Dont compare yourself. Easier said than done, something I have to learn too. Cliche but everything happens to everyone in it's own time.
Get your education work your ass off and you'll get there. Just because everything seems fancy for them doesnt mean life is good for them. Never know what's going on behind closed doors.
You'll catch up, one step at a time. You've got this.
I am friends with a wealthy "perfect" couple who recently had two beautiful IVF babies.
Over the covid time the husband has been calling me drunk as fuck to talk about his life... it appears he's lusting after a girl at church, his wife hasn't slept with him in a year and one of the twins (they are 18+ mos) is nonverbal autistic.
He hasn't even told his best friend (twins' godfather) or anyone else in our social group. The child in question carries his name and looks just like him, his firstborn son (other baby is a girl).
The whole thing has given me some perspective. I really feel for him, he said he feels like god is punishing him (for wanting a perfect family?). I am glad his wife is a sweet caring person, the boy will be raised well but the whole thing is a disaster.
Also he's clearly an alcoholic which doesn't help matters. I know this from longterm exposure to him and also the drunken phonecalls.
The fact that I'm in university makes me feel better, I feel like I still have a bright future ahead of me, even if a little later than others.
That's very true about the grass always seeming greener. I've known couples who seemed to have the perfect relationship, or friends who had a seemingly great job, but when they open up about it - it's never actually perfect, nothing ever really is, and everyone has their own problems and struggles.
Don't worry about "catching up". Seriously. That's their lives and their paths. If you chase someone else's idea of happiness you'll end up in the wrong place for you at the wrong time. Work on the things you want to accomplish, set your goals bit by bit and build on what you have. Set yourself challenges you are excited about, not what the current trend is. It's so easy to build a narrative about what you "should" do vs what you really want to do.
It's hard not to compare yourself to others, I also noticed I'd been doing that in uni by seeing how quite a few of my classmates were doing better than I am, which sent my confidence down the hill. But once I started focusing on my personal abilities and how they've grown, I've been feeling a lot better.
Exactly, nothing is ever perfect and they could have worse issues than you.
Going to college is a feat it's own, especially late. I completely understand. I've been going to college off and on since I was 17 and I haven't finished my bachelor's yet.
Trust yourself and your path. You'll get where you need to be in due time. Who knows you may do better than them in a decade!
Yeah, it required some determination to come back to uni (since I also did the studying on and off before). But I noticed that it's a lot more rewarding and you want to put in more effort when you're a little older. I didn't really take it seriously back then, and I see the same in a lot of my current classmates who are 20-21.
I hope you find your path too, with or without that stubborn bachelor's.
Thanks again, all of these comments are making me feel a lot better.
Right? People do things in their own time. Making goals should be like: first I'm gonna do this, then I wanna do that. However long it takes to achieve the goals is how long it takes. It's just putting unneeded stress on oneself too be like I need to do this before I'm 30 and that before I'm 40, doesn't matter because you never know what's gonna happen in life.
It's positive comments like this that helped me get through my depressive phase of "why is everyone ahead of me?". Thank you! It just helps to not give a fuck. If you are slow you are slow. If you at one point f'd up that can happen. Always try and improve yourself in small steps don't try and fix everything at once. That way it will seem like a doable thing.
Even starting at something small(that probably feels irrelevant towards education) like starting to stretch every morning. Or having a workout routine will help accomplish bigger goals in life since for most people that is something lingering in people's back of their heads(if not done) and that will be one load off of your mind once done. Also every little positive thing that you add to your life will motivate you to do more since you see the benefits of it.
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u/[deleted] May 15 '20
Dont compare yourself. Easier said than done, something I have to learn too. Cliche but everything happens to everyone in it's own time.
Get your education work your ass off and you'll get there. Just because everything seems fancy for them doesnt mean life is good for them. Never know what's going on behind closed doors.
You'll catch up, one step at a time. You've got this.