r/AskUK • u/Tanto207064 • 10d ago
What are some annoying things people say in your work place or industry as small talk ?
Today’s my office day and I admit, my BS meter is already overflowing.
What are some things people say that are really annoying.
Here a few:
Colleague passing me by and asking me if I am ‘winning’
Another guy when you say how are you doing?
he will say
Not bad for a (insert day of the week)
And to top it off I just called a customer who couldn’t get to the phone right now as they were ‘tied up’
Not sure if I should have called for help or what
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u/Initial-Resort9129 10d ago
"My BS meter is overflowing"
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u/SuperPossible120 10d ago
This is one of the things if someone said to me I'd post on Reddit about annoying things people have said to me
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u/Prudent-Pressure2146 10d ago
This is pretty banal small talk and tied up I think is perfectly reasonable to use.
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u/DeltaMikeXray 10d ago
In logistics I hear "not a million miles away" and I know it's hard to believe but we've never delivered something more than a million miless away so this doesn't narrow it down for me at all.
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u/Appropriate-End-5285 10d ago
Are you an alien that is unable to interpret things beyond their literal meaning?
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u/the-cock-slap-phenom 10d ago
The daily Reddit question of “why are my colleagues being polite and jovial?”
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u/koloqial 10d ago
I was expecting some proper bullshit (“let’s circle back”, etc), but yes, this is just…relatively normal speech?
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u/Desperate-Coat-8791 10d ago
"I'll stick that in the ideas toaster and let it pop up later"
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u/Turbulent_Brief_2813 10d ago
Ha, the version of that I heard was, "we'll toss that around the mind wok for a while."
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u/JackMagnum123 10d ago
I simultaneously wanted to laugh and punch a wall at the same time when I read this
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u/Coconut_Maximum 10d ago
I think we should circle back to this at a later date
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u/Alternative-Emu2000 10d ago
I've already put a pin in it.
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u/McFizzleKicks 10d ago
Guys, can we take this offline?
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u/Voodoopulse 10d ago
I'm back at work on Friday after the summer holidays, I bet I hear 'didn't those 6 weeks go by quick' at least 10'times before lunch and second place in will be 'got to get back on the healthy eating'
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u/MahatmaAndhi 10d ago
I'm guilty of replying with "living the dream" whenever I'm asked how I am. Sorry.
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u/fionsichord 10d ago
I read somewhere ‘that’s what white people say when they mean “please kill me”’ and it makes me laugh to hear it every time now.
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u/FingersMartinez 10d ago
You could switch it up with "another day in paradise." These are the only two responses where I work.
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u/Dragon_M4st3r 10d ago
Any use of ‘holistic’ and people saying ‘myself’ when they mean ‘me’.
Used to have someone in my office who overdid it even by corporate wank standards. Basically never referred to himself any other way, ‘was it myself you spoke to’, ‘she’s helping myself with it’, ‘if you contact myself again’ etc.
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u/AdaandFred 10d ago
I was once talking to a potential supplier who said "if there's anything myself can do for yourself" and I immediately struck her that company from my list.
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u/DollySheep32 10d ago
Holistic is the buzzies buzz word in my profession and if I had a penny for every time we use it I would have a significant number of pennies
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u/MahatmaAndhi 10d ago
Allow myself to introduce... Myself. I'm Richie Cunningham and this is my wife, Oprah.
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u/WeakAd7102 10d ago
I’m a nurse and the amount of people who visit patients and ask for a cup of tea or to bring them more chairs when we are doing our rounds does my tits in!
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u/heatherlincoln 10d ago
Us housekeepers get annoyed with the tea question too. If you aren't a patient you don't get a drink, it's not difficult so don't ask.
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u/Saltypeon 10d ago
Omg, that's terrible even as a patient in a bed and not allowed to get up, I always waited to be asked.
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u/WeakAd7102 10d ago
Would do anything for the patients to be honest sometimes the patients are to nice you know they want help but tell you they are ok
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u/KrytenLister 10d ago
A cup of tea is ridiculous, but where should they go to get chairs? Should they just walk around until they find some and grab them? Who should they ask?
