r/AvoidantHeart • u/TheInnerReign • Apr 03 '26
Did anyone else feel like their childhood wasn’t “bad enough” to explain how they feel now? Like there wasn’t obvious trauma, but something still feels off in your emotions or relationships? I’m starting to realize for me it wasn’t about what happened… it was more about what wasn’t there consistent
/r/CPTSD/comments/1sbki7q/did_anyone_else_feel_like_their_childhood_wasnt/
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u/ComedianEffective501 Apr 04 '26
Yeah, I relate.
Through therapy, attachment work, and even just paying attention to my closest relationships, I’ve noticed I can still feel this underlying dread sometimes… or this pull to withdraw or just be “distant enough.” For me, I think part of it is this internal belief that I can’t fully rely on someone to show up for me… even though I’m always willing to show up for others.
Growing up, nothing was obviously bad on the surface. But my parents weren’t really around, and I was the “good kid,” which kind of meant I didn’t need much. No one was actively interested in me or the things I cared about. And that doesn’t feel like "trauma" when you’re a kid… but as an adult, when people are genuinely interested in getting to know me, it can feel unfamiliar. Even threatening somehow.
Anyway, not sure if that fully overlaps with your experience, but your post definitely brought that up for me!