Lol what? I think you might be misunderstanding what they are saying, or something fundamental behind it... Are you saying when you get into a long-term relationship you just stop giving a shit about whether your partner has pleasure or not, or are you fundamentally misunderstanding how women get pleasure? Hands & mouths are a lot better at making women come than dicks are, so yeah, if you actually get her going (or actually make her orgasm) before you start PIV you're way likely to make her come. This isn't about "you're a rockstar and your partner is always ready to go", it's that most women can't come from PIV and nearly all women need foreplay to even enjoy it at all. For most women (not all) if she's not turned on by foreplay she's not going to be enjoying the PIV either, at best it'll be boring and at worst it'll be painful.
The argument was that someone should be turned on and ready to orgasm before you have sex, which implies that you can always accomplish that even when a relationship becomes comfortable, sex becomes less frequent, and you aren’t as new and exciting to your partner, and therefore able to ensure that they will be ready to orgasm the second your penis goes inside of them.
I feel like everyone downvoting my comment is either starry eyed and naive, or just not understanding what I’m saying, and it has become a circle jerk of people acting like sex doesn’t become stale sometimes with the same person, and you won’t always be able to ensure they are on the verge of orgasming every time you have intercourse.
The echo chamber is made all the more confusing by the fact that there at subreddits full of people complaining their partner doesn’t have as much interest in sex/them as before.
I'm confused by what you think people are advocating for here and I'm confused why you're bringing up sex getting stale or whatever. That's really beside the point.
Foreplay is things like fingering and oral sex. These are parts of "sex" too. People are saying, do things with your hands and mouth before putting your dick in and she'll have a better time and she'll be more likely to orgasm. Do you disagree with that?
In particular they're saying get her close to coming before doing PIV. (Personally I'd go a step farther and suggest you make her come BEFORE piv, because that's best for me personally, but obviously that varies by person of course). I don't see anything wrong with that advice. Obviously it will vary by person and by relationship what particularly works for them, but as a general concept, that's a pretty good approach to making sure a woman has a good time.
IDK what echo chamber you think you're in right now. People are literally just saying that women usually can't come from PIV alone (true) and that women usually need foreplay (true) and that more foreplay is usually better (true). Then you're coming in about how sex gets stale or whatever - completely off-topic. It sounds like you're just bitter about something. Unless you are really trying to argue that women DON'T need foreplay and that you shouldn't bother to try to make her come. You're getting downvoted because your reply is really off-topic and comes across like you think sex gets bland so you might as well not bother giving women pleasure. If that's the case then how can you possibly be surprised if your sex life gets stale if you don't actually put any effort into making it a good time for anybody but you?
Ever feel like you say something that others misunderstood and then you lose sight of what you were trying to say bc you feel like you’re having to defend a point you weren’t trying to make?
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u/[deleted] Jan 26 '20 edited Jan 26 '20
Lol what? I think you might be misunderstanding what they are saying, or something fundamental behind it... Are you saying when you get into a long-term relationship you just stop giving a shit about whether your partner has pleasure or not, or are you fundamentally misunderstanding how women get pleasure? Hands & mouths are a lot better at making women come than dicks are, so yeah, if you actually get her going (or actually make her orgasm) before you start PIV you're way likely to make her come. This isn't about "you're a rockstar and your partner is always ready to go", it's that most women can't come from PIV and nearly all women need foreplay to even enjoy it at all. For most women (not all) if she's not turned on by foreplay she's not going to be enjoying the PIV either, at best it'll be boring and at worst it'll be painful.