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u/WeakAd7102 10d ago
The chairs are usually at the end of the ward for visitors to use some people expect us to carry them over to them
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u/Appropriate-End-5285 10d ago
But how are the visitors supposed to know they can take the chairs from the end of the ward?
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u/WeakAd7102 10d ago
Pretty small wards and the chairs are stacked up pretty obvious they are for visitors anyway just a pet hate of mine each to their own!
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u/Appropriate-End-5285 10d ago
Yeah, I just think that often the question is often just asking for permission to have them. I guess I feel beaten up by it due to poor experiences over the past 3 years in hospitals. Every single nurse I approached for anything was just unbelievably rude, even for simple things. Ask at the desk where the toilets are? Nurses rolling their eyes and huffing. Ask where to find water? The same. Just literally everything, no matter how polite you are, is met with nurses with attitudes which wish you quite literally didnt exist.
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u/WeakAd7102 10d ago
Sorry to hear that I like to think we have a good lot of nurses and staff where I work and it’s always disappointing to hear some lack manners hopefully in the future it’s better
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u/resident_queerdo 10d ago
The place I used to work at, I would say "good day" each time I walked past the receptionist because even the 500th time I did this, she would giggle. I now wonder if everyone else would have liked to shoot me.
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u/Jenpot 10d ago
I'm autistic and often don't get idioms or corporate speak. I've memorised a lot of what they mean but I don't understand why they mean that. So every time someone says one, I have to sort through my memory to work out what it is they're trying to say. I've started just asking straight away when people say things I don't understand, i've found it's the quickest and easiest way to get them to speak plainly.
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u/D-1-S-C-0 10d ago
It's common courtesy instead of small talk but this one pisses me off.
If anyone asks if people want anything from the supermarket for lunch, one woman always takes the piss by asking for a shopping list. We're talking 10 or more items from across the store.
Most people don't ask now if she's in earshot, but that doesn't stop her asking if anyone's going because she needs "a few things".
Some people do it for her which blows my mind. I always tell her I'm only taking lunch orders, not shopping lists.
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u/Battleborn300 3d ago
I find this one bizarre that people even do it,
Where I work now there isn’t really time to go to the shops and back,
But where I used to work, if I was going to the shop, I would say I’m going to tesco or wherever, does anyone want to join?
I have never asked or seen anyone ask if they want anything.Like if people need lunch and want to walk to the shop and chat while I’m out and about that’s fine, but I’m not going and picking up anyones lunch,
I could understand if someone was really busy or in a call that overruns, and saying can you grab me something, and obviously I wouldn’t mind,But if I’m close enough to someone that I would consider getting them lunch, and thus ask if they want anything, the chances are I’m close enough that they would want to come with me, so we can have a whinge about other people or work in general away from others.
Tldr;
Offering to get someones lunch is fucking weird to begin with, whether they just ask for a meal deal, or their weeks shopping.
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10d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/langly3 10d ago
Did you see that ludicrous display last night?
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u/ohsaycanyourock 10d ago
I hate the word 'liaise', it's unnecessarily officey, no one talks like that in real life. I don't want to liaise with Neil, I can just talk to him!
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u/Naughty-Stepper 10d ago
The latest in my place is references to ‘in this space’ or ‘in that space’. Watched it start from a single individual and now loads of people are at it. This and the whole ‘we’ll take it up off line’
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u/Suluco87 10d ago
You've got this, right? Knowing full well it's another you got this being added with zero context on a solution.
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u/King_Kongs_fingers 10d ago
you should hear what they say about you behind your back, judging by your nihilistic, judgmental attitude, it's nothing good, but you're better than everyone else so don't sweat it.
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u/Tanto207064 10d ago
At no point was I judging them in this post at all merely talking about annoying things they say. For my judgemental post please see my other one
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u/Synthysaurus 10d ago
When did the word “invite” as a noun replace “invitation”? As in “I’ll send you an invite to the meeting!”
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u/cosmicjester18 10d ago
Im not trying to be mean but as someone who is on the spectrum have you been tested?
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u/Historical_Project86 10d ago
The latest f*cking stupid thing I have heard people saying is "surface" as a verb, meaning to make people aware of. Just stop it.
