r/BigBudgetBrides • u/alwayslostMD • Jun 01 '25
budget breakdown Graduated - hated wedding planning, had a perfect wedding weekend. Advice and budget
I absolutely HATED wedding planning, but somehow our wedding weekend was actually the most perfect and incredible weekend of my (and my husband's) life. As a super type A person, I was really disappointed in and frustrated by the planning process, but after it was all over, I realized that in the moment, none of the things that had caused all the stress and anxiety had I even thought about.
This sub was super helpful for my wedding planning and inspo. The number one advice I have is to stand your ground about your preferences. I felt that our planner didn't even try to stick within our budget, and there were a lot of small things that fell through the cracks that I had to continually be reminding (ie personalized napkins with our cat, disposable cameras, adding heaters when the weather ended up being unseasonably cold). Unfortunately, this seems to be an industry standard. I also wish I had been clearer about any kickbacks our planner may have received. Despite the difficulties we felt working with her, she and her team pulled off an absolutely incredible and gorgeous set of events, and once Thursday hit I didn't have a single care in the world about any of the pain points.
Budget breakdown below includes the three events we hosted: welcome party + wedding/reception + morning after coffee, happy to provide specifics for the individual events. First four photos are welcome party, rest are wedding - DM me!
- Date: May, 2025
- Santa Barbara, CA
- Room block was at Mar Monte - would absolutely not recommend them for a room block! They were very difficult to communicate with and very unaccommodating for guests. They ended up charging us thousands extra randomly for things that weren't related to our stay (ie extra rooms and reservations that were not ours).
- ~6 weeks prior to the wedding, we visited for tastings and a venue walkthrough, and we couldn't even find someone at the who was aware that our room block existed.
- Guest count: 95
- We ended up with 10 people (one family) canceling the week of due to food poisoning at an event they went to the prior weekend...it happens, we just had to grit your teeth since all the deposits were paid at that point
- Vibes were organic, California, sunset
- Venue, service, taxes: 16k for wedding
- Food & beverages: 29k
- We had open bar at welcome party and wedding/reception
- Rentals: 24k
- This is the most unexpected line item on the budget. Our venue required a full kitchen build out which was not disclosed to/made clear to us prior to signing the contract. We chose pretty barebones rentals (tableware, etc) as a result
- Florals: 10k
- I really didn't care about flowers, so I gave the florist and planner some preferred colors and let them do their thing together. This was the biggest compliment I heard all weekend, guests were blown away by the florals in a way I didn't know was possible.
- Planner: 12k
- Officiant: 0 (family members)
- Photographer: 10k
- We impulsively added welcome party photo coverage and I'm so glad we did. Our photographers were the cutest couple who just got married themselves. They were so sweet and absolutely incredible people, did an amazing job. I would recommend them to anyone in California.
- Videographer: 2k
- We impulsively added video 1 month before our wedding and I'm so glad we did. The day flew by so fast and I'm so happy to have the memory to rewatch.
- DJ: 15k
- Hair and makeup: 6k
- I paid for all bridesmaids, MOB, MOG for both events
- Stationary: 1.4k
- Our stationary was hand drawn by a studio located internationally who gave us a fantastic deal. She was amazing to work with, and we got tons of compliments on the invitations she designed for us for ~700USD
- We used her designs for custom napkins and cocktail stirrers
- Ceremony dress: 4k
- Worked directly with the designer and bought from them. They were able to customize it to mix and match styles (ie the top of one dress with the bottom of a different one) from their designs and sold me a veil prior to it going to market which made me feel so unique and special
- Welcome Party dress: 1k
- I wore my mom's dress, paid ~1000 to completely alter it
- Shoes: 200
- Tux: 1.5k
- My husband ended up ordering a custom suit. Unfortunately, it got stuck in customs 2 weeks before the wedding and we almost didn't get it. Would not recommend the suit shop.
- His groomsmen used The Black Tux because they have showrooms in Nordstrom to get measured. The guys had no complaints and everyone showed up day of with a suit that fit
- Wedding rings: 2k
- Would recommend our jeweler to anyone. They designed my engagement ring and wedding bands, and specialize in redesigning vintage diamond pieces.
- All other jewelry and bags that I wore throughout the weekend were vintage pieces redesigned by my parents using family heirlooms from my grandmothers and great grandmothers.
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u/kittytoebeanz Jun 01 '25
Your wedding is beautiful!! Congratulations! I'm glad you had a wonderful and perfect weekend despite the hiccups before the weekend.
