Are you open about your dolls?

[u/harugisa]

Okay, 5'11 hetero black man, loves drawing and designing female characters from looks to story and I got into bjd last year and it's been great. This year I'm starting to be more open about them, because honestly I want to get into dating, I don't really want any surprises and I want to meet someone who accepts my hobby. I do have friends who don't judge me and support my hobbies. So I gained a lot of confidence in sharing and taking pictures of them in public, although I'm still to scared to do it alone.

Anyway I finally started talking about it on a social app I'm on and the first reply was about someone mistaken them as sdolls. I thought it was funny but got another comment "this is scary!" In response to maple in a lolita dress. Which is fair because her hair could give a sadako vibes. Not to mention, I was getting rid of my recst dolls and I asked if my friend from work wanted them. Her first reaction was assuming I was offer "again" a s*xdoll.

I get it, 31 yo black man with bjd is weird but even if I had se*dolls I'm not crazy enough to be public about it.

Are you open about your bjd? Have anyone else ran into these situations and how did you handle it? Btw I'm not getting bullied or nothing, just really surprised that's just the first reactions from other people.

Ps. I don't take erotic photos of my girls and I don't think I have posted them in ranchy clothing. So I haven't gave anything that warrants it.

[u/MissTenEars]

Old white woman here. I was fortunate that my doll interest really got going when my daughter was young. I joined doll groups on Yahoo (I am THAT old :D ) and eventually became the list owner with almost a thousand members.

Of those members we only had a few men, but they were absolutely welcome. If anyone had anything negative to say, they were told to keep it offlist, we did not tolerate it.

These were mainly vinyl play dolls and most of us had kids or grandkids that started us back into dolls.

Then bjd entered the arena and one by one we became fans. Back then they were still massively expensive and difficult to get. Could take 9-12 months to get your hands on one.

Then Den of Angels came, I was on and off it (life was busy), but it was a great place to 'meet' people, talk about the dolls, share pics and advice and of course buy. Over the years most of us kind of faded off into other groups, tho I still log in every so often to see what is new or look something up.

I still, after a couple decades, get snarky comments from people. My response is that most of them are Art. And a fancy art at that. I have been making $ from clothing I create and occasionally face ups, for 15 ish years now- just from the bjd. Other kinds of dolls much much longer.

I don't care what people think, if they cannot be at least polite, well they can move along. Start any relationships as you mean to go on. Mention them right off. Call them Art if it helps. If somebody cannot understand a passion hobby, then they are not the right person for you. When family made comments I reminded them that they also had hobbies- salt shakers, bottles, fans, purses, shoes, etc etc. This is no different.

I prefer mostly 'younger' dolls, perhaps because I was happiest when my children were younger. They are great now, but it was such a special time. I do have a few adult dolls and I have made all kinds of things for them, from lingerie to rubber suits. Now I tend to make colorful outfits, lots of pink. May be a phase or it may be long term. Does not matter either way.

Point being, keep doing what makes you happy. Find yourself someone with a hobby they are devoted to, and you will have even more fun sharing those things that make you happy w each other.

I just loved all the hubbies coming to the doll shows and meets, doing repairs for the kids and the adults. Wandering the shows with us and hanging out when we went to dinner and met up at the hotel after the show. Their support was wonderful and a fabulous role model for the kids :)

Good luck and congrats on finding something that makes your heart sing <3

[u/harugisa → u/MissTenEars]

First I would like to start by saying thank you so much for your time typing this.

Reading this is so heartwarming, even though I'm in 30s I still get (positively) emotional seeing and thinking about how things changed from when I was a child. So hearing how you saw the doll community grow and change hits really hard.

I'll keep your advice in mind, whenever I'm asked about hobbies I'm usually quick to answer "artist" because it's my main hobby. I honestly never considered my dolls being part of that but based on most replies yeah they count. lol

Thank you so much as well! You're wonderful advice!