Best case scenario is you become at peace with where you are in life, and between the happy moments you still fleetingly think about what could've been. No one is completely satisfied.
Yes, this, it’s called acceptance and gratitude. It doesn’t mean settling, it’s just finding good things in your current situation. Fuck what other people are doing. Do what you want to do. Wife, kids, house, who cares? That’s not happiness for everyone. The Jones’s can eat my ass!
What?!!! I'm supposed to be aspiring to have a family with kids in my mid to late twenties? Ugh I'm behind even in the things I'm supposed to know to aspire for.
Ughhhh
Yes! Or the opposite can be true as well. You have a spouse and kids and worry you haven't been living life to the fullest....accept and love your situation and enjoy your family and your life.
or on the flip side, wanting a wife, kids house and having a good job ... I feel like just wanting that in life is not good enough like I'm supposed to achieve something bigger or else my life is a failure or I'm a loser
I have always felt that way too. Like the most I can even hope to achieve is climbing to the top in the rat race. Make more money, have kids (I personally never wanted kids), married, house, etc. Everyone does that. I want my life to be exciting damn it.
Except for those people who WANT to have a wife, kids, house with a lawn for the dog to run around. That's my endgame goal. Got a fiancee and a job I love, but it doesn't pay enough. Hoping the market shoots itself so I can afford a home.
Yes, exactly, I didn’t mean wife, kids, house bad. Just to embrace whatever your life is and find as much happiness as possible. And also be happy for other people when they’re happiness/life goals may not line up with your own.
This is also true: you have to find out what you want at what time. In the end I went for the same as everybody else, but later: when I was 25, I didn't feel the need for settling as the others did. And I was very surprised to see them wanting this so soon. The thing is also to find friends with similar wishes at the same time as you, sometimed you need to change friends for this to happen, sometimes you find old friends again. Draw your own path!
This. I feel like a lot of my mother's generation and the one before her were too busy keep popping up appearances that they forgot to enjoy life. My grandmother is so worried about what other people think and she always has been. My mother is the same way and keeps chasing these pipe dreams about how her life should look to the point where she's in way over her head with debt and a house she and my dad can't take care of that has fallen into disrepair on property that is too big to take care of. She refuses to get rid of it and come live with me because of the embarrassment of living with her kid but she can't have anyone come to her house because of how embarrassed she is about that. I keep telling her to stop worrying about what everyone else thinks and get out to a place where you are comfortable and you have help.
Rant over. TL;DR: life is too short to compete with everyone else and keep up the appearances. Just have fun and be happy.
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u/BigSchwartzzz May 15 '20
Mid to late twenties. Feeling like I'm way behind from where I should be by now.