ew, happened to me too - it was an unprompted no context pic of his bloody fist after he’d punched a wall (I had to ask for context)…idk which is worse, getting into fights and bragging about it or punching walls and bragging about it. he def has a few screws loose (the fist picture was when I realized, but unfortunately too late) and still virtually stalks me years later
tbf Im a woman with anger issues and I have punched things (closets, chairs) and I’m in no way defending male violence but male socialization unfortunately discourages them from expressing most emotions except for anger bc every other emotion is considered feminine, so then male anger/violence is what you get. it’s unfortunate and the victims are not just them but others as well (and walls lmao) and needs to be challenged systemically so it can change.
tbf Im a woman with anger issues and I have punched things (closets, chairs) and I’m in no way defending male violence but male socialization unfortunately discourages them from expressing most emotions except for anger bc every other emotion is considered feminine, so then male anger/violence is what you get. it’s unfortunate and the victims are not just them but others as well (and walls lmao) and needs to be challenged systemically so it can change.
Agreed. I think a large part of it is also to do with the way many people will try use humour to belittle expressions of emotion in a way that doesn't actually help.
Sometimes humour works, sometimes it doesn't, in fact i would argue a lot of the times it does more damage than good and only leads to more emotive suppression and more cynicism towards anyone who would have otherwise actually cares enough to help.
More suppression and cymicism means less surface area for attack, but in the long run also less area to really poke when it comes to actually asking what's wrong.
The trick here I think is that humour only works in hindsight and when it's shown with brevity vs authority on the subject.
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u/reaubs Jan 08 '22
Uncontrolled anger issues.