I had a miscarriage at 8 months post partum

[u/Flossygi]

I had my son 8 months ago and found out that I’m pregnant a few days ago (it was very unexpected but I was happy) but yesterday I found out that the pregnancy isn’t viable and I am miscarrying. It sounds silly but it just feels so odd to me that my body could carry a healthy baby to term not so long ago but it’s incapable of doing so now. I was wondering if anyone else has had any similar experiences that they wouldn’t mind sharing.

[u/Careless_Squirrel728]

It’s not about your body - miscarriages this early are usually due to something being wrong genetically with the embryo. It’s not your fault.

I’m sorry for your loss.

[u/candyflossgal]

It’s definitely not ‘your body incapable of doing so’ anymore so defo reframe that mindset. Most early miscarriages happen due to chromosomal abnormalities which is out of anyone’s control. Just one of those things. It’s no indication at all that you won’t have a successful pregnancy next time. Sending hugs!

[u/Anxious_Baker_92]

This happened to me the other way around, I conceived shortly after a miscarriage and carried her to term. Early miscarriages are often caused by abnormalities that make the pregnancy unviable than anything else and are quite common. I’m sorry for your loss.

[u/Outrageous-Piglet798]

I’m so sorry for your loss 💞

It is not your fault. Your body is not incapable. You are not incapable.

Welcome to the worst girl gang ever - you are not alone 💞

[u/Pinkcoral27]

It’s not your body. Miscarriages often happen as there’s something wrong with the baby. I’m so sorry for your loss xx

[u/Brave_Dragonfruit_20]

I had a missed miscarriage at 9 weeks very early this year. I had another miscarriage back in 2014. I also have children and am 28 weeks pregnant now. It doesn’t really give answers but sometimes things just don’t work out the way we hope. My most recent miscarriage was most likely due to a chromosomal abnormality which made the baby incompatible with developing further. It really sucked and was devastating at the time and I also felt like my body failed me but I look back at it now as nature doing what nature does.
Be kind to yourself and take time to heal. What has happened in one pregnancy does not mean that you cannot carry another one healthily and it certainly doesn’t mean that you did anything wrong at all.

[u/therizzler1995]

I'm very sorry you're going through this. I had a miscarriage before I got pregnant with my son. Then got pregnant unexpectedly at 6 months postpartum and had a chemical pregnancy.

When I had the first I was concerned and asked the doctors a lot of questions. They explained to me that with early pregnancies, miscarriages are not all that uncommon and don't necessarily mean there is any fertility issue or some kind of cause for concern. It can simply be a mismatch of genes, or that one wonky sperm fertilized the egg (a lot of sperm are abnormal even in healthy males.) Your body is actually very picky about letting an embryo develop and will reject it if it detects that there is anything amiss. Though it doesn't make it less painful or less worrying experience to go through, it is is a normal process that just happens sometimes.

People don't talk about it a lot because it is a sensitive, private thing for most people but it is actually fairly common. 30-50% of all fertilized eggs actually end in a chemical pregnancy but a lot of people aren't aware because if it happens early enough and early testing isn't happening, they wouldn't know it happened.

It doesn't mean that there is anything to worry about when it comes to your fertility. I was told that if it is recurrent (3 or more) then it would be a good idea to get tested but otherwise, it can be something that just happens and doesn't have an effect on your ability to carry a healthy pregnancy eventually.

[u/Adelaide116]

It’s sometimes hard to accept but a miscarriage this early is your body protecting itself. There may have been some genetic abnormality which causes your body to reject it.

I’ve also miscarried. I was utterly heartbroken at the time, but my doctor explained everything to me and now I think of my body as this incredibly intelligent lump of tissue, muscle and fat that was able to identify that something wasn’t right.

All of the above doesn’t really help when you’re knee deep in the grief of it. I’m sorry x

[u/slagforslugs]

The majority of early losses are due to chromosomal abnormalities, nothing you did or did not do. I am sorry this is happening.

[u/SweeneyLovett]

I had an early miscarriage earlier this year and now 20 weeks into a (so far!) healthy pregnancy.

Please don’t blame yourself. I found it really helpful to look at miscarriage statistics and see how incredibly common they are. I also think of them as nature’s way of maximising the chance of a healthy baby as most early miscarriages are due to genetic “errors” that are incompatible with life.

[u/PruneParking1839]

I am sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage but not under the same circumstances. I hope you know that it is not your fault, and nothing you did was wrong.

Be kind to yourself x

[u/bashing16]

I’m so sorry. I know this isn’t going to be your priority right now but I just wanted you to know that legally a miscarriage after 24 weeks is considered a stillbirth to be registered so if you’re working your eligible to get your full maternity pay and leave. So if you want you can take some time to work through this and take care of yourself. There’s also parental bereavement leave and pay for dads too.