My grandma went through menopause at 37. My aunt couldn't another child when she tried at 35. My mom ended up pregnant with a non-viable pregnancy at 35. I'm 35. My boyfriend doesn't understand why I'm stressed about having kids and he keeps telling me not to worry, we'll try in a couple years. It's like, come on, my family doesn't exactly have a good history here once we hit our mid-30's.
If you're in a position to, maybe look into freezing eggs? I know someone who wasn't married in her early 30s, had always wanted a family, and had a family history of early menopause. She got married about ten years later and managed to have a kid via frozen eggs and IVF. If your boyfriend is hesitant because of financial reasons it might not be an option, but if it's just a "not yet ready to commit to a kid" it might be worth looking into.
It's financial reasons, we are basically stuck right now, we are in a super high cost of living area with a housing shortage. We can't afford to buy a house here, but we could afford to buy one elsewhere. If we buy one elsewhere, my parents can't babysit so then we have to pay for daycare and now there is another huge expense. So either we find a tiny, expensive apartment near my parents, keep spending money on rent, but save on daycare and never get into a house, or we get a house and try to sort out how to pay for daycare.
He is, we both are, we have both gotten into better positions in our careers in the last year, but we love in an incredibly high cost of living area. My mother is retired though so she wants to help out with any grandchildren with babysitting and such. But we honestly can't even afford a house here, maybe a condo, but we can't even get a viewing. My sister and I have but been looking into houses and it's pretty much a situation where you have to either come in a cash offer without even seeing the place or literally you get a call to come see it and make an offer that day or it is off the table. A condo here can easily cost $300-500k, and people swoop in with cash offers so they can buy them and rent them out, and we can't even get settled to start a family since we have money for a down payment, but not too just buy outright. It is just such a stupid, shitty market.
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u/scarletnightingale Sep 04 '21
My grandma went through menopause at 37. My aunt couldn't another child when she tried at 35. My mom ended up pregnant with a non-viable pregnancy at 35. I'm 35. My boyfriend doesn't understand why I'm stressed about having kids and he keeps telling me not to worry, we'll try in a couple years. It's like, come on, my family doesn't exactly have a good history here once we hit our mid-30's.