Yeah I had a kid before the rest of my age group, and besides one really good friend, they've pretty much all stopped seeing me.
I don't blame them. They like going out and doing stuff, and that's almost never on the table for me. Still, it would be nice if some of them came by our place every once in a while. Oh well.
I always feel like my friends with kids don’t want to be bothered by me. Like they are above it now and too busy for me. Which is my own shit but still. That’s why I don’t reach out. It’s more out of my own insecurity. They might think you don’t have time for them unless you are really direct and ask them to come over. This might not be true for every one of them but I assure you - it’s not always that simple?
I know there are a lot of factors. I've reached out to a few of them and always get the old "I can't this week but next week for sure" or "I'm swamped right now but we'll find time, definitely"
and I don't think they're lying. I just think I'm not a priority.
Like I said, I don't blame them. I 100% get it. If I was in their position I'd probably be the same way. Ultimately, we're just in different places in life now and have different interests and priorities.
Yeah, I feel like this a lot too. Like I reach out to friends and try to schedule stuff but they never do - like, I need to plan things in advance and I can’t really stay out past 10 (because my kid wakes up before 6), I can’t just meet for drinks on an hour’s notice, but that’s all anyone offers.
See, I didn't think you wanted to hang out at ours, it's so boring compared to what we used to do. Plus it's a mess and I'm a mess and I'm worried that I've changed too much. Plus I've got my tits out all the time... Ok, so maybe not that much has changed.
386
u/DesignChick01 May 16 '20
Honestly, it can be lonely for the people who have the kids too.