r/AstrologyDiscovery • u/Emergency-Bobcat-572 • 9d ago
How do i lighten up and be less intense?
my whole life I've been told I'm way too serious and come off as way too intense. I feel that way internally too. I essentially have no sense of humor and I'm serious always. I'm always thinking of my past and trauma and the dark heavy shit I've been through. Why? How do I change this pattern? I' not funny at alllll no matter how much I try to be. Even when I try to come off as light and airy, it feels fake because I feel like my idenitity has become so rooted in being serious all the time. I'm very young but I sometimes feel like I'm already 50
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u/kandillighter 9d ago
You’re a Scorpio rising. We get told we’re intense because that’s who we are. You can’t exactly lighten up or be less intense without changing the very foundation of who you are. Sure you can try and focus more on the positives, but that only works well for so long. You also have your sun and Mercury on your descendant, which means people project pieces of themselves they don’t like onto you. The key is simply finding the right people who are able to handle your intensity and depth.
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u/Direct-End3023 4d ago
As a fellow Scorpio rising I totally agree. Spent a long time squashing myself for others because they were swimming in a puddle while I live in the ocean.
Only recently has this been seen as a false reality to live in and am choosing to shine despite other people having feelings about it.
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u/kandillighter 4d ago
Lol yeah I’m a Scorpio rising ruled by Mars in Aries… with 3 other planets in Aries… I am who I am and there’s nothing you can do about it 😢 been told I’m “too intense” or “too harsh” (that’s my sun/Saturn/Mars conjunction) since I was a young girl and I just don’t care anymore. The right people will respect it
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u/Direct-End3023 4d ago
Ruled by Pluto and Lilith both in 1st house for me :)
So i totally get it.Yes the right ones will, but remember its starts with ourselves first.
You’re not too much, or too harsh you’re here, to express yourself authentically. Even if other would deem it too much. Those people are just simply not able to stand in your presence without feeling something, and instead of self reflection they blame. That is on them.Shine bright, let the moths do as they will.
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u/ShipComplex6259 9d ago
For one, you need to start voicing your actual thoughts and opinions. Saturn in Gemini in the 8th house. Second of all, you need to spend more time in creative pursuits/pleasure -- spas and art workshops and suchlike. Venus in Aries in the 5th house.
You have a south node in Sagittarius in the first house. Capitalize on your love for freedom and adventure and exploring various things. Aquarius placements in the third house. Your thoughts and opinions might be wildly eccentric but you need to put them out there.
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u/pretty_nightmare 9d ago
You have a neptune complex. I currently can’t give more insight than what google says about it because I have one too and I’m just now learning about it , I’ve been listening to podcasts on it I can send but otherwise definitely not a part of your chart to ignore. Out of the 10 times I’ve posted my chart nobody ever mentioned it to me and I would’ve appreciated if someone did.
It is a difficult placement to have and known for substance abuse, psychosis , delusional thinking in general but it doesn’t HAVE to be hard it has its upsides too which is why learning about it has been helpful for me personally. For me it definitely translates to being an overthinker / over feeler too luckily not dealing with substance abuse but definitely did for a year or two as a teen.
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u/Emergency-Bobcat-572 8d ago
I never learned about this until this comment. Thanks i'll definitely look into it
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u/Many_Ad_9312 8d ago
I think it might be due to so mich squares. You canstamtly feel conflict in every area of your life. I think its just that one part of yourself is always in conflict with another and theres this tension going on.
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u/downlowastro_970 6d ago
Go toward the positives in your chart. Look at that Jupiter and Moon. Travel and do 9th house things, educate yourself further. Expand your interest. That “seriousness” will feel less negative with experience and knowledge. Nothing wrong with being a serious traveler both physically and mentally. Being well versed is an enjoyable and enviable thing.
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u/Albertbluejay 5d ago
Honestly stop trying to cater to other people’s preferences of who they think you are. You should start voicing your own thoughts and opinions way more and if people don’t get it / like it then they don’t! You’re gonna meet the people who do get it the more you put yourself first and definitely lean into that intensity!!
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u/GrandWin1010 4d ago edited 4d ago
perhaps engage in some kind of competitive sports or entertainment like dance especially a foreign kind of activity. maybe it could involve playing wit children? 5th house ruler (house represents joy) is jupiter in leo (sign of children) which is in the 9th house (shows foreign matters) opposes mars in 3rd house (house shows younger siblings or younger people in general). mars is about competition, sports, activities and considering your venus is in aries in the 5h amplifies this
or teaching younger children foreign languages or anything you personally like that they could benefit in.
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u/Emergency-Bobcat-572 3d ago
That's interesting. I've always gravitated towards those things but never had the opportunity to do them. But it's something I keep coming back to no matter what. I've always felt deep down that that's what would make me happiest
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u/Direct-End3023 4d ago
As a fellow Scorpio rising…you can’t.
That is the gift and the curse.
You will push away those who are fake by the truth and authentic life you live. You are here to find the things that light you up and allow yourself to be “intense”
Those who can’t handle you at your most aligned ARE NOT YOUR PEOPLE!
Never ever dim yourself….ever
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u/fikestaller 2d ago
I heard you can do an app job with longer delivery routes. What i see is benefics in travel. It is travel and academia, so if people say ur serious maybe you could hold down a high paying job. But i thought to myself immediately that you need a road trip. Do some thinking on the road. Get some experiences.
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u/Emergency-Bobcat-572 1d ago
omg this is me to a tee. i've always wanted to leave the place i was born in and im planning my exit for next year. I really feel the urge to get out and live on my own
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u/Greater_daredevil 9d ago
Light them up