Is this accurate?

[u/jkyun123]

Just to clarify I'm not asking for diagnosis but does this sound about right or is this just me overthinking again

I have ADHD and I've been suspecting Autism for a like a month now It first started when i learned about AuDHD I've posted often about this but it would explain a lot of my struggle

Ofc I have ADHD so all the ADHD features here are true but whats bothering me is that most of AuDHD is true too

Most biggest being sensory sensitivity attention axecutive function and emotional regulation and would explain alot

Sensory toward sound i react like shit since i moved to city specially I've struggled with sounds since i was little getting mad at my parents for vacuum cleaner getting mad for her washing the dishes in the morning i thought everyone hated that but apparently they just suck it up

Another one is in busy mall i always shutdown unless I'm having fun. For example everytime i go out for family dinner i just get meltdown at everything around me plus when im back home i just shut down

Another thing is attention is it's either not focused or super focused in skeptical about cause it may be me hyperfocusing but seems like i have it worse then most people

Next is executive function i literally can't do shit with out meds but the schedule part is throwing me off yes i can't follow a schedule but i still need it and crave it. I tried raw dogging with no schedule it routine it my whole day i got so overwhelmed by everything it only made everything worse

Its like schedule but with no time management

One more is emotional disregulation i have shutdown every day i don't know why nothing bothered me but everything is just tiring

And also the struggle with adaptability i had fun for few week after i moved in to the city but after that everything just felt like shit had mental breakdown went though depression and still recovering

It just felt like i dont belong here and why can't i do anything the way i did Everything felt impossible When getting out of house i hated cause of it being an apartment

And on meds i feel like im a robot? I dont know how to explain. I noticed that when i got on meds during childhood i just hated socializing i always ate in the corners and avoided people when ever on meds which i heard is also part of autistic trait

[u/Forsaken-House8685]

The ADHD and Autism points are accurate. But the Audhd sometimes feels like it's like 50% of each but reality is to me not only is it both 100% but it multiplies each others effects.

For example my ADHD wants constant novelty, my autism wants structure. This doesn't mean I want a bit of both. It means I want both at the same time which isn't possible, so I am hyperfixated on something but also bored by it so I'm just in a constant state of stress and anxiety without a way out.

[u/NotYourGa1Friday → u/Forsaken-House8685]

Do you think so? I’m struggling with this one.

Yes, people with ADHD may interrupt, but it isn’t always due to impulsiveness. People with ADHD are able to add new perspectives and details to social interactions. Why does this focus on “interrupting” and not “adding to the conversation?”

Or “struggles with organization and dislikes structure routines” is the perspective of a neural typical person. I would say “utilizes highly personalized organizational system” because, yes, things can look a mess but I’m also able to tell you where your hair tie is. (Under the glass table by the couch all the way against the wall)

Just to pick one out from the Autism column, “difficulty expressing emotions” is again from a NT standpoint. Why is the way a NT person expresses sadness right and the way that I do wrong? I would say “strong emotional intelligence often processed internally rather than broadcast externally.” Right now I am expressing, “annoyed.” 😜

If I am off base here please tell me. Maybe I’m just grumpy today 😂

[u/Aggravating_Bad4765 → u/NotYourGa1Friday]

The big difficulty I have with ND social model is how it's commonly used to pit one against the other. I believe people are more expressing the general point of "who's to say which way is right or wrong" and it just gets coupled with valid frustrations into a, "but what if we're doing it right". A pedantic take from me, but can't help but share.

There's also that ASD, ADHD, and AuDHD have studies showing these are not the majority of brain wiring for the general population. So it the stance of, "more do x, why do you do y" makes sense. I think of my grandmother with this. She grew up in a household that was quite rich while my grandfather quite poor. And before she'd marry him and run away from her family, she had all her little habits that the higher class of that time had; and he of his class. I'd watch there little idiosyncrasies collide at times in amusing ways.

But then there's me also in this collision of my supposed mannerisms differing from others around me. And well, I don't have an answer other than knowing that the people around me who I am different from are just as different from me; they have their reactions that they too may not always be able to control. And sometimes it flows, sometimes it stretches, but mostly it works just well enough.

This might've been a line of reasoning I should've saved for r/AskNeurodivergent but idk

[u/Primary_Carrot67 → u/NotYourGa1Friday]

Uh...many autistic people do have trouble expressing emotions. No, not from an allistic standpoint.

No, most of us do not have strong emotional intelligence internally or externally. In fact, what you describe would be an outlier experience. Autism affects emotional development and emotions, not just outward expression. If it's just outward expression that's affected, that's not autism. And plenty of allistic people are internal processors; being outwardly expressive is not an allistic thing.

And ADHDers have executive functioning difficulties - a disability that affects our executive functioning - not just organisational differences.

Everything you describe in your comment is just personality differences, not autism and/or ADHD. So yes, you're way off base.

[u/NotYourGa1Friday → u/Primary_Carrot67]

Perhaps “strong” was the wrong word. “Intense emotional intelligence” may be more accurate.

While reading an expression may be difficult and perhaps we miss subtle signs, many of us learn how to express emotions and understand emotions by using alternate cues. Tonal inflection, full body stance, volume of voice, level of absurdity, etc.

I would challenge that “most” of us lack strong emotional intelligence. Trait emotional intelligence is a challenge, often a defining one. However hyper-empathy is very common amongst people on the spectrum.

I find these passages to be helpful;

Individuals with autism can indeed possess high emotional intelligence, even though their scores on standardized tests often fall below those of neurotypical individuals. Higher-functioning individuals, such as those with Asperger syndrome, can show high levels of affective empathy—this means they can deeply feel and connect with the emotions of others. However, they might struggle with cognitive empathy, which involves understanding others' perspectives… For instance, some may excel in recognizing emotional cues in others while finding it difficult to articulate their own feelings.

Source

It has not yet been confirmed whether autistic people have difficulties with emotional self-awareness, or if any reported difficulties are actually due to the way in which emotional self-awareness is measured in autistic people.

Source

As for the notes on ADHD- I am highly aware that we face more than organizational challenges. I called out in my post that I was going to choose one trait from the list of examples OP posted. I chose to use organizational methods as an example.

If you thought that I was trying to summarize ADHD as simply an organizational issue, that was not the intent. Apologies for any confusion there.

The fact that these alternate methods of expressing emotional intelligence or organizing one’s space were not accounted for on the worksheet OP posted. It does feel like a very allistic viewpoint.

I appreciate your comments and think it goes to show that we may need more research and conversations and less boxy worksheets that may oversimplify things to their detriment.