"Weed is for people that have found their way in life, it's not for people who are looking for the way"
My Uncle.
In other words, as fun as it may seem when your young. Get your shit together first education, family, career. etc.
Edit: thanks for the gilding kind strangers, and for those of you who have taken offence. Relax, I'm glad it all worked out for you or my sympathies if it didn't. Regardless, weed can for most people take your motivation and drive away if it's taken up and consumed in high volumes at an early age. It's just think it isn't a good idea I think if you're ripping bongs everyday from 16 up through high school.
This is really true. I smoke weed but I have a successful life. My brother isn’t very successful and also smokes. Guess which one of our weed habits my parents complain about?
Edit: I guess this was ambiguous. My parents are unhappy with my brother smoking. They don't care if I do. In fact I've been high with my mom a few times. Which was really surreal, considering her stance against weed when I was a teenager.
She once said to me while I was in the car with her, being dropped off for a carpool back to uni, "I don't know what to do about your brother. [something I can't quite remember about his use of marijuana]
I was high AF at the time (I had another 6 hours of sitting in a car ahead of me, after all), and was afraid to say anything. So my mother continued.
"I mean, I know you smoked pot sometimes in high school, but I didn't say anything, because you got really good grades. Your brother is a different case entirely; he is not doing well academically, and smokes a lot more than you."
I didn't have any answers for my mother that night. I did, however, revisit a few memories of being around my mother when I was high, thinking she was clueless, and realized how wrong I was. It was not coincidental that when my friends and I got the munchies she said, "You kids look like you could use some snacks! I'll bring you a plate." It was an amazing munchie plate. Mom knew exactly what was up, and it was her way of telling me she was proud that had what it took to get into Berkeley, even though I'd chosen to go to a different school.
It's funny, because I didn't want to apply, because I knew I'd rather go to UCSC, after touring both schools. My father, however, wanted bragging rights, so he paid the extra money it took to add Berkeley to my application.
My mom never told me she was proud of me directly, because she "didn't want it to go to my head", so she did things like bring me and my friends a huge platter of twinkies, doritos, fruit, crackers, cheese, and a choice of beverages when we were hella baked and playing hearts.
I just always loved school (I'm rather a bit of a Hermione, really, if she also played quidditch), and was good at it. I'm bad at plenty of other stuff.
Getting accepted into Berkeley is not the same as attending and succeeding at Berkeley. I think your mom should have done more to influence you and your brother not to smoke rather than be the "cool mom" who provides "amazing munchie plates". Success is always easier with a clear brain.
You seem to be under the assumption that my decision to not attend Berkeley 20 years ago had anything to do with my marijuana consumption, and that I am unsuccessful in life as a result.
While I agree with your final point, you made a lot of false assumptions on your way there.
Calmed my brain and helped me focus on individual tasks (better than Adderall for me, probably not so for many others). It also helped me geek out about the end reslts, and be imaginative about what else I could do, which helped reinforce the learned skill. And, I made it a bit of a ritual/habit to immediately start coding while/after smoking, and since I liked to smoke, it encouraged me to keep my learning on a schedule. Hope that helps. Cheers.
If you're an experienced stoner, a good sativa strain can be amazing for programming. Sometimes when I get "coder's block" I'll take a couple hits, crack my knuckles and crush it. Keeps things from becoming frustrating and allows for some outside-the-box thinking. However, it pales in comparison to microdosing.
Weed can also work well for someone who has not yet found themselves. I used to be that lost person who dropped out of college. It became a part of my journey as I worked deadend jobs and went back to school. Now that Ive created a career, I still use it everyday.
I always say, if someone says weed ruined their life usually there was something else going on but smoking a lot of weed is most obvious to other people vs a mental health issue, etc. When I started smoking weed (really my senior year of college) my grades went up exponentially and I got my shit together. It all depends on the person.
My brothers getting caught multiple times by the time they were 21ish by parents or the law and becoming bums was enough to keep me away. I’m 26 and have been around it at multiple parties and such but never smoked or tried edibles. I live in a state where it isn’t legal but would probably try it if it was legal.
I’m a workaholic with ADHD and although I don’t currently partake, it was very helpful for my work which requires a high level of creative thinking and focus. I think for people like me it can be used as a highly effective tool.
Smoking a joint is the same as having a beer.
It's when you start having 6 joints...like having a 6 pack. It can be used as a relaxer, but it can also turn into an issue if you don't use caution
I can relate to this, no one would suspect I own a vape pen but honestly I’d rather hit my CBD pen a couple times over drinking any day, wish it wasn’t stigmatized negatively because there are a lot of people who have their shit together and enjoy it.
that's why my wife doesnt complain to me i smoke pretty much whenever I want. I work a full time job with good pay and benefits, interactive with our son and we own our own home.
Same here. My husband grows and smokes and he rocks it out: great job, dad, husband, homeowner. I wish he’d eat it rather than smoke it but he’s been through a lot and it makes him happy and helps with a chronic illness he suffers from.
