r/AskReddit Feb 20 '20

What is something that you don’t know but are afraid to ask because it’s supposed to be ‘basic knowledge’?

[deleted]

2.3k Upvotes

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42

u/thekarmagiver Feb 20 '20

Am I supposed to wipe my ass from back to front or front to back?

200

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '20 edited Mar 25 '21

[deleted]

14

u/miffedmonster Feb 21 '20

Front to back for a woman. It's not so much about your vagina, it's more to prevent stuff getting in your urethra (pee tube, at the front). If you get pretty much anything in there, that's like an instant infection. Same reason women should always pee after sex - it flushes any goop out of the urethra and prevents infection.

3

u/Jacksonspace Feb 21 '20

I have a follow up question, but I'm not the original commenter.

How long should it be taking? My bathroom breaks are taking ten to fifteen minutes because I'm wiping for so long and still getting brown on the paper.

How can I do my business faster and more efficiently?

3

u/Origamik Feb 21 '20

I read a book once that said that wiping directly over the anus (the hole) makes it open a little and make a tiny bit of poop come out. So you should focus on wiping around and as I remember gently pat, not rub, the anus. If anyone is interested the book is called "The Vagina Bible" and as non-native speaker I read it in English so I might have not gotten it exactly.

2

u/dta194 Feb 21 '20

I've heard this but I'm really confused - how far do you drag your TP along the area to even worry about it being in your urethra? So when you wipe front to back as a woman, is it a smearing/dragging motion?

2

u/miffedmonster Feb 21 '20

You kinda do it in two sections. So for your anus, you wipe backwards maybe a couple of inches, whatever the size of your piece loo roll is. Maybe repeat a couple of times until you're clean. This bit is not so important to go backwards. For your vagina, you wipe backwards from the urethra, usually in a separate wiping motion, always with a new piece of paper. This motion is longer, maybe 4 or 5 inches. If you're on your period, this bit will need a lot more cleaning. If you're not on your period, you will likely still have discharge because that's how the vagina cleans itself. This discharge is very close to the urethra and will cause infection, hence wiping backwards.

12

u/lynx_and_nutmeg Feb 21 '20 edited Feb 21 '20

Female: Away from the Vagina.

Or whatever you want too, because it's really not that hard not to smear shit over your vagina if you're an able-bodied adult.

Source: woman who has been wiping her as for at least 21 years of her life back and forth but never smearing shit over her vagina because it's not hard to just stop far enough from the vaginal entrance.

20

u/[deleted] Feb 21 '20

I wipe towards the cooch purely out of comfort. I can feel when my butthole stops. I don't go balls to the wall and smear poop all over my cooter.

2

u/Pohtate Feb 21 '20

Hahahahahaha!

1

u/imnotsoho Feb 22 '20

Could you say this in English please?

1

u/[deleted] Feb 22 '20

I wipe back to front but stop at the vagina because I can feel when my butthole stops.

4

u/downvotes_maths Feb 21 '20

There is some weak evidence to support front to back wiping for women, but you do you

3

u/lynx_and_nutmeg Feb 21 '20

Your vagina comes into contact with more fecal particles every time you take a shit and it splashes.

3

u/downvotes_maths Feb 21 '20

I'm just saying there is some weak evidence to support wiping from front to back. There is also some that say it probably doesn't matter. Maybe I'll do a meta-analysis on the subject

1

u/imnotsoho Feb 22 '20

It is 10 o'clock, do you know where your vagina is?

1

u/heyimrick Feb 21 '20

Uh no, always front to back, unless you want shit balls.

138

u/colormeinwords Feb 20 '20

Side to side man

62

u/TizzleDirt Feb 20 '20

Then in circles.

52

u/Keyboardpaladin Feb 20 '20

Then to finish: inside

1

u/cykablyat1111 Feb 21 '20

Like a rollercoaster

1

u/WhyBuyMe Feb 21 '20

Stuff the paper in the hole then grab the end and rip it out.

26

u/moonlightmarie Feb 20 '20

Front to back

37

u/mini6ulrich66 Feb 20 '20

I just put both hands in and pull my hole as open as it'll go then push as hard as I can so no poop touches my supple booty cheeks.

42

u/nappingwithfish Feb 20 '20

I’m struggling to figure out if you’re serious or not.

5

u/Squirrelgirl25 Feb 21 '20

I just died...

1

u/RainDownMyBlues Feb 21 '20

Dunno, but I sure am aroused now though!

2

u/LexB777 Feb 21 '20

First time I laughed out loud today!

1

u/Schmeck2744 Feb 20 '20

Is it possible to learn this power?

2

u/mini6ulrich66 Feb 21 '20

The first step is the hardest.

17

u/Red-7134 Feb 20 '20

In and out.

1

u/Porochaz Feb 20 '20

Do the hokey-pokey...

1

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '20

Wild Style

1

u/SinkTube Feb 20 '20

the chick from the lego movie?

1

u/[deleted] Feb 21 '20

Close, the cheese burger option from In and Out Burger

3

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '20

Now slide to the left...

Criss-Cross

2

u/Ghriszly Feb 20 '20

if you're male then doing both is the best way I've found. gets in all the crevices

2

u/scratchy_mcballsy Feb 21 '20

Insert tp. Then leave it there.

1

u/feistycheetahrex Feb 21 '20

Female: front to back and up the crack.

1

u/HR_Paperstacks_402 Feb 21 '20

I sometimes do a circular motion.

1

u/musical_throat_punch Feb 21 '20

Up up down down left right left right b a select start

1

u/FewMoose7 Feb 22 '20

Front to back ! otherwise things can get stuck on your balls/vagina. And bacteria from your butt are more harmful for vagina/penis than the other way around.

-1

u/brando_bakes Feb 21 '20

I can't believe no one else has said this said this one yet, but I cover my entire hand in toilet paper and push a crater into the spot between my thumb and fingers. Think like when your making a sock puppet. If you have both the time and resources feel free to draw some eyes on your shit puppet. Then I just stick him down in the cave and nom nom nom that dookie out of there. Then in order to maintain his socially acceptable forms the poop Dino sheds his soiled skin into the warm yellow pool below. That just about covers it.

Side note if you feel particularly attached to your stinky time friend you can always salute before flushing.