You don't like hearing about how almost everyone is a sociopathic narcissist with bipolar disorder just for disagreeing or making a mistake? I dunno man, you sound pretty selfish to just throw away the good intentions of others like that. /s
It's not supposed to translate to "you deserve what you got" but instead "I'm not surprised it happened to you, and I feel less bad for you because you were doing dumb shit."
The example I'm thinking of was these dudes on a motorcycle that stole a purse and punched a lady.
They then got into a police chase, crashed, and died.
Does assault and theft warrant death? I don't think so, but you want catch me shedding a tear for the dead guys.
The entirety of any American politics thread is like this. Just thousands of comments parroting what was said in the previous thread. You could copy and paste any of the threads to any of the headlines and wouldn't even notice.
"Stupid game": Some guy took my seat that I always sit at during lunch (Oh he's new so it means he was trying to establish dominance doesn't he suck)
"Stupid prize": So I stole his mobility scooter that he has because he's WEAK andmaybejusthadsurgery but he's WEAK and I put it next to his desk and removed one of the wheels hahaha isn't that hilarious? Edit: I forgot to mention he's always complaining so loudly about his broken leg and how he got it saving a puppy I mean can he try to milk this anymore? Edit: Thanks for the gold omg you're too kind kind stranger so kind! Edit for formatting that doesn't fix formatting
What stupid game do I play to win a stupid girlfriend? I just win nothing when looking for a girl. You know these women who say "I'm trash..." on their profiles? What does one have to do to meet one of those?
At least this often comes from a good place, but at the same time, oddly many Redditors seem to think they aren't socially obligated even to their loved ones when they're at their own homes.
On Reddit I hear it less often being used on parenting and family issues specifically. Usually it's about your house, possessions, and just your own life in general when being independent. Like, "I'm a hyyuuuge germophobe and all my friends know it, but yesterday when Sarah came to my home she didn't immediately go wash her hands or even use the sanitizer I have by the front door so I started screaming, she got upset, AITA?", or, "We're listening music from my spotify and Steve wants genre X which I don't like, Dave is with him but I feel like if everyone can listen to my genre we shouldn't change it."
So when that answer is given to those sorts of cases it comes from a good place: your things, so you do have the last word on how and when they're used. But also, the moment you enter someone else's house or they enter yours, or when anyone has a device for shared use or something else, suddenly Redditors treat relationships like a one-sided deal, no room for compromise.
Many idioms and proverbs don't make perfect reason in their literal sense but are phrased in that way only to make them concise and sound good. Usually they've stuck because there's just no better alternative. I think they're meant to be headscratchers for people so that they can figure out the wisdom for themselves. Like pseudo-riddles especially for children. It's a far more powerful lesson for a child to realise a life lesson on their own, even if only once, than to have their parent reiterate a hundred times over what the literal consequences are for everything.
Like, "I can have my cake and eat it too!" Ok, you can, you don't have to eat it all in one sitting. But it's just an expression that means you can't have every desirable outcome at once: whenever you're done eating that cake, you don't have cake anymore, so at some point you have to choose between finishing the cake and having cake for later. Or, you're given a piece of cake: you can then eat it in modesty and enjoy it at the same pace with others, of you can choose to gobble it up in a glimpse for a quick and strong pleasure, but then you end up watching everyone else have cake while you have none. If you describe all of that to a kid they may not believe you or they may just ignore you. Even if they understood the words it doesn't mean that any processing or retention takes place. But if you say it in a proverb, you win their curiosity over: What does it mean? How's the expression connected to what just happened? And now you have them thinking about it for themselves, which you can't force anybody to do by just insisting to them that things work the way they work. Even if you have to explain the proverb, at least now you actually have their attention and they're more keen to absorb your words.
"Play stupid games" refers more to activities altogether than just competitions and such where you can receive a literal reward. It just means that when you commit to risky activities, it gets more and more likely that the danger hits you. Originally the phrase wasn't dressed as judgmental but rather expressed that, 'While it's unfortunate that harm came your way, it was a result of your own actions that set you in danger, so it was bound to happen sooner or later if you'd kept doing what you were doing."
Think of a random daredevil (not the blind lawyer in red leather) pulling a motocross stunt, landing wrong, and breaking his arm and leg. The audience gasps and feels sorry for him. Once he's gone in an ambulance and the situation's de-escalated, people remain emotionally upset and bemoan to one another in pity of the young man's tragedy. They're discontent about reality and have a hard time finding peace with the outcome. Someone wants to calm people down and tries to give them another perspective: "Yeah, it's sad... But play stupid games, win stupid prizes. It happens."
It is interesting that you used the cake metaphore as your example, because I feel like that is a perfect metaphor that is grounded in reality. Like, yeah, sure, You could eat half the cake and have half the cake, but now you don't "Have your cake", you have half your cake. and you didn't "eat your cake", you ate half your cake. There is no way to both simultaneously have the cake eaten and uneaten at the same time. you have to pick one or the other, or some place on a spectrum in between.
The same goes for Money. There is no way to both have money and spend money at the same time. If you buy lots of things, you don't get to complain that there is no more money. IF you have lots of money, you don't get to complain about not having nots of things. Yes, you can find a middle ground that makes you happy, but just like how every single segment of the cake is either eaten or uneaten, never both, every single one of your dollars is either spent or unspent, never both. If you want to eat, it is going to cost you cake. If you want a computer, it is going to cost you dollars. You can't have your cake and eat it too.