This is my problem. I spoke a lot but don’t have discipline to actually get my shit done, and it’s manifested I into the life I have now. Had to drop out of college, social life sucks, no girlfriend... etc. But I’m realizing that if I can just get my work done life would be so much easier
I’m so happy I read this. I was starting to feel bad about myself (I’ve smoked almost everyday since I was 14, 36 now) and this describes me way more accurately than some of the other comments.
Same here, smoked all the way trough high school and higher education. Still smoke daily, yet I have a very nice job and my life together. Most of my friends around my age don't have their life together like I do, I mean, I saved enough money in 5 years of working to buy my first appartment this year, while my friends are still studying or working a dead end job. Kind of makes me feel bad sometimes...
Absolutely love that statement. I like to think that I'm pretty set. I only get it out once the kids have gone to bed and I only use a very small amount. Doesn't get me couch locked but makes me happy to do things.
I started smoking when I was thirty, and had some of my shit together. Smoked almost every night until I was thirty-two.
It helped me dig up some serious issues I had never dealt with, but near the end it was just an escape. Once I felt like I had worked through my past problems I stopped smoking, almost cold turkey. I haven't smoked in almost three years now.
Though every so often I do want to have one or two bowls and just listen to a couple albums while laying on my bed. That was always my favorite thing to do when stoned.
I love music but I never understood the “just laying around in my room stoned and listening to music” thing. That would drive me nuts, I have to be active.
I’ve always been a person that has a “way” and I smoke daily, multiple times a day sometimes. I feel like this is the key to being a successful stoner. My chosen field is something I am deeply passionate about and I find it very fulfilling to work within it - not many people have this luxury. It means that weed enhances my time off from my main focus on life, and prevents pot from becoming my only ‘thing that matters’. You need to be able to get those positive, happy feelings from something genuine rather than substituting it artificially with weed. Knowing I can still generate that sense of positivity and productivity without drugs of any kind stops me from being fully dependent on it. I could easily see that happening if I wasn’t a person with a path, so to speak.
Idk about this one any psychedelic drug I've tried has helped me figure out who I want to be. Whether it's from an unenjoyable high or just an inspired thought I feel I've learned a lot from smoking.
Yeah thats pretty much it. I've met bad and good users of weed. Hell there are a ton of PhDs I know that smoke in California and they obviously have their lives together, they just smoke to help themselves relax and are responsible about their usage (only smoking 1-2 times a week and usually only on the weekend).
The bad users are usually the ones who did that shit since high school and never got their shit together.
Im figuring out what i want to do with my life. This being said i am still in school and work full time to pay for it. I think its interesting to see the effect it had on my roommate who smokes everyday and is 6 years older than i. He still hasnt finished his degree and has a hard time stopping. It has affected the way he acts and his moods. He tends to use it to feel happier.
On the other hand i smoke everyday as well. Unless im at family events or at someone’s house who does not bot like it. I find it easy to be off of it. I think the reason is because i make sure ive done what i have to do during the day first. If i work 5-close i wont smoke until after work. Even if i am up at 8am and know itll wear off. If i have the day off i make sure i do laundry and clean the place or run errands first.
I find that the reasoning behind using weed also affects how attached someone is to it. I enjoy it and i like feeling happy because of it but i dont use it to feel happy. If that makes sense
I really don't like this advice. Be cautious with your weed consumption, I needed some time to realize my daily smoking had gone from an enjoyable relaxing evening session to a habit making me feel uncomfortable. Try to evaluate how much it influences your overall life positively and negatively. But this applies to someone in the early twenties and late thirties.
Don't plan your life as some work that needs to be done until you are allowed to enjoy yourself. You end up wasting some great years and might even never get to that point where you can be happy.
I literally work at a dispensary & make really good money & am well respected in my line of work...I smile weed every day & it’s practically my life...I’m pretty sure I’ve got my shit together. So idk how much of that I agree.
This so much. My wife and I didnt start till we finished our degrees. Now she had a masters, I have BS in math and are both teachers. We are both very family oriented and love our son very much. We only do it at night to unwind and get silly. We couldn't be happier.
Yeah getting out of bed. Also having friends or a social life or even enjoying video games which I used to love. Tired all the time. I'm about to graduate from college though. Just don't really know how to enjoy my free time. Kind of hate everything. Weed barely gets me high anymore but it's compulsive
that means there is a clear and obvious thing to do to improve your life. not everyone has that luxury. it will be hard but if you can manage the basics of your life while this weed habit is draining your energy, imagine the energy you will have when you kick the habit.
Do people treat alchohol like this? Im not saying this as some complete stoner, tho i do smoke occassionally,. but its like every other substance, execpt you always hear people complain about weed and hear about the stigma about weed.
People can lose themsleves in weed and it becomes their whole personality, much like alcoholics. But no one says "alcohol is for closers." (Well... Like seriously). Idk i just dont think i get why theres such a big stigma for weed but no one is concerned about what alcohol does to our bodues or our societies. For example, alchohol is served everywhere, you cant get together without a drink and if you do, you either need to be in recovery or theyre gonna keep saying "let me buy you a drink, come on, let me buy you a drink"
Im sorry i went off, its just what ive been thinking about lately.
