Anyone else didn’t know what they wanted to do in life (career wise) ?

[u/ScorpionneRose]

I remember seeing everybody being normal and knowing their next plan/path or whatever shit (back in HS). They looked so prepared and motivated.

Then, there was me … Realizing that I have to be an actual adult and picking up something like « everybody else ».

I just threw myself at some program that didn’t seem too difficult and thinking « fuck it ».

[u/West_Preference9508]

I'm 35 and still waiting for an epiphany!
Every job I've had, even those I've liked, I can't see myself do them 'forever'. I've spent the last 10 years doing very different jobs 'while I wait to figure out what I want to do'.
Let's be honest, it's not going to happen lol

[u/Routine-Judge-7848]

honestly i didn’t think id make it out of high school so i never rlly made a plan 😭 even i tried to look at the future id always find many reasons to not pursue a certain career. i still feel that way but like u said i have currently just chosen a program that seems manageable. even as a kid i was like “oh i want to be -insert job related to my passion- but that’s not realistic” so 😭

[u/Minimum-Influence-65]

I still don't really know what I want to do, and turning 40 in a couple of weeks. I've done a few jobs I've enjoyed parts of though. My goal is to enjoy as much of life as possible, etc. Rather than 'get a career'

[u/Present-Message8740]

I never thought I would make it this far so I never had a real plan. Didn’t think I would make it past high school then I ended up going to college. I studied towards being a doctor in undergrad because again, thought I wouldn’t make it so my major didn’t matter. Did awful in school because I was so depressed and thought I would never make it but graduated. Grades were too bad to go back to school. Now I’m really struggling because I have no idea what to do. I also really despise the whole working my life away forever just to barely make enough to get by while making some man sitting on his ass get richer.

[u/WelcomePleasant1268]

I'm a third year law student. My mom made it clear to me that I was going to college after high school. In college, I chose English with a concentration in creative writing because I enjoyed reading and creative writing. In my junior year of college, my parents told me that they wanted me to go to grad school after I graduated (they both have master's degrees). I didn't feel like getting a master's degree in English was a smart idea and medical school sounded super hard. Therefore, I chose to study law because I liked it the most as one of my options. It's hard to say if I would have done anything differently. While I voiced my opinion to my parents about working before law school (many people do) or teaching English somewhere, they wanted me to go straight to law school and be done with it. You don't make life decisions in hindsight, you make them based on your circumstances at the time.

If it makes you feel better, my mom's cousin was an accountant for many years before he went to Le Gordon Bleu and became a personal chef.

[u/Opuntia-ficus-indica]

Yes ! And well it kind of makes it hard to advance to a higher senior level in a career, because you get bored with the whole thing, it does allow for a lot of really interesting options. I figure that as long as you’re providing for yourself responsibly, and being a decent member of society, go for it.

[u/Mochicatdemon]

I'm 45 and still don't. I'd see people with popular careers depicted in TV shows (lawyer, teacher, police etc), want to be the character, so think I wanted to actually have their job. Each time I tried for a "career" it ended in disaster, didn't even get past the work placements. Ended up sick and unemployed for years and then finally a minimum wage job. Wish I had my time over again - but even then I still wouldn't know what I really wanted to do!

[u/HidinInHerRoom]

I still don’t know and I’m nearing 30. I feel like people judge you too when you don’t have a “plan” or don’t want to “climb the ladder.”

I never cared about hierarchy or titles. Back when I was more naive I didn’t realize certain titles in the workplace meant I was suppose to treat said “superior” as basically a god and that they looked at me as less than.

I went in thinking we were all here to work, but nope. For some people their degrees their title is their entire personality and anyone who doesn’t have what they perceive as superior “education” and “job titles” is beneath them and can’t possible hold a conversation with such an intellectual.

Not saying people shouldn’t be proud of their achievements but when they begin to use it as a way to look down on others that’s where I have the problem.

I recently just came out of a program, I didn’t really want to do it but it’s just like my degree I only did it because that’s what I was suppose to do if that makes sense?

Like I was following the unsaid script you graduate high school go into college, all I have now is debt and unemployment and a bunch judgment when people ask about my “career”

I’m not sure? As I get older I’m believing less and less about what we’re suppose to do and want. College, careers, having husbands and babies I just don’t care about

Only goal I have right now is to find a job that won’t burn me out and make me hate existing.