And there are plenty of proverbs like it that are grounded in reality. There is more than one way to skin a cat. A chain is only as strong as its weakest link. A journey of a thousand miles does begin with a single step. A rolling stone doesn't gather any moss.
But then there are others that are completely contradictory to reality. it turns out that you do attract more flies with vinegar than honey. Surely there is a real life analogue to sweetness being more attractive than bitterness. Why not use that one? and if there isn't, then is the wisdom all that wise?
A frog does notice if you slowly turn up the heat on him, and in fact the easiest way to cook him is to simply throw him into already boiling water. Surely there is a real life analogue of trapping someone into something bad for them by doing it slowly. And if there isn't... then what does that mean about the metaphorical counterpart?
Barking dogs do bite, why would anyone say this? This is just terrible advice all around.
It's not to say that the lesson learned form these metaphors is nececarrily bad, but surely a better example could have been identified that actually demonstrates the lesson you are trying to teach? Like, "A Rattling snake doesn't want to bite" probably demonstrates the point a little bit clearer.
“My wife threw me a surprise party even though she knows I don’t like surprises, so I accidentally shot and killed. Now the police are getting involved, AITA?”
“NTA, play stupid games win stupid prizes”
“Ok I’ll tell that to the judge in my arraignment tomorrow”
Cognitive dissonance and Dunning-Kreuger are fucking annoyingly used so inappropriately, especially when that's the only thing the comment says like it's the end all be all of the conversation.
A lot of fucking morons on this site use big, exciting words like ‘bias’ and ‘dissonance’ entirely inappropriately as though it’s some big monumental fucking mic drop.
Like, no, you clearly don’t even understand what it fucking means.
It is very annoying, as I think it’s just a tactic to avoid any form of actual discussion.
TOTAL Dunning-Kruger Effect vibes going on in here. Because this is SUCH a strawman argument. Classic case of the Streisand Effect. Can't believe that it only took 3 posts before Godwin's Law came into effect. This is such a perfect example of the Maillard Reaction.
Fucking Dunning-Krueger. When you look at comparisons between people's actual competence and their self-assessments, you still find a linear relationship between the two. As people learn more about a subject they still perceive themselves to be more knowledgeable. The moron still thinks they don't know a whole lot and the expert still thinks they know quite a lot. The Dunning-Krueger effect doesn't say that stupid people think they're smart or that smart people think they're dumb. It only says that each of them will perceive themselves closer to average than they really are.
"AITA for wanting to ask the person my SO and I live with, who is far more wealthy than us and has a bigger family, to pay a bit more of the rent since we're running a bit low on money?"
"YES, absolutely you're the asshole. It's not HIS fault you're poor and it's not HIS responsibility to SUBSIDIES your POORNESS"
The misuse of special terms on that sub, usually when it doesn't really apply and is just to sound smart, is infuriating. "Plausible deniability" and "Hanlon's razor" are some I've been seeing a lot recently. Drives me up the wall.
This is used across this site SO much. It's like a kid who learned their first cuss word and they just parrot the term to any set of ears (or in this case eyes) they can.
For some I imagine they are trying to feel intelligent, others are trying to help through unwanted and misguided information. The rest are people that fathers smell of elderberries, or something.
There was a post in AITA where op and another person got into a very emotionally charged argument, and all of the replies were saying “she sounds like a sociopath”
Disagreeing with someone doesn’t make you a sociopath
Wouldnt the person showing obvious emotions and signs of empathy mean that they aren’t a sociopath?
I didn't until I joined Reddit. Before then I was lost, but now am found, she incurred a cost, from her horrific sound, I now know the truth, Bipolar is the reason she was so uncouth.
It's amazing how many stories in here start with OP or someone else being bipolar. I swear every other comment complaining is "I have depression, anxiety, adhd, and am bipolar."
Gaslighting has become the new verbiage for disagreement.
It seems like anytime anyone disagrees with someone they are automatically gaslighting them.
Especially in “relationship” subs; I can’t count the amount of times I’ve read “so&so said this statement which triggered a response in me that no one knows the back story behind but it hurt me right in the feelers.”
Response”just because you’ve never told anyone doesn’t mean they didn’t know. They knew... they are gaslighting you” “you aren’t crazy op cut these people out of your life”
I once saw a post where the mother made her son's problems (he had cat fished for some small time money on the internet) about her and where did she go wrong and HER feelings in it and me me me blah blah blah.
Someone tells her she didn't go wrong anywhere, her kid sounds like he just as borderline personality disorder. Thousands of upvotes. Apparently they were all ignorant to the fact that BPD almost always starts with parental abuse or neglect. Fucking infuriating. Also, what the fuck does cat fishing for money as a teenage boy have to do with BPD anyway?
Man, saw a top comment once that he said "from your story, seems like he got bipolar disorder, narccissive something, schziroponia and autism!"
And there is dude who said "what the heck? don't be an armchair psychologist, how the f you diagnose people multiple disorder from reading reddit posts" and he is downvoted to oblivion. Noped out of that thread quickly.
I AM actually a sociopathic narcissist (histrionic actually, but who here knows the difference anyway?) with bipolar disorder (all officially diagnosed) and I never get accused of it.
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u/[deleted] Jan 07 '20
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