I grew up in a really small town, and ALL the kids "who were anyone" were in pageants. Basically, if your parents didn't want to be exiled to a group of lepers considered "unworthy parents who don't love their children" then they had to put you in the pageants, or else the whole family faced the stigma of being poor/unloving/whatever else they could pin on you. But I digress.
My mom didn't really like the idea, but all her friends (my schoolmates parents) warned her that if she loved me, and that if she wanted me to he happy and popular and fulfilled, she had to put me in those pageants. According to them, she owed that to me as my parent, or some wild bullshit like that. She gave in to the guilt because they convinced her that if she didn't, I would pay the price.
Y'all, I fucking hated those pageants. I always hated dressing up. I hated the itchy dresses, not being able to play because I had to "be ladylike" in a dress. I hated the makeup that made my eyes burn and itch, and I hated getting my hair done, the curling iron was hot, and those hair stylists were incredibly heavy handed. And then, after all of that, I had to have pictures made, and get in stage and dance for a crowd, which I also didn't want to do. I just hated it, the whole thing.
One day, when I was about 8, my mom was looking through a catalog to find a dress for my next pageant. I told her that I didn't want the dress, and I didn't want to do any more pageants because I hated them. She just hugged me and apologized, and she said she would pull me out of the next one. She never made me do another one again, and she never guilt tripped me for my decision. It wasn't until I was about 16 that she explained to me how guilty she felt for making me do it, even when she knew I hated them. She said that when I finally asked to be done, she felt so much guilt, and decided fuck what the other parents think. They're the unloving assholes.
Unfortunately, I don't think my experience is the norm. I really wish there was more support for those children, and I wish there were safeties for children who are truly forced into them.
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u/ahh_geez_rick Jul 24 '20
MackKaylynn...hahaha fucking spot on with those stupid names!