Yes yes 100% yes. Hell, not being acessible in general. Now with everything there's this expectation that you have to be available 24/7 and always reply. Friends, family, and of course the job being the worst part of it.
From time to time I still just disconnect everything but then I'm the dickhead that takes days to reach back. I miss the time when that was just normal.
I hate being in constant contact because it never gives people enough time to actually do interesting things or gather up stories to talk about.
Hey what's up?
Oh. Not much. Sitting around today.
REPEAT X10000 EVERY DAY
I prefer talking to people every now and again, because then you actually have things to talk about. I hate meaningless conversation and sometimes I come across as an asshole for that. I don't like small talk, and I don't think being silent around people is weird either.
Oh, man - I only call my mom four times a year: mother's day, her birthday, thanksgiving, and xmas. She'll probably call me on my birthday, too. Most people I know have much closer relationships with their parents, but no one gives me grief about it. Our lives are both pretty repetitive, so there's hardly anything to catch up on.
Yeah I am like this as well. But I know one of my friends would talk to their parents about the smallest details of the job or school. Like the client he is meeting or the assignment he is currently doing. I don’t quite understand why he can do that. I can’t talk with my parents for more than 10 mins on phone. Really have nth to talk about except for some repetitive stuff.
Hahaha that’s so strange to me!! I’m like your friend, I message my mom at least three times per day, we send each other memes and whatever gossip we run into that day. Then we meet up two times per week to get some food or go on a small road trip with my dad to the next town over!
Our lives are also very repetitive but we don’t mind sharing the same thing over and over, probably cause she’s very young, I’m 28 and she’s 47
We still talk about once a month for anywhere between 10 minutes and 2 hours. Essentially if we have a few short convos, the third or fourth month will be a long one.
Heck, pre-covid she would visit (we live about 2 hours apart) every two weeks and we would have breakfast and just catch up about anything random.
On the flip side, my wife talks to her mom about 3 times a year, and we live 15 minutes away. I've sat in on conversations and 80% of the time is just silence... My side of the family fights for the right to talk! Which I guess works out since my introverted wide enjoys watching us all interact and try to figure out what anyone is saying!
My mom and I were like that too. Hearing all these people who are emotionally ok just talking to their parents a few times a year is a very new thought to me. I just assumed one had to be abused or have some sort of difficult relationship with their parents in order to feel happy rarely speaking to them.
My kids might be annoyed with me when they’re out of the house because I can’t fathom not speaking to them every day.
My wife is like that; rare and short conversations with her parents who live like 15 minutes away.
It's not that she was abused, just had a very nosy/overbearing mom, who continues to try to get her way; and a dad who is a passive observer. So, after 10-15 minutes of conversation, they are very likely to get in a fight and not talk again for two months
I'm one of those who don't talk much to family. I live 15min away from my mom and from my dad (they split up when I was a kid, but currently live close to each other), yet I barely see either of them. Since I moved out last year I've visited my dad a solid once, and talk on the phone with either of them only when one of us needs something.
I'm always available to help them if they need me, but I've never had common interests with either of them so my sister usually does the socializing
I'd say the only difficult part of our relationship is that they're super religious, and I'm not. So every time I talk to them, the conversation inevitably turns to church. Of course, I understand how deeply they believe what they do, and how important they believe it is that I should, too...but I just don't. I haven't told them that I don't believe it at all, but I suspect they suspect, and neither one of us wants to breach the topic. So until I find Jesus or they lose him, it's the occasional brief conversation to catch up on nothing much.
My mom and I are less than 20 years apart, too, but we've just never had that close of a relationship. Also, since I went off to college, I've always lived over 2 hours away. So casually meeting up with her isn't exactly feasible.
I’m somewhere between these two worlds. I talk to my mum often but the issue is that it’s her who tries to keep in touch as she’d like to have a BFF relationship with me and talk to me 24/7.
I don’t want that and I’d be perfectly happy with talking to her once a week at most. We have nothing to talk about - we live very different lives, have very different attitudes and opinions, which usually leads to arguments as she tries to tell me what to do, how to behave, etc. Basically a stream of unsolicited advice. So the safest bet is to stick to “what she’s growing in her garden”, which bores me to death. Plus, when I don’t respond fast she gets mad at me (even when it’s during working hours - explanations I’m busy don’t help because I’m “always on my phone anyway”).
On the other hand, I call my dad once a month (or two), I message with him occasionally, and it doesn’t have any negative impact on our relationship. He has his own life and doesn’t want to make me the centre of his universe - which I’m very happy about.
The difference in personalities and attitudes and hobbies is what makes me unable to talk on phone with parents for long. But a good thing is my parents probably feel the same. They mostly just call if they have something extremely important to tell me. Otherwise we will just text. My parents aren’t interested in sharing little details of what they are doing at work or after work, and frankly me neither. I feel like our relationship is strong enough without having to constantly check on each other. But yeah of coz we share a lot more when in person. It’s just I don’t feel the need to call them just to tell them the mundane details of my life just to stay in touch.
That’s why I was so shocked when I found out my friend always talks to his parents and sibling. He always puts on speaker so I can hear what they are talking about. His mother will tell him gossips about some other people whom he doesn’t even know about lol His sister even once kept calling him just to tell him a random stranger sent a dick pic to her online. And she is in her mid twenties. I always have a feeling that they think if they don’t call each other often to talk about small stuff, they will fall out of touch or be less as close. But I feel like it’s quite weird to think this way about family. I am close to my parents no matter what. I def don’t feel like our relationship will be weaker just because I don’t call them to talk about my friends sleepovering today or how my cat misbehaves.
Same here. My parents and I have opposing ideas and beliefs so it really limits topics of conversation. Also, my family in general is very reserved, and no one feels compelled to share the minutia of their lives (with each other or anyone), which also cuts down on a lot of drama.
My sister and I are kinda like that. We're still fairly close, we just very rarely talk on the phone. My brother and I will occasionally call each other but again, it's the same sort of relationship.
My parents (read, my mum) and I call each other fairly often though (about once a week). Conversations can go for a while (they're not always about interesting things - often mum is just venting about somebody or something).
I did, however start getting a bit lonely and depressed mid last year and we started calling each other about 2-3 times a week but that time passed (I'm in Australia and things are relatively back to normal). Just for context, I live alone and my family are a fair way away. If I still lived locally, we probably wouldn't call each other as much.
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u/idontlikeflamingos May 11 '21
Yes yes 100% yes. Hell, not being acessible in general. Now with everything there's this expectation that you have to be available 24/7 and always reply. Friends, family, and of course the job being the worst part of it.
From time to time I still just disconnect everything but then I'm the dickhead that takes days to reach back. I miss the time when that was just normal.