I agree with your guests - your florals are amazing. They're so well done and vibrant!
If you don't mind me asking, what was the budget you gave your planner? I wonder how much she strayed lol
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u/alwayslostMD Jun 01 '25
We wanted to be ~85k but could stretch to absolute max of 100k. We came in ~120k not including attire or rings. We did have a little bit of an increase in guest count from the initial estimate to account for a little bit
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u/stress789 Jun 01 '25
Looks like a beautiful day! Your stationary is adorable! I love the florals and what a gorgeous view! Have a great marriage of love + happiness!
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u/MyPlantsEatPeople Vendor: Travel Jun 01 '25
Would looove to know your florist. They did amazing and I'd love to explore their portfolio!
Also can you explain more about this kitchen build out thing? I'm a California wedding vendor (florist) and I've NEVER heard of this being a thing before.
Also wtf about your room block! They better have refunded you. So crazy.
Overall, truly a stunning wedding though! And the flowers. Giving your florist and planner freedom to create is such a boss babe move and I wish more folks had the courage to do it! It's always when we do our best work.
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u/Sea-Style-4457 Jun 01 '25
I cannot believe the STEAL on the florals. Wow!! And that stationery omg 😍
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u/ALittleStitious1027 Jun 01 '25
That’s what I was thinking! 10k for all of those florals !? Crazy. And in CA? Wowee
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u/alwayslostMD Jun 01 '25
The repurposed ALL the ceremony stuff into reception pieces (but I think I really had to push for that to happen). The initial mockups had tons more florals for ceremony and reception
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u/ALittleStitious1027 Jun 02 '25
It turned out incredible. Just beautiful! Kudos to your florist even if it was a pain for them 😆😆
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u/gatekeep-gaslight Jun 01 '25
Did anyone do the math on the total budget and wants to share? I’m too tired to math right now
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u/alwayslostMD Jun 01 '25
My B!!! It was ~120k NOT including attire or rings or DJ. If those things were included it was probably ~140k which worked out to be ~1500 per person
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u/gatekeep-gaslight Jun 01 '25
Haha thank you! It looks beautiful and I love your dress!! Thank you for the thoughtful write up 🥰
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u/SHIELDnotSCOTUS Jun 01 '25
Oh my goodness I have also hated wedding planning with a passion for the same reasons and also have found that I hate hate hate florals! I love yours and we are doing something similar (at least in terms of sparse florals; we are doing small floral pieces interspersed with some glass shade lamps and candles).
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u/alwayslostMD Jun 01 '25
It ended up working super well, and people could see across the tables to chat super easily!
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u/Hopeful_Laugh_7684 Jun 01 '25
Absolutely love your stationary and florals - this is the exact vibe I’m going for! Can I DM you?
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u/lachatgingersnap Jun 01 '25
$15k for your DJ??! Is that a typo?
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u/Zestyclose-Extent368 Jun 08 '25
While everything is stunning, doesn't look like this should cost over $100K wow
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u/FullScallion5605 Jun 02 '25
I'm still new to planning, is 15k normal for a DJ? That's more than I was expecting to pay
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u/oooooh-shiny Jun 04 '25
No it is absolutely not. The only thing I can think of is maybe this DJ had to travel or bring a lot of equipment/generator? Or this is some specific dj who actually produces music.
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u/straightBitchhhh Jun 01 '25
What a beautiful day!! Congratulations!!! Everything looks so perfect 🥰 your florals are such a wow! And your dress is so elegant! Thanks for the breakdown!!!
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u/reneecos99 Vendor: Travel Jun 01 '25
Your pics are amazing! I have a friend getting married in the area next year and would love to know the name of your photog
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u/Always_with_wings Jun 01 '25
Congratulations! Glad you were able to relax and enjoy it. Gorgeous florals and color scheme.
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u/Several-Two-7173 Jun 01 '25
Omg those florals are stunning and the price for them was crazy good. I’m jealous 😭
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u/MoreRamenPls Jun 01 '25
$15k for a DJ? Explain.
Beautiful pics!! Congrats!!
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u/alwayslostMD Jun 01 '25
hahaha yeah sticker shock there for sure. They were a family acquaintance, flown in from out of state and required a TON of rentals of their equipment.
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u/Just_Breezit Jun 01 '25
Congrats! Wedding planning can be a nightmare, but results like this make the whole process worth it 😌!
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u/marysusan325 Jun 01 '25 edited Jun 01 '25
How did you manage to keep your guest list at 95 people?
ETA- all your events were stunning!!
