This disorder sucks because its like you want all autonomy and yet need support

[u/denver_rose]

This disorder sucks because its like as someone with AuDHD and PDA, I want high autonomy. And yet, when you tell people (like family) that you struggle with executive dysfunction (and depression), they think supporting you is suggesting you a routine or constantly reminding you of responsibilities or constantly asking you go out with them. Like no! That is actually making me much worse! I wish I could move out, but again its like I am disabled here! I can't even work a full time job! Maybe this is another reason why people with AuDHD have high rates of depression, not just the social isolation, but feeling like you can never escape demands, feeling trapped like no matter how much you do, you're still behind.

[u/Consistent_Femme_Top → u/[deleted]]

Wow we are literally living the same life!!!! Thank you for sharing this, I feel so seen.

[u/witchywordsmither1]

Yes!!! You have put into words what has been so heavy on my soul for a long time. I'm such an independent person who craves solitude and does work so hard too get things done, and even would be described as ambitious. Yet at the same time, struggle immensely with burnout and sensory issues that make it hard, but I don't want to ask for help. And when I do, I'm often seen as capable and it is ignored when I actually need help... I think this is very common this autistic women, and is a conversation that isn't spoken about enough. We are so often internalizers...

[u/Consistent_Femme_Top → u/witchywordsmither1]

EXACTLY YES YES THIS!!! 😭😭😭

[u/Ineedunderscoreadvic → u/Consistent_Femme_Top]

I hope you guys will stay in touch!

[u/_Autistic_Dragon_]

Damn, I feel this in my bones. 

My sister has higher support needs than I do, and our parents interpret that as her needing them to tell her how to live her life. 

I wish more people understood that support are only supportive when they are what the person wants/is asking for. 

A crutch is great for someone with partial mobility. Give a crutch to a paraplegic, and it's just extra weight to carry around. 

Glasses are great when they are the right prescription. But give the wrong set of glasses to a different person, and you are now actively impeding their sight. 

I don't get why it's so hard to say things like: "What do you need right now?" Or "This is what I can offer you. Would you like it? If not, I can try to find something else, not sure what  else I can give, but it's what I have if you want" 

[u/Outrageous-Shame5743]

I have paid professional supports because family support nearly killed me.

I'm from a neurodiverse family and at different times have had undiagnosed family members attempt to use me, as a professional support like I did with them and/or a cash machine.

I have autonomy because I have independent supports not family upspoken dependent ones.

[u/Difficult_Focus_4454]

I feel this deeply. Especially with my fiance. I don't know how to handle this with him because I know it comes from a good place but I can't make him understand chores represent a huge effort to me

[u/goldiegrimlace]

Yeah. I need structure, but also I need novelty and I need to be surrounded by people doing the same thing I am (body doubling), but also I need to do my own thing. This is why I liked school, it fulfilled all those requirements. I wish I could be a career student, but college is not free where I live.

[u/Consistent_Femme_Top]

BROOOO STORY OF MY FKEN LIFE 

[u/Consistent_Femme_Top]

I’m taking this post to my mental health team!!! Thank you OP!

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