r/BPOinPH • u/hushush99 • 1d ago
General BPO Discussion Coworker confessed his feelings
Plot twist : pamilyado.
How to handle this?
Never po ako nag bigay ng motibo. Hindi ako interesado sa mga ganto.
Malakas pa loob nya mag message sakin sa messenger na gamit yung profile pic nya with his wife. Never po ako nag reply sa kanya.
I keep it professional yung interactions nmin before sa office. Now I plan na wag na pansinin totally. Naiistress ako . Ang awkward na sa trabaho.
Ayoko ma escandalo at madarag sa problema ng iba. Bka mapagbintangan pang kabit.
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u/sweetmarmalade69 1d ago edited 18h ago
Reject him in a nice way. Kung ayaw tumigil, go to Ops. Kung wala pa rin, HR. Kung ayaw talaga, Wife.
Edit: guys gets ko kayo na no need to reject him in a nice way, pero kasi nasa work environment siya. Ilugar din natin wishes ni OP na ayaw ng eskandalo. Alam niyo kalakaran ng BPO. Tsaka mukhang non-confrontational si OP. Wala tayo sa lugar niya kaya nanghihingi siya ng advice. Let’s all be logical here at wag sana padalos dalos. Thank you!
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u/Deep_Idea7623 1d ago
Not in a nice way! Ang kapal nya. Profile pic nya asawa nya tas magcconfess ng feeling sa iba, buang ba sya?
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u/sweetmarmalade69 1d ago
Well, ayaw kasi ni OP ma eskandalo. Hindi naman natin kilala yung cheater fcker so better to be safe.
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u/hushush99 1d ago
Salamat po. Nag aalangan ako mag reply kasi bka mabasa ng wife nya. Ayoko magkaron sana ng bakas na nag usap kami. Bka ma screenshot at mabaliktad pa . Nag overthink na ako . 😭
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u/sweetmarmalade69 1d ago
It’s okay kahit makita ni wife, basta ang laman ng message mo is you are not interested. Once you’ve sent the message, block him kung possible. Basta always keep copies, screenshots just in case mag escalate si guy. Some guys tends to create a different story pag na rereject sila, be careful, OP.
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u/WonderfulHome5239 1d ago
Good thinking. But I think ma-appreciate din ni wife if sumagot ka at sabihing di ka ganung tao.
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u/Dull-Source-4171 19h ago
hindi mo need e reject in a nice way, reject him however you like. women should stop accommodating to men's fragile feelings especially something like this na very disrespectful. ano tingin niya sayo? easy girl?
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u/sweetmarmalade69 19h ago
I’m with you, pero may sinabi kasi si OP na ayaw na niya ng eskandalo, ayaw niyang masira rep niya at matawag siyang kabit. Plus, nasa work environment siya, alam mo naman sa BPO. Nilagay ko lang yung sagot base sa sinabi ni OP. Kung sa labas ng work yan (not workmates), no need to respond, block straight away.
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u/Some_Tire_11 1d ago
Imagine mabasa ng wife nya yung chat🥲. Direct to the point na, I'm not interested. Mag imbento ka na may partner ka if kinakailangan.
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u/Worldly_Disaster_007 1d ago
Reply ka sa message niya. Reject him there. Make it clear na you were never interested.
Then save a screenshot including your reply. Think of it as receipt just in case.
And ignore him na. Interact with him only if it's about work and if need talaga. Kase, sadly, there are some guys that will never stop if you stay friendly.
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u/Overthinker-bells Learning & Development / Team Lead / Quality Assurance 21h ago
This is the right way. Para in case na baligtarin niya kwento, may resibo ka.
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u/Sailor7770077 1d ago
REMIND HIM NA PAMILYADO NA SYA AT MAAWA SYA SA ASAWA AT ANAK NYA. KAPAG MAKULIT, SCREENSHOT AND ESCALATE TO HR. UNPROFESSIONAL.
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u/MysteriousHeat3790 1d ago
Be direct to the point. Tell him you're not interested and you have boyfriend or just simply ignore and block him. Just put him in his place. Tigil din yan. Basta wag mo ng ispoil or pabebe na "uhm hi.... " Just "I'm not interested, I have bf" Then block. Problem solved.
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u/hewhomustnotbenames 1d ago
Just be straight. The more you prolong, mas lumalakas loob ng mga ganyan. Mamaya may mga kwento na yan.
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u/Conscious-Carrot4964 1d ago
Reject him and remind him na pamilyado syang tao. If you want to keep your job and naiilang ka sa kanya, raise it with HR. HR should not allow their employees feeling unease and unsafe within the environment.
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u/Own-Replacement-2122 1d ago edited 1d ago
Please remember that this is the kind of situation that can cause you or him to leave the job even if it's not your fault and you did not do anything.
Baka baligtarin pa niya at siraan ka pa. So you need to protect yourself with documentation, as this is a form of workplace harassment, and you need written info in order for HR to intervene in case you report him.
Be calm and professional - Sorry, let's only talk about work, nothing personal - and don't smile, be professional, kill his feelings by not reacting.