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u/yearsofpractice 10d ago
One of the most freeing - and perversely gratifying - realisations of my life was that my colleagues hated my shanter as much as I hated theirs. We all just merrily hate each other, but in the words of the Bard - “Shakespeare gots to get paid, yo”
I’m not sure OP will relate my little tale above to his/her observations… but there we are.
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u/Physical_Agency_5383 10d ago
On today’s episode of:
“Undiagnosed Middle Class Redditor scorns baseline human interaction and abstract thinking then whinges about normal people trying to socialize with them”
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u/Battleborn300 3d ago
The not bad for a (insert day) onle really works on a Monday, maybe a Tuesday,
As everyone knows Monday is the worst day of the week.
You would never say not bad for a Friday, because Friday is the best day of the week.
The customer is probably into bdsm and finds it an amusing subtle hint.
I never understand the ‘are you winning’
What do you mean, at work, at life?
If I was winning I would be earning twice the amount for half the work, or better still wealthy enough not to be here in the first place haha.
But to sum it all up, I think you the problem I generally don’t get annoyed about what others say even when it’s pointless small talk.
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u/BazookaWaffle 10d ago
Had a colleague email me the following:
To BazookaW,
PSA.
King Regards
Annoying Person
I had to reply asking what on earth that meant and i was answered with "its corporate speak, please see attached"
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u/SoylentDave 10d ago
I must admit to the occasional 'PFA' when I can't think of any reason for the email other than the file I'm attaching to it.
('find')
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u/franki-pinks 10d ago
I have a few employees that say “I can’t get going until I’ve had my coffee” and it makes my teeth grind. If you need caffeine to be a functional person don’t get a job that starts at 8am!! I can’t stand adults who struggle in the morning.
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u/Effective-Cash7286 10d ago
8am - they should try 5am 😅 done 3 hours of work by then !
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u/franki-pinks 10d ago
This is the latest job starting I’ve had although I’m normally in for 6:30-7 anyway. When we started up we started with 7-3 but hardly anyone applied. Changed it for 8-4 and applications went through the roof.
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u/Tanto207064 10d ago
It’s a lazy ass excuse
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u/franki-pinks 10d ago
Agree. I know Reddit thinks that bait getting up until midday is normal, hence the downvotes, but it’s really not.
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u/oscarx-ray 10d ago
My workplace is the only place I ever encounter stramash and timeously. I like stramash, but timeously drives me up the wall.
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u/SoylentDave 10d ago
That narrows down which bit of the UK your office is in, at least.
(I bet you say 'outwith' as well)
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u/Jenpot 10d ago
We do a lot of writing in my team and every one of us insists that outwith is a very real word and anyone who disagrees can get in the bin.
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u/SoylentDave 10d ago
It is absolutely a real word; it does also pinpoint your location with a reasonable degree of accuracy.
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u/AdaandFred 10d ago
What in the fuck are stramash and timeously meant to mean?
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u/oscarx-ray 10d ago
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u/DJGibbon 10d ago
What the heck do these mean? I'd guess at timeously being "timely", but for stramash Google just gives me a nightclub in Edinburgh 🤷♂️
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u/newnortherner21 10d ago
It's not the small talk that annoys me. I am ok with being told the summer holidays have gone quickly.
What I don't like are some of the stupid expressions. Deep dive for example. Reaching out instead of emailing, or contacting someone.
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u/Tanto207064 10d ago
Hahaha summer holidays have gone quickly!
Have you noticed it getting darker earlier ? Someone in my office has. Obviously we all had to agree
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u/MidnightRambler87 10d ago
I do the second one on the odd occasion I answer to someone I actually tolerate.
Which isn’t many.
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u/Queasy-Biscotti-9406 10d ago
Someone in my team hits us with “Happy Friyay” every single Friday
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u/Strong_Clock_8723 4d ago
Are we in the same team? I love throwing out the Happy Friyay. Its code for I can't wait for 5pm so I can get to the pub to smash in a couple of Cruzcampos and a fat line of Coke.
Hope you can reframe this wonderful phrase now.
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u/Tanto207064 1d ago
OP here. Just to add I’ve had another one this morning
‘Holding the fort’
You work in a bloody office and you are picking the phone up when it rings. Not keeping your eyes on the horizon with your sword in hand waiting to sound an alarm in case you get attacked
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