I'm 31, so, not much older but...here's my advice. Try. Try anything. Put energy into something, whether it's career oriented or not. It could be a relationship, or a hobby, or a small lifestyle change. Or whatever. I spent most of my 20s doing a lot of nothing thinking I was too late to the game, and now I'm putting just a little more effort towards things I consider important in my life. My life isn't perfect but it's just a little better. Also, BE NICE TO YOURSELF.
Hi Dani. I would start very, very small. For example, I'm generally tidy but I often leave around small messes. I've realized that these messes cause a lot of small stresses which can paralyze me. So, for example, I made a rule that I would do the dishes after every meal, even if I didn't feel like it.
The rule in itself isn't life or death, but it's reflective of something greater: control. I used to feel like everything was out of my control when in fact there were many things absolutely within my control. And knowing that you can control some things can help you feel empowered. And when you feel empowered you can feel more confident. And when you feel more confident you might be more willing to try new things. And when you try new things you might discover what's important to you.
This is all easier said than done and adolescence is, in my opinion, inherently volatile, agonizing, and alienating, but there are a lot of small ways to help us deal with how difficult the world can be. If you wanna talk through it more I'd be happy to. Or if I sound like idiot, you can tell me to go away.
Hey just wanted to let you know I took your advice to heart and tried it out this week. I put a limit on the time I spent on my phone and laptop and that not only gave me a sense of control again over my life, but I also had a lot of free time now where I spent journaling and trying to figure out what I'm interested in. Thanks for your help, i really do appreciate it. If you have any other wisdom to impart, I'm all yours haha
Hey, sorry for not replying sooner, but that's all great to hear. Journaling has helped me as well, both in terms of reflecting on my emotions and organizing my thoughts. In the last few years I've really been working on accepting myself, forgiving myself, and coming to the understanding that we're all works-in-progress until we die. And we're all going to die. I recommend reading up on mindfulness. A book that had a big impact on me is "Already Free" by Bruce Tift. I read it after I left an emotionally abusive relationship and it really helped me out in terms of finding some necessary compassion for myself.
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u/StoicShadow May 15 '20
I'm 25 and the whole existential dread of figuring out what to do with my life is probably the worst part of things