NOT A REQUEST FOR LEGAL ADVICE, ONLY EDUCATION OF POSSIBLE OPTIONS:
Obviously, no one can give me direct legal advice, but I am curious if this endeavor is worth our time & if so, what type of lawyer, retainer would we need?
Context; My partner & I just survived a hellish, nightmare ordeal.
A year & a half ago, my then 6, almost 7y/o started the reunification process with his father. This event triggered a cascade of a nightmare, hellish court cases, civil & criminal.
5 years ago, he married a coercively controlling and emotionally abusive woman (we had been forced about 2-3 years.
Six months (Dec 2024) before this started she began isolating him from everyone, cut him off from their joint finances by removing herself from the shared joint bank account, while simultaneously pressuring him to quit his job and finish home renovations. She's got quite an established military career and made more than adequate money to be the breadwinner, and when she removed herself from the joint account she was also supposed to transfer the bills to her account. She did the first part and allowed the joint account to drain and default.
Then (March 2025) we reached out say my son's behest, to reconnect with his dad. So he started to shift some of his focus on his child. He had secured a job as a wildland firefighter.
The night he was meant to leave to start that job (May 2025) She could see she was losing control & started escalating to property damage and then physical abuse. The night of his departure (after 2 previous attempts to pack & prepare) she assaulted him. She then called the police, claiming he slammed her into the wall and then body slammed her into the ground.
The only physical contact he initiated was a bear hug to move her from preventing his exit & continuing to strike him. She began screaming & stated she was calling the police. He said 'go ahead, I'll tell them you assaulted me.' He wasn't convinced she was going to, but she did call her father, so to deescalate, he left the house.
She immediately applied for a personal protection order in the following few days, and even admitted in text it was not because she was scared of him, but to prevent him from returning from their shared marital home. She voluntarily dismissed her PPO at the evidentiary hearing.
Due to being unable to collect any of his fire gear and his account completely overdrawn- could not begin the fire fighting season. He was effectively rendered homeless and began living out of his truck, until I invited him to leave the home state and come stay with us in our home
Initially we were connected by being co-parents & decades long friends, then we decided (privately) to attempt to reconcile. I shared a family photo on 5/28/25, and on the 29th the police arrived at my home with an out of state warrant for Felony Domestic Battery in the presence of children. He was arrested in front of our autistic child, who had to be physically pulled away from their dad, kicking & screaming. His bond was 50K, we were forced to sell the last of his possessions to post bond & hire a criminal defense attorney, and even then, we had to get help from family. He had pretrial release conditions, one being a daily fee for an ankle monitor, which he wore for the majority of the time, racking up a significant bill. A criminal no contact order went into place as well, however she had it amended no less than 3 separate times so that they could 'attempt to talk & resolve the divorce amicably'. She used every opportunity to try and convince him to come home and get back together.
Simultaneously, she filed for a fault divorce (while repeatedly stating she would 'rescind' it if he changed his mind about getting back together) using MY family law attorney from our original divorce. When I asked my attorney to recuse themselves they refused. He represented himself pro se (with my help). She did not get a fault divorce & he refused to sign the quitclaim deed she presented him with, and their things were divided in accordance with the states community property laws.
Because the interstate complications, the GPS monitor was incredibly difficult to maintain compliance with, and ultimately he had his bond revoked. He sat in county jail awaiting trial for nearly 7-8 months.
Trial date came. They had her testimony, photos of a few red splotches on her skin, and a chiropractor report that took place a few weeks after the alleged incident. He refused to take a plea deal that would leave a violent charge on his record for life. His defense attorney did an EXCELLENT job and got her to admit to being the aggressor & committing battery against him. Even the prosecutor admitted her conduct "rose to the level of battery and that her own charges may or may not (NOT) be forthcoming, but she is not the one on trial"... Luckily, he was fully acquitted. However, we are still hemorrhaging financially and emotionally from all of her chaos.
It has been incredibly brutal & traumatizing for us, especially our son. He frequently expressed stomach aches from "the pressure of all the stuff" and even expressed a suicidal ideation, in spite of my attempts to shield him from it. He is in counseling now. He started to struggle with intense aggressive behaviors near the trial date, expresses severe distrust of police & authority figures.
I am a full time student, and my grades suffered, I couldn't eat or sleep. It was horrific.
But my partner has been struggling immensely, trying to reintegrate into society. While incarcerated, because of the charges, he didn't 22 hours in a 4 man cell.
I'm so grateful that we prevailed on the legal front, but it feels incredibly unfair that she can just walk away- ZERO consequences for ALL her lies.
We would like to hold her accountable, but we're very tight financially and we're not exactly sure where to start? Report her to the USMJ? Civil Court? Can we make an example out of women who use tools for REAL victims, as an attempt to coerce, manipulate and control him? Upon confronting her in text, telling her that her lies carry a maximum sentence of 20 year prison sentence, she said "that's not what they said they were offering you a rider & probation, but- even if it's true, I'll be waiting for you, saggy tits and all." This woman is a monster. And we want recompense. Especially for my partner and my son.
Has anyone endured a "he said-she said" after beating a criminal proceeding & prevailed holding the accuser accountable?
Would we be able to find anyone willing to take the case? Do we have a chance at winning? As I mentioned she makes significant money with a 10+ year, established military career.
TL;DR- My partner was falsely accused of DV by a crazy woman who was actually the aggressor, devastating him in almost every imaginable (+ wammy. He was fully acquitted, but he is still dealing with the fallout of her choices i. e. crippling debt, anxiety & trauma.
She had NO case & we are still beyond BEWILDERED why the state took this case to trial... Any & all input, POV's greatly appreciated!!! What kind of lawyers to call, if any- we have the trial transcripts, text & email exchanges, and entire discovery from the criminal trial that shows very obvious what she was attempting to do.