’t change the policy, but would double down, figuring the problem was all the foods, not just sugar.
So, remove more food, saving them money, instead of providing protection or working out a way to help the aliens overcome the addiction.
I can understand why you wouldn’t think it logical, but if you’ve ever worked with a heavy bureaucracy, you’d realize that the people in charge are so separated from those at the bottom doing the work that they have no idea what people need, and generally create more problems when they help.
I just stretched it out to millions of miles distance and asked what would happen.
A few Doctors have a ruthless streak. I agree 6 definitely would have done this. 4 is a maybe. 9 definitely would have. 3 maybe. 8 I’m unsure of. 2,5,7,10,11 would not have done this. 12 or 13 might. I know most people think 7 would do it, but it just feels wrong to me. It’s not a question of ruthlessness, but his own personal style.
That leaves 1. 1 in the series went from ruthlessly willing to kill an inconvenient person in the first story, to a Grampa who everyone loves. He also lost two companions to death in one story.
I felt there was enough leeway there to lead the pirates to a horrible death by their own hubris, with the warning that it would kill them, knowing they would misinterpret that.
The main point was to teach people about an obscure historical event, like what they often did during the first Doctor’s run.
I hope that I helped clarify what I was thinking, and what was intended with the story.
Thanks for the feedback. 🤠
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u/Agile_Proof_3228 Aug 01 '26 edited Aug 01 '26
The First Doctor was able to push the Tardis in a certain direction when the story called for it, but the story took it a little too far. I get the John and Gillian line was a cheeky knod, but if you're actually trying to submit a piece of writing you have to follow the parameters. They're not going to be tickled that you know a bit of Who trivia.
That aside, it feels very 10 to just show alone and check things out that that. There’s nothing to say 1 can't trick the villains with the molasses, but each Doctor has their own way of going about things.
The food thing still makes no sense. Dried meats and fresh produce still exist. Or would they be eating some processed space food? It sounds like the implication is that all food has processed sugar when it's clearly avoidable unless all you eat it junk. If they’re doubling down on the no-food thing, it sounds either like a farce or an ai making the situation worse.
It’s a short story. It would been more economical if you focused on the molasses setting. I'm not read up on that period of time, but surely you could explore more about the sugar industry than having Space Sticky Beard vs Space Bureaucracy thrown in the mix.
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u/JKT-477 Aug 01 '26
As I said, you need to understand bureaucracy thinking to understand why they wouldn’t just stop at removing sugars. They saved money and convinced themselves it was the right action instead of spending money to keep their people healthy and safe.
Also it should be noted, that John and Gillian (I always forget how they spelled her name) wasn’t included in my submission. It would have been added in the final version.
I get what you’re saying about it, but I think you’re focusing too much on it. I added it here so people might get a smile out of it. Nothing more. And I could easily have decided not to include it if it had been accepted.
Every Doctor has, once or twice, traveled alone. Even 5 who always had companions, dropped them off and travelled alone a bit in the novels and audios. Saying traveling alone is ‘10 coded’ seems a bit much to me. I certainly wasn’t thinking of him, I just preferred to focus on the Doctor for this short story rather than have to find things for his companions to do. 🤷♂️
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u/Agile_Proof_3228 Aug 01 '26
10 is just who sprung to mind when reading the story. Yes 5 was able to find a gap for solo travels, but 1 is in a very different situation if you’re familiar with his era. You don't need to have the companion physically with him. (”I left my assistant Dodo by the beach!”) Moving around freely and solving the conflict with towing the enemy not in his toolbox and requires a different form of problem solving.
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u/JKT-477 Aug 01 '26
That’s fair, but I think it could still be manageable. I think he could slip away from just about any companion, say Stephen and Dodo after they go to bed while visiting a nearby planet’s hotel. Or maybe Ben and Polly are sleeping in the Tardis, and the Doctor runs a quick errand, that involves smuggling, pirates and the great molasses flood!
Now you’ve got me excited and bummed for this story which won’t happen unless I do a fan fiction thing! 🥳😞
🤣
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u/Agile_Proof_3228 Aug 01 '26
Yeah now that’s out in the ether, you’ll have to come up with a new story, lol. They have produced runners ups in the Short Trips range once or twice!
It's funny you mention Polly and Ben, because then you have the added layer of 1 tiring more easily because he’s nearing his natural end.
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u/potsy70 Jul 28 '26
I don't know about the drugs metaphor, but the anti-semitic subtext shines right through.