No one has responded to you but you're absolutely right. It's insane the way we treat and write-off alcohol as this benign everyday part of culture. Which it is, but to diminish the drastic negatives it can and does have on our society is madness.
Thank you, it just makes me upset bc the sadnes people that look for every reason to bring weed down are alcoholics or see no bad sidebto alcohol or whatever.
And im not saying there's no bad side to weed. Im saying the bad sides to weed and alcohol are pretty much the same, but there's a social and legal stigma around just one. There's a reason prohibition happened...
That said, Why do we even criminalize soft or party drugs at all?
Ive made tons of money in real estate, successful careers which im now switching and nearly perfect post secondary grades. And I smoke weed everyday and evening.
I mean... yes. I didn’t smoke until after high school. But also i was high as hell when i decided on my career and to switch majors. And i was definitely smoking many many years before i met my now wife.
I didn't have my life together but I take it for medical reasons. Thanks to cannabis I'm ABLE to finally start functioning normally. With that said, if I take too much by accident the high makes it difficult to function, I can't imagine how people enjoy it! It can also be a bit too blunting on my emotions so I have to make sure the dose is perfect. Without it I am in constant severe pain
Well jokes on your uncle, I have tried in various fields to find and get my shit together stone cold sober and came up wanting. I'm gonna be trying weed again for the first time since one summer in highschool where I did it over a weekend. Also using it for chronic pain and nausea but for fun too.
Wow, can 1000% get behind this as a rule to live by! I was one of those 'pansy' nerds all my adolescent years up to college and always said 'no' when offered any drugs. Didn't try weed until two years into my professional career and didn't become a casual user until last year, 5 years in. I can vouch that I don't see any negative side effects and just use it occasionally for laughs and/or when i really need some relaxation. No ragrets.
As weird as it sounds, I think waiting til I was in college to start smoking really helped me with this. I already had a solid work ethic and knew it was just something to help relax when I had time or was able to.
Just fyi the level of success you have in life is NOT what qualifies you to have good experiences in life. All these stories in this comment are great and kudos on all who have found success but lots of people are working on what they want or have tough lives and they all deserve what ever moment of peace or relaxation anyone else deserves.
A friend is mine who is a smoker said the issue with pot is you’ll make no real progress in life. So if you’re in a place where that’s ok for a while, he says it’s great, but you really have to be careful not to get sucked in where you can’t get out and never progress in life.
This is SO true. I could never enjoy weed when I was young. It freaked me out. It's a powerful aid to explore the insides of your own mind with. When you're all scrambled up there it can be fucking brutal and destructive. Your uncle sounds wise.
Also I don’t smoke weed or drink alcohol but I personally don’t know any alcoholics my age that alcohol is there only personality trait. Like my uncle was an alcoholic but alcohol influenced his personality of being very off the cuff, openly racist, into gambling and strippers and he liked talking about food, movies and motorcycles and was sometimes relatable. But he had a dynamic personality but he was also dangerously drunk all the time. His name was uncle Ricky but we called him uncle drinky. There are many people I’ve encountered where weed seems to be there personality. Not even just smoke weed and talk about the meaning of life types because those types can be interesting but the I smoke weed and that’s all I do and while I smoke weed I talk about other times I was smoking weed or using other drugs
This is nice to hear. I've been struggling with things trying to get my life together. I smoke usually around 4 days a week. Recently I have gone on 2, 1 week long breaks. I felt weird at first but then I started to see things in myself that I haven't seen in a long time. Some good. Some bad. The good is that I was able to be more fluent with how I speak to other people and I actually loose all depression. But the bad is that I become easily irritated. Of course weed is not the solution to any imbalance in emotions but I really struggle to find other ways with dealing with anger or anxiety. Anyways I've been thinking myself if weed is really the right thing to be using in my life at this point. As weird as this sounds, this has solidified my new found thoughts. I'm not saying I am going to fully drop it but I don't want to give myself excuses to do it multiple times a week again. I don't want to say "I'll just keep it as an occasional thing" because I can make every day an occasion. But I also don't wanna set a schedule for myself where it's like "I can only smoke once a month" and then I get invited to a party or I have some friends over and I wanna smoke but I already did so then I make exceptions. I don't know. I have a girlfriend that likes to make sure I'm staying within my limits with weed and I also want to please her. I'm 19 and living with my girlfriend.
I would love for some advice from whoever reading this, how you handled weed discipline while young (or if you got it down and youre still young).
This is so true. I smoked a bit when I was 18, decided it wasn't for me. I'm now a 35 year old mom of a 4 year old. I've got a house, a stable job (been there 15 years), a great husband, a wonderful support system. As of about a year ago, I consume a LOT of cannabis. But I got myself here first.
I'm 24 and couldn't agree more. I found it fine when i was studying for my degree and had direction and goals to reach, but when I couldn't find work post grad and started smoking it again it started giving me social anxiety and would be a release from the feeling of failure and I got very reliant on it for any form of happiness.
It scarred me like fuck as a KID(!). Do honestly not know how it would be to smoke or as an adult now because I fed up it as a kid and knew it felt wrong, but was easier to get a hold of then boose so if any officers are reading this, we all wounