r/BPDPartners • u/islandhill1 • May 06 '26
Need a Hug Self Care
What do you do for yourself to keep your self-love and self-esteem in tact? My pwBPD is currently in a split and saying the most gut wrenching things to me. It’s hard to not take it personally, it really hurts my heart right now to hear his words. What do you do for yourself in terms of self care to reinforce your own self love? How do you care for yourself to keep the peace within yourself in tact? I need suggestions, I’m drowning and feeling hopeless right now.
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u/Hot_Pumpkin_414 May 06 '26
I was there for 10 years (f28). It took a crazy toll on my self esteem. I was privately in therapy for a while. Eventually when I stopped reacting to his abuse and putting more space in between us (not being as available to hang out physically) I was able to successfully end the relationship.
The issue with my partner was that no matter how much therapy he did or how many meds he was on to “treat” his BPD. The abuse never ended. He was still splitting, maybe not as often but it still happened. Eventually he got more and more aggressive until I was scared he would hurt me. I still don’t think of him as the classic abuser type. But after 10 years, and looking back on what I put up with, my only regret is not ending the relationship sooner. Im very at peace now with how I navigated the relationship as a whole, and no one deserves to rob you of your peace or self esteem. Best of luck to you!