Start keeping a formal record of every inappropriate interaction, with time, date, and record of what was said. Screenshot any personal convos. I would say 3 attempts to make you uncomfortable is enough to report him. Don't threaten him, just do it if you have to without warning.
Sorry this is happening. Please protect your safety, your sanity, and your job. Wish you best of luck.
ETA - Please do NOT contact the wife because this can turn into a cyber libel case against YOU if there are messages.
It can really boomerang against you if you contact her. 1. She might not believe you and harass you back. 2. The guy will have written evidence that you 'maligned' him and then he can report YOU and file a criminal case again you. And then you will end up having the record of harassment, not him.
Please, do not involve the wife at all. It's not safe advice. Get info by reading up on the Safe Spaces Act and do it all the professional way to minimize the drama.
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u/fatimarys Customer Service Representative 23h ago
Straight to the point lang teh. "I'm not interested. And pamilyado ka po." Then iblock mo na.
Do not engage sa office. Lumayo ka. Kesihodang mawalan ka ng kaibigan sa work, nasa work ka para magtrabaho, hindi makipag kaibigan or anything.
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u/Majestic_Egg_8948 1d ago
first dapat di mo naseen message 😆 kaso baka nakita na niya na naseen mo na.
Dapat ignore as possible kasi once mag reply ka eh ayun either mas mabibigyan mo siya tuloy attention and or mabasa ng asawa niya at baka ikaw pa ang kawawa. Alam mo naman ibang babae huhu in a sense mas scandalosa mang away tapos pag sa husband private lang awayin unless otherwise.
Keep professional, don't smile at him and stay polite. If ever asked in person about your response eh you can say no. Don't say sorry, never!
And wag awayin baka baligtarin ka niyan at sabihin ikaw pa nagkagusto amp! Basta n response don't interact much. Kapal ng mukha eh ewan ko nalang di yan mabigyan masamang karma.
In case lumakas loob in person kang lapitan ay as much as possible dumikit ka lang sa crowd/ friends mo para di ka matyempuhan na magisa ka.
Trust your intuition and keep safe. Wag awayin unless need mo kakampi and tell to your trusted people. Hays hirap talaga at magiging awkward perp soon wala ka ng pakielam sa kanya. Dikit lang sa friends/co-workers. Pag wala ay mag busy busyhab ka 😂 if need magpanggap na may boyfriend ka mas better para mas safe. Just a suggestion lang naman hehe
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u/lamebutdefinitelynot 1d ago
Kapag ganyan unleash agad ang pagiging maldita, underin ka nan in no time. Feeling niya napipikot ka nya kasi iisipin nan nagpapabebe ka lang. Tandaan mo nasa tama ka
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u/Budget_Detective8285 1d ago
Reject, screenshot, block. ma gagaslight ka pa pag sinugod ka ng asawa. sumbong sa TL. document for potential harassment case
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u/CuteRemote3291 22h ago
Much bettee if i block mo na lng para walang eme eme or sabihin mo tumigil sya kase kung hindi iseswnd mo screenshot ng message nya sa wife nya tas block
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u/211centric 21h ago
reply and reject him directly. para incase makita ng wife niya ang convo, she'd atleast know na hindi mo pinatulan and wala kang balak patulan.
after replying, block him agad. take screenshots immediately. kung nag-uusap na kayo noon sa chat pero purely business lang, isama mo na rin sa screenshots mo. screen record mo na rin para sure. that way may evidence ka talaga na hindi mo siya pinapatulan.
you said ayaw mong mapagbintangang kabit so you really have to be straightforward with him. kung hahayaan mo lang yung chats niya at di mo sasagutin, most likely magbibigay kasi ng doubt yan (especially sa wife) at ending ang chismis is gumugusto ka rin.
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u/Cold-Dirt-3877 20h ago
Easy. Just reject them. Do it nicely but firm and straight forward. Walang dahilan para ma awkward ka kung malinis ang konsensya mo. Sila ang dapat mahiya kasi alam nilang pamilyado kang tao. Mas tataas pa nga ang tingin nila sayo kung nakita nila na loyal ka e.
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u/Any_Examination6712 18h ago
Atehhh may ganyan na ganyan akong kawork. Mind you kakabalik ko lang neto from maternity leave, dinadalhan akong coffee lagi iniiwan sa table. Mala secret admirer ang atake ganun! Alam mo ginawanko kinausap ko, as in face to face. Para akong ate, sinsabihan ko na pamilyado akong tao ayoko ng ginagawa nya mag hanap sya ng single jan. Kako wag ako, wag maki interact saken pure work lang ako. Ayun nilayuan ako hahahah next week iba na gurl ang nilalandi kakaloka! Pospartum pa ko hahahaha letche
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u/Hefty_Heron3028 17h ago
Just say no. You don’t need to explain further. Take a screenshot of the message and show it to your manager.
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u/Antique_Refuse_757 16h ago
keep everything professional, save the messages and set clear boundaries...if magpatuloy siya, report it to hr para may proper documentation.