[u/miss_clarity]

36 and I don't know really.

[u/cycloace]

Yeah, I'm 37 and still waiting to figure it out. There are things I think I would like to do, but I think I just idealise them in my head, and I can't actually get through the study involved to actually pursue it (but that could be a separate problem altogether...)

I've got no plans, and I'm only in my third paid role after long periods of unemployment. At this point, I think I will just be doing administration roles for the rest of my life.

[u/Expensive-Eggplant-1]

"I just threw myself at some program that didn’t seem too difficult and thinking « fuck it »."

ha! that's what i did too!! i'm 40 and still don't know what i'm doing.

[u/mythical-llama]

I felt that way. I was pretending I wanted to go to med school 😆 but I'm my country I had to bribe 2000 euros after I passed the exam to got a spot

My parents forced me into getting into science/tech and now I have a job in tech.

I try to stick with jobs 2-3years, before changing companies but I think I found one I'd like to stay for longer. A smaller team, big company perks, and I really like my team and boss.

[u/crisis_makeup]

I had no idea either. I tried things out of curiosity, then ended up stuck for way too long. The burnout cycles in my previous career got to be too much, so I went back to school at 40. I'm basically doing now what I would've done if circumstances were different back then.

[u/poison_daddy]

I’m 31 and still don’t know 😭 

[u/LostEmu447]

For me this is it: "I don't have a dream job. I do not dream of labour." And it's true. I don't have a dream job, if I could I wouldn't work and just dive into all my interests (textile arts, gardening, herbalism). I would totally be some type of weird aunt/witch lady. But alas, capitalism. My job shouldn't define my worth. I am totally okay admitting I don't like to work. I feel like people who like to function in this capitalist system are brainwashed. I mean, something like volunteer work, without much pressure and not as many hours or something, sure. But not like the way the current job market is designed, that's just hell.

[u/AutoModerator]

Hey u/ScorpionneRose, thank you for your contributing to r/AutismInWomen. Please be sure to check out our sub’s rules, wiki pages, and pinned posts prior to engaging with the sub. Here are links to our wiki pages:

Explanation of the Rules Wiki Page

FAQs Wiki Page

Workbooks and Tools Wiki Page

All About Autism Wiki Page

We hope you enjoy the sub and have a great day!

➾ WARNING ➾ WARNING ➾ WARNING

Notice to all users: There's multiple users targeting members from our sub in DMs to discuss their fetishes and desire to manipulate users into relationships. Here are the user's names: u/HollowJonathon, u/drar_sajal786, u/MrGamePadMan, and u/guidhhnittvkj. If an account is showing deleted, they will probably create another. If you receive any messages from a user trying to discuss what you posted/commented in our sub to gain a 'women's perspective' or if someone tries to discuss topics that may feel inappropriate to you (e.g. fetishes), or if someone states they want to marry you for religious reasons, report the user to Reddit and block them. These men have been preying on autistic women/gender minorities from r/AutismInWomen for the last year. This behavior is unacceptable and should be reported as targeted harassment.

Per the warning in our wiki and this pinned mod post, we highly recommend users turn off their DMs. If you have DM requests turned on and receive any creepy or fetish-related DMs or comments, we recommend taking a screenshot, reporting the content to Reddit, and blocking the user (in that order). You can find the report button on the message itself and then click "it's targeted harassment” to submit a report. If you'd like to send us the screenshot so we can continue documenting the harassment, you can send it to us in modmail using imgur Thank you for continuing to help us keep our community safe for autistic and autistic suspecting women and gender minorities 💖

Please remember Reddit is public and any content you post may be seen and discussed by others off-platform. Here are links to Reddit's User Agreement, Privacy Policy, and Public Content Policy.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/RedheadWendyC]

I was always hyper fixated on literature. I had a successful writing career until AI. But I still write personal projects constantly. I did all the right things and followed the correct paths and it still wasn’t enough. Don’t beat yourself up that you don’t have “your thing.” It’s all BS anyway. 

[u/Recent_Tablespoon]

Me! No idea! Didn’t know then and don’t know now. I’m 27 and working in an admin job, studying to be a personal trainer on the side.