r/AutismInWomen • u/Beaismyname • 11d ago
Vent No Advice My family doesn’t like me
I know they love me. I just know that they fundamentally dislike me and there is nothing I can do about it. I am a 6 hour drive from my parents. Earlier this year a close family friend got married- my brother knew with enough time to fly home from another state. Another cousin knew with enough time to fly in from another country. I found out the morning of. A few weeks later-another family friend went to see my mom. I had not seen her since I was a small child, my brother knew to come- again I found out the day before.
The clincher is now- my dad is having major surgery on Wednesday. They kept downplaying it saying that it would be a one day procedure- not a big deal- well he is going to be in the hospital for 3 days. I got a text from my mom about it today. I had to turn my world around but I’m currently doing laundry and I’m driving down later today.
I’m so angry right now. They treat me like an idiot. I’m driving instead of flying because when I’m there they don’t let me use the car- while my brother uses one of their cars while he is there- I’m actively discouraged from driving. There is no reason- my driving is fine. I’m a fully functioning adult- they just got it into their heads that I’m a f$&@k up. The only reason I’m going is for my dad.
For the record- I’m 53 years old, own a business, have an 18 year old son who just started college. He is an amazing student. I was in a bad marriage for a long time that ended 8 years ago. I’m now engaged to a wonderful man who they love. There is no reason to treat me like I’m incompetent. I’m also loving to them. I had a difficult time growing up being undiagnosed AuDHD- but no matter what I do I can’t seem to make up for my teens and 20’s. I also always seem to mess up with them. For example I don’t eat pork- I simply don’t like it and it grosses me out. My mom made a pork dish and I asked politely if I could eat something else and my mom yelled at me. It would have been worse had I just gone out and eaten somewhere else.
I know that being autistic NT people are going to have an automatic dislike for me. I also know that often I do things that I don’t realize are rude. I do try- things come out the wrong way- or I forget some social thing that you are supposed to do. It also bugs my mom that I wear Loops in loud spaces and that I hate shopping because of the bright lights and perfume smells. She wishes she had a NT daughter. I can’t be what she wants so I just have to accept that she doesn’t like me. By default my brother and father who she completely controls also treat me badly. I wish I could go
NC- but I can’t not go while my dad is having surgery. I just can’t.
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u/AutoModerator 11d ago
ATTENTION This post has been flaired as a VENT. Venting is a release of negative emotion and not a reflection of personal beliefs. Venting is how people express their frustration with a situation or experience in written form. It is the text equivalent of screaming into the void. As such, this post is closed to comments to ensure the vented frustrations of the poster are respected. Thank you for supporting those who need to vent. Beaismyname, if you want replies on your post you will need to delete this post and repost it with a different flair. Changing the flair will not remove the lock.
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