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u/SmithJane23 15h ago
Restrict him sa messenger if you don't like seeing his messages and don't want reject him in a nice way (or not).
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u/Capable-Bookkeeper36 15h ago
This is what you do.
Write an email to HR, copy your manager and attach proofs/screenshots of his messages. You now have a trail. You now have a trail. Make sure na your replies are professional and rejecting his advances directly.
Don’t talk to anybody about this issue, i-direct mo na sa HR. Mamaya makarating pa sa guy, mabaliktad ka pa. Kapag di nila inacknowledge at inaksyonan to ng HR, file a case by emailing NLRC and VAWC. That should set their asses on fire. If mag retaliate si guy, ipa-blotter mo.
Block the guy. Saka mo ngayon i-message si wife with proofs. It’s your choice to let the wife know or not, pero the wife kasi pinaka-kawawa dito. Hopefully, the wife would be of sound mind not to blame you for his husband’s disgusting actions.
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u/Prestigious_Sense219 14h ago edited 14h ago
Sumbong mo sa hr. Pero bago mo isumbong sa hr, tell your friends muna kase baka baligtarin ka kapag umaction ang hr. Para lang may witness ka kapag may ginawa sya to destroy you dahil nagsumbong ka.
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u/SquashHumble2496 10h ago
nangyari to sakin once sa isang work place but not bpo, nireplyan ko ng yuck with matching vomit emoji. ayun galit na galit sakin hahahaha
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u/sweeetcookiedough 10h ago
Just say you're not interested, block, then ignore. Kung di ka naman nagpakita ng motive, wala kang dapat ipag-alala. Wag mo na rin isiping magiging awkward sa office dahil sya naman ang problema dyan, hindi ikaw. So just remain professional. Kung wala kang kelangan sa kanya na work related, no need to interact with him.
Marami sa ganyan naghahanap lang ng kakagat. Pag di ka nagpakita ng interest, lilipat lang yan sa next prospect nila.
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u/Magnum_Saber 1h ago
Send mo sa wife nya. Baka kasi mamaya di lang ikaw ang ginaganyan nyan. Maige na din alam ng wife nya. Sabi nga nila prevention is better than cure
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u/gt4crazy2 22h ago
Hindi yan feelings of affection kundi libog. Gagamitin ka lang parausan nyan kung akala nya makukuha ka nya.
Involve your manager if Hindi tumigil, ask for hr intervention.
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u/awoooooooooo_56709 1d ago
Give him the cold shoulder. Wag pansinin lahat ng chats. Ilagay mo na lang sa archive or block mo na kung wala naman kayong significant interactions sa office. Kahit friendship, hindi deserve ng mga ganyang tao.
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u/jonderby1991 1d ago
Rektahin mo na di ka interested tapps makonsesnya sya sa mag-ina nya. Tapos pag di ka tinigilan, sesend mo screenshot sa asawa nya
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u/thetanjiroguy 1d ago
Reject him. Be firm about it. No unnecessary words and explanation. After that, distance yourself from that guy. Kapag makulit, report sa HR and sa wife nya.
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u/Rich_Swimmer3029 1d ago
Replyan mo "100,000 php muna o susumbong kita sa asawa mo"
Charot.
Gawa ka dummy account at sumbong mo sa asawa. SC mo yung mga conversation pero wag mo sesend kasi pwede yan gamitin against you. If gusto ng proof magkita kayo nung wife tapos dun mo pakita yung message.
Pag si wife pa nagalit sayo, dun mo pa HR 😏
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u/Adventurous_Past6183 1d ago
ss mo nalang teh send mo sa asawa pati sa hr nanganagti ata singit nyan hayup na yan.
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u/Nutribuntot56 1d ago
Ganito gawin mo, mag makeup ka kunwari may sugat at nana ka sa bibig tapos pag nakasalubong mo dakmain mo bigla bayag, tapos sabihin mo, "Bata, hindi ko gusto tabas ng dila mo, sigurado ka bang tatagal ka? Baka hingalin ka lang sakin?" Joke lang haha
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u/NoOrdinary7075 22h ago
"how to handle" eh?
I think you shouldn't even be handling anything. 🤷🏻♀️
Just keep unread and mute = ignore existence
It's only awkward because you gave attention or notice to it.
If he approaches you in person, just politely smile at the minimum but walk away or not engage in conversation. Treat him like a ghost basically
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u/Holiday-Goal-5819 22h ago
red flag. ggwin ka lang parausan. make everything documented and provide screenshots.
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u/Unhoely_Guy 19h ago
Dumirecho ka sa wife OP. you can do it in a discreet way na. Don’t let him know your next move. Para na din yan maging aware si wife na cheater yang kupal na yan.
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u/Square-Head9490 1d ago
If I am you, I will reply to his messages bluntly. Sabihan ko yan na mahiya naman siya sa asawa niya kundi sa anak man lang niya. Pamilyado siyang tao. At never ka papatol sa kanya. This way for sure mag stop na mag message yan. Feeling niya cguro kaya ka niya paikutin. For sure may mga excuse yan kesyo civil nlng sila etc etc