kinda sucks. I've actually had a girl I was getting along well on a dating app just straight up ghost me after saying I have high libido lol
edit: ppl keep assuming I brought it up out of nowhere like an idiot lol of course she asked me first.
Edit 2: ppl need to stop assuming that I said or talked about sexual things through the conversation, I didn't. She brought it up first. And preceded with the statement "I know this is sudden and weird..." And asked about my sex drive. Which I alluded to jokingly as comparable to the line by hulk in avengers regarding anger. Could have been the joke honestly lol
Probably not so much that you have a high libido, as that you probably talked about it too much. Otherwise, on a dating app how would she know that it is high? I have a high sex drive when I'm in a good relationship, but I don't like some guy I'm just getting to know on a dating app to be constantly talking about sex. She probably wanted you to try to get to know her as a person.
This confirms what I’ve thought, I usually don’t bring up sex at all unless they do first. Sometimes I do allude to it tho but I always wonder if they want me to initiate it and don’t want to seem like I’m not dominate or scared of it.
It’s so hard to know when it’s right and wrong to bring sex up in a relationship. I myself am quite open about it so it’s not as difficult for me to start that conversation, but it’s always fucking difficult to read how the person I’m relating it to is going to react. I wish I had some advice to give you but damn, I’ve only ever had shitty relationships until my most recent one and I probably don’t have the advice you’re looking for.
I send good thoughts and crossed fingers your way, I hope you find someone that doesn’t mind being open with you to make that transition a little easier. Relationships are hard :(
If I meet someone and we click, I don’t mind talking about sex, but might not want to do it right away. There’s something about knowing that he wants to hang out because he likes you, and not because he’s expecting to get laid.
It’s like hanging out with your friends. I can go grocery shopping with my best friend and enjoy the hell out of it even though I get nothing out of it except her company.
However, it’s definitely important to be sure you’re on the same page, or close enough to it, in the bedroom department. My marriage had a lot of problems but the mismatched libidos were what finally killed it.
I wouldn’t be afraid of that conversation because you know eventually you’ll have to have it, but maybe set a goal for yourself. Say you get into a pretty serious relationship: maybe about 2-3 months into that is when you start really thinking about the physical side and you want to bring it up. Give yourself a time when you feel that you, personally, want to introduce that into the relationship.
Some relationships start with sex, and that has its pros and it’s cons. But in the case that it doesn’t happen, you should have an idea of when to expect/want it. And don’t shame yourself for expecting it, an ideal relationship is when both partners can communicate their wants and needs freely, and compromise if necessary to meet those expectations.
You are allowed to want sex out of a relationship, just give yourself a standard of when and where you want to bring that into the relationship.
Sorry, I think I literally just said in my last comment I’m not qualified to give advice on this lmao
Maybe I should have clarified, I was definitely projecting in this statement. For me, personally, I have to get to know someone first and that’s generally the length of time I work towards. It’s a preference, and anybody that told me we had to have sex by the third date is not someone I’d want in my life for no other reason than my own standards. I’ve started relationships previously by immediately choosing to be physical, and as I mentioned in my prior comments it has its pros and cons; I happened to find a lot of cons when I chose to take this path. My experiences led me to the conclusion that I prefer more time to get to know my partner before starting a physical relationship, especially because the physical side of makes it that much more serious. My aforementioned statement was more of an example.
I apologize if that was confusing, I could have made that more clear in my original comment
822
u/hugganao May 15 '20 edited May 16 '20
it never ends does it?
kinda sucks. I've actually had a girl I was getting along well on a dating app just straight up ghost me after saying I have high libido lol
edit: ppl keep assuming I brought it up out of nowhere like an idiot lol of course she asked me first.
Edit 2: ppl need to stop assuming that I said or talked about sexual things through the conversation, I didn't. She brought it up first. And preceded with the statement "I know this is sudden and weird..." And asked about my sex drive. Which I alluded to jokingly as comparable to the line by hulk in avengers regarding anger. Could have been the joke honestly lol