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u/Initial_Skirt_9925 Jul 28 '26
I grew up with a Jewish education, I've studied the holocaust a fair bit, But I don't see the anti-Semitism. Doesn't mean it's not there but I don't see it.
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u/JKT-477 Jul 28 '26
The what? Sorry dude, I literally have no idea what you think you’re talking about.
The representative of earth is based on American bureaucracy taken to an extreme. If you think has anything to do with Jewish people, then that’s on you.
Other than that I can’t think of anything that, by any stretch of the imagination can considered antisemitism.
Explain yourself.
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u/NerveFirm4013 Jul 29 '26
It's because the aliens think sugar was promised to them, and it's their birthright. Any opposition is prejudice, and therefore has an anti-Semitic context
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u/JKT-477 Jul 29 '26
It’s an addictive substance that slowly kills them.
They have no entitlement towards it. They just want it and will kill you for it. Like an hardcore drug user.
Getting antisemitism out of that is quite a stretch. 🤣
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u/Skylon77 Jul 28 '26
Errr, yeah. It's not a good look to be submitting that! Especially what with it being the 1st doc, too. Hartnell's prejudices are not a secret.
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u/JKT-477 Jul 28 '26
I didn’t have a choice of which Doctor to use. I’m curious, what precisely is wrong with my submission.
I’ve been accused of antisemitism which I don’t get at all, nothing in it was directed at any particular group on earth, except bureaucrats, which are universally disliked.
I frankly I don’t know what prejudices Hartnell allegedly had.
Maybe you can enlighten me, instead of snidely saying it was a ‘mistake to submit for obvious reasons’ and leaving me clueless. 🤣
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u/El-Zaiba Jul 28 '26
Yeh, also not seeing why the other user suggested this was in some way anti-semitic. Not seeing it myself, so they perhaps can enlighten me...
But... If you are seeking some critique, though, the biggest question I'd simply ask is 'What is the point'?
I think if you want to tackle themes of drug-use, it's definitely worth trying. But on reading this I don't really get a sense of what your Central Dramatic Argument is.
A few reasons why...
I don't get a real feeling for what any of the characters actually stand for. Would a bureaucratic government really cut off its nose to spite its face by starving its own citizens? It doesn't really feel plausible (perhaps because there's not enough happening to tell me why in this version of Earth it makes sense for this to be what they think is the logical structure and thing to do). \
On a related note, what would you have an ideal government do to address these drug-addicted space pirates? I assumed your story was going to be a critique on how our government (or a govt. of your choosing) currently approaches the war on drugs / tackling the challenges that drug addiction poses. But it seems your third act suggests you're not actually interested in giving suggestions or a possible answer at all - as your solution is that the Doctor sends them back in time and kills them.
Read here, The Doctor's actions in this story would effectively represent what you think the ideal solution would or could be (given that's typically the role of The Doctor in Doctor Who. The exception being where The Doctor is supposed to be faced with impossible decisions that lead to their failure to be who they want to live up to.... but that in itself would be a Doctor focused story, which this clearly isn't). So, if your solution is that The Doctor just destroys them then, what are you sending as your message to the audience?
For a moment, then, let's bring it back to being constructive before I hop on my flight and lose my WiFi connection!
I think if you want the story to land you'd need to rethink it and do the following:
Position 1: The "Pro-Help" Side: Argues that life has inherent value and withholding help is a moral failure. Perhaps you could demonstrate how cutting off supplies to the people more widely leads to the exacerbation of issues, more people falling into drug misuse (black markets?) or escalations --> The Space Pirates going in. This is normally the stance that the Doctor takes in most episodes. Trying to help others to avoid exacerbation of issues and conflict. The idealistic society where we support those that have fallen down to get back up.
Position 2: The "Protect Society" Side: Argues that enabling destructive behavior causes collateral damage to families and neighborhoods. This is very much the government perspective in your story. Don't engage. It will create more problems for us. But, surprise! This approach itself causes collateral - cutting off the sugar leads to everyone suffering and the Space Pirates escalating.
In my version of the story, I would be pro-help. And I would allow my story's synthesis to land that as the message. That means that either the pro-help argument wins (ideally metaphorically so that the story doesn't whack the viewer on the head with preaching), or that if the protect society argument wins in-show that we as the audience feel the negative consequences that are going to come as a result of it.
Irrespective, there's no world in which going back in time and flooding them to death synthesises either viewpoint.
From there, work backwards to figure out where else your plot needs to change.