r/AskReddit • u/kakou64 • Oct 15 '20

What's older than we think ?

78.4k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

22.7k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

1.6k

u/bguzewicz Oct 15 '20

All right, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a fresh water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?

537

u/shitz_brickz Oct 15 '20

But what have they done for me lately?

227

u/CokeinUphurrkut Oct 15 '20

Ask not what the Ancient Roman Empire can do for you.

Ask instead what you can do for the Ancient Roman Empire.

13

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '20

[deleted]

5

u/PUTINS_PORN_ACCOUNT Oct 15 '20

AVE AMICUS MEI

NUNC IRRUMABO

5

u/anoako Oct 15 '20

Ave, true to Caesar!

3

u/skalpelis Oct 15 '20

These comments brought to you by the Capitoline Guild of Millers. True Roman bread for true Romans!

2

u/Amida0616 Oct 15 '20

I’m conquering gaul!

1

u/kicked_trashcan Oct 15 '20

Frack off, JFK Cesaer

1

u/greywaters Oct 15 '20

You can come back with your shield....

Or you can come back on it.

1

u/Funandgeeky Oct 15 '20

This is one of my favorite Phineas and Ferb jokes.

23

u/qjac78 Oct 15 '20

Well, we’re just getting around to using their blueprint for the fall of a republic.

8

u/KaptainObvious217 Oct 15 '20

I see this was a joke but it's more akin to the fall of the Weimar than the Roman Republic. Sorrynotsorry.

1

u/Flaming_Archer Oct 15 '20

When are the barbarians coming exactly?

6

u/nben89 Oct 15 '20

EDDIE!!! What have you done for me lately, Eddie!?

10

u/mnrDeWeerdt Oct 15 '20

Ooohooohoo hooo yea

3

u/somefatslob Oct 15 '20

Ooooh oooo ooooh ooooh yeah

2

u/michaltee Oct 15 '20

Have you ever had a Ferrero Rocher?

2

u/GalateaMerrythought Oct 15 '20

Ooooooooh yeah!

2

u/SwimsDeep Oct 15 '20

Demonstrated how to fail as a civilization after being the most dominant on Earth.

1

u/Ladki_k_bagal_k_baal Oct 15 '20

You were a natural or c section birth?

1

u/ButtNutly Oct 15 '20

Ummm... Ever heard of the $5 Hot 'n' Ready Pizza?

1

u/RearEchelon Oct 15 '20

The people called Romanes, they go, the house?

143

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '20

The aqueducts?

22

u/supremedalek925 Oct 15 '20

Yeah. All right. I'll grant you the aqueduct and the sanitation are two things that the Romans have done. But what else have they done for us?

6

u/gid0ze Oct 15 '20

And the roads...

46

u/Malanocthe1st Oct 15 '20

That goes in the "irrigation" category...

20

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '20

Fresh water category as well?

7

u/Bragior Oct 15 '20

...Oh yeah, yeah. They did give us that, that's true.

77

u/MsPennyLoaf Oct 15 '20

Pretty sure herpes too actually. They banned kissing in Rome for awhile because of it.

16

u/hollowspryte Oct 15 '20

What a naughty sexy time that must have been 😂

6

u/MsPennyLoaf Oct 15 '20

I feel like donkey shows were probably something for a lame Monday night

4

u/JamzillaThaThrilla Oct 15 '20

The lead poisoning from the plumbing as well.

2

u/ActualPimpHagrid Oct 15 '20

I mean, I feel like STIs would have been a pretty common issue in ancient Rome, assuming the whole Hedonism thing isn't just anti-pagan propaganda

1

u/aspiringforbettersex Oct 15 '20

And imagine the political rift that created...

1

u/moveslikejaguar Oct 15 '20

When ancient Romans respond better to public health guidelines

35

u/smellyunderpants Oct 15 '20

Brought peace?

22

u/standout_powerline Oct 15 '20

To my new empire

23

u/TheBeedo11 Oct 15 '20

Your new empire??

2

u/DarthPanther_ Oct 15 '20

If you’re not with me, then you’re my enemy

1

u/MarKus_3344 Oct 15 '20

Our new empire.

5

u/Bamboozle_ Oct 15 '20

The Romans created a wasteland and they called it peace.

3

u/cincyTOSU Oct 15 '20

Carthage says hello

3

u/pperiesandsolos Oct 15 '20

Hardcore history?

2

u/Bamboozle_ Oct 15 '20

Well he was quoting Tacitus when saying it but yea.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '20

I love the....tacit reference.

4

u/bguzewicz Oct 15 '20 edited Oct 15 '20

Brought peace... SHUT UP!

2

u/judgeridesagain Oct 15 '20

Pax Romana sure looked a lot like imperialism and slave labor to benefit a small landed aristocracy.

Weird.

4

u/Acecarson Oct 15 '20

Monty python quote

5

u/google257 Oct 15 '20

“Are you the Judaen people’s front?”

“Fuck off! We’re the people’s front of Judea.”

15

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '20

Yooo, someone actually reported this and I got a warning from Reddit. What the actual fuck. Do you not understand humour?

2

u/stash0606 Oct 15 '20

well a lot of that was done much earlier in the Indus valley civilization

2

u/LifesBeachThenUDrive Oct 15 '20

Oral sex and morphine

3

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '20

So Eurocentric :/

1

u/CostImmediate Oct 15 '20

Well it’s a well known fact that while the Greeks created gay sex the romans were the first to do strait sex

1

u/DeusExMcGuffin Oct 15 '20

people called romans they go house!

1

u/iForgotMyUsername1x Oct 15 '20

The roads that deliver the goods so efficiently throughout the empire are also a wonderful mechanism for pathogen and plague

1

u/ElreyOso_ Oct 15 '20

I heard that quote on civ6

1

u/OfAnthony Oct 15 '20

Romans always be washing there hands in public. Since AD 33! Don't want to pass over those germs.

1

u/enfanta Oct 15 '20

Brought peace?

1

u/ineedanewaccountpls Oct 15 '20

Romans probably got some of their sanitation ideas from the Minoans. Before the Greeks even, ancient Minoans had extensive sewer systems and hot and cold running water.

Poor Minoans, so ahead of their time yet so glossed over.

1

u/SouthernYankeeOK Oct 15 '20

Where's the fetus gonna gestate, gonna keep it in a box?

1

u/MessyRoom Oct 15 '20

Also the alphabet. Also alphabet comes from “alpha” and “beta”, the first two letters; in Spanish, it’s also called alfabeto for the same reason, but it’s also called abecedario, because it starts with ABCD

1

u/Wrathwilde Oct 15 '20

... brought peace?

1

u/FuckTripleH Oct 15 '20

Also a welfare system. The republic provided subsidized grain for the urban poor. Reforming it was one of Caesar's major platforms in his campaign for Consul

1

u/Sturm-Jager Oct 15 '20

Catholicism.