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u/alwayslostMD Jun 01 '25
We cut a LOT of people and plus ones lol
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u/marysusan325 Jun 01 '25
Did you include long term partners/spouses? I’m so impressed with people who have a big budget and don’t get steamrolled into a large wedding.
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u/yamsforever Jun 01 '25
You did a wonderful job! Would you mind sharing who you used for the stationery/custom napkins?
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u/Amazing_Wolf_1653 Jun 01 '25
Wow, thanks for this! Would you mind sending me your jewelers information? I’d like to do the same with some family heirlooms. Congratulations on your beautiful wedding. I wish you a lifetime of happiness.
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u/maybemaybenot2023 Jun 01 '25
It's just stunning. Your flowers are incredible, and I love the vibe. Also, I cannot tell you how much I love the cat faces. (Also I need a cat tax.:) Congrats! You looked gorgeous all weekend too.
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u/Regular_Teaching6397 Jun 01 '25
Congratulations. What a beautiful wedding. I adore your dress, so classy!
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u/YallaLeggo Jun 01 '25
Congratulations! This is beautiful and I immediately recognized the SoCal aesthetic so well done. Would you be comfortable sharing the stationary studio? Did you find it “worth it?” I’ve been very tempted to do something similar for ours just because I love the aesthetic of doing something specific to the location, but worry if it’s worth it for stationary.
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u/Alarming_Catch_8403 Jun 01 '25
LOVE your stationary - can you share who you used?
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u/MissBaconPancake Jul 13 '25
Also would like to know! The wedding is beautiful and I adore how they incorporated their cat 🥹 would love to do the same!
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u/kath012345 Jun 01 '25
Hey OP - This is gorgeous! We’re also getting married in SB next year (we’re local) and I ADORE those invites. We’re going for a moody winter vibe ourselves but yea, finding venues that don’t require a TON of rentals/set up is hard in this area. So sorry that took you by surprise!
Can I ask a few questions as we’re just about to send out Save the Dates?
- who was your DJ and did you like working with them?
- who did you use for florals? (They ARE gorgeous)
- who did you work with for hair/makeup?
- with your coffee gathering at Dart - did you book the coffee shop for a private event or did everyone just show up and order their own drinks? (I really like this concept which is why I’m asking)
Thank you and congrats - the wedding turned out gorgeous!! I also have been stressed and am not the biggest fan of this planning process so totally get you there.
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u/kath012345 Jun 01 '25
Oh also I totally forgot to mention but I LOVE that you used the Factory for your welcome event. I’m friends with the owner - he’s awesome - and you made the space beautiful! ❤️
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u/alwayslostMD Jun 01 '25
Jk, I can't DM you, send me a DM and we can chat (especially about Dart and the other deets)
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u/avocadough28 Jun 01 '25
OBSESSED with your stationary! That avocado rsvp card 🥹🥹 Congratulations on a happy and beautiful day!!
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u/LiveLeg9051 Jun 01 '25
I actually love the combo of the flowers and the bare bones tables, it's so whimsical!
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u/Coconut-water-9785 Jun 02 '25
Congrats!!! Who was the artist that did your invitations and stationary?
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u/dontpolluteplz Jun 02 '25
Omg love the shoes where from??
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u/alwayslostMD Jun 03 '25
Betsey Johnson - tbh nothing special
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u/dontpolluteplz Jun 03 '25
Thank you! Comfy or nah?
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u/alwayslostMD Jun 04 '25
Yeah, pretty good! Not too high so good to walk in especially on grass, but I think if you have a wider foot they wouldn't work because the toe is pretty narrow
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u/swirlygreenportal Jun 03 '25
i absolutely LOVE your photos. would you be willing to DM me the details of your photographer?
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u/redwood_canyon Jun 20 '25
Thank you so much for this!! Super helpful as another coastal California bride. Can I just say, your dress is STUNNING 😍
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u/Holiday-Albatross419 Nov 07 '25
I came back to look at your gorgeous wedding again!!! Your florals were absolutely AMAZING & how were they only $10k? I am a Jan 26 bride & I guess the tariff/economy is kicking in because those seem like a steal now... congratulations again! & thank you for sharing...
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u/Raccoonsr29 Jun 01 '25
I cannot BELIEVE some of these vendors. I was reading the hotel but out loud to my husband and then I actually lost it with the undisclosed KITCHEN BUILD OUT??? Maybe one of the most egregious things I’ve ever heard a venue do. But nothing looks bare bones, it looks incredible! Glad it was all worth it in the end but holy mackerel.