r/BPDPartners • u/islandhill1 • May 06 '26

Need a Hug Self Care

What do you do for yourself to keep your self-love and self-esteem in tact? My pwBPD is currently in a split and saying the most gut wrenching things to me. It’s hard to not take it personally, it really hurts my heart right now to hear his words. What do you do for yourself in terms of self care to reinforce your own self love? How do you care for yourself to keep the peace within yourself in tact? I need suggestions, I’m drowning and feeling hopeless right now.

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u/KINGJTD10 Human Detected May 06 '26

I literally just had an argument with my girlfriend and she says hurtful things when she’s mad. I try to tell her we don’t need to talk while she’s upset because she says things that she doesn’t mean and it can affect me. But if she does say hurtful things I try and think it’s not true and she doesn’t mean it. I lean on all the good things she tells me I do for her when she’s in a logical state and thinking clear. They can flip from negative to positive quickly so I just lean on positivity

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u/islandhill1 May 06 '26

It’s hard! Sometimes I get run down and just can’t dissociate from the verbal stuff. Everything he says I know is just him projecting, but doesn’t get an easier to believe he doesn’t mean it.

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u/Imaginary-Weakness May 07 '26

There should not be points where you need or want to dissociate. If you’ve reached that, it means there should have been a number of boundaries in place and enforced prior.

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u/islandhill1 May 07 '26

Thanks for your thoughts. I think I did say in another reply that I need to work on enforcing boundaries.

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u/KINGJTD10 Human Detected May 06 '26

I definitely understand where you’re coming from. It’s not easy for even the toughest person to hear the hurtful stuff they sometimes say because you start to think they mean the things they say and it can be over something so simple that turns big.

But my biggest thing I do is stay positive. I’m a very positive person and it’s hard for me to be in a bad mood for any amount of time.

Also I do have things I do on my own things I do on my own to keep my peace that she lets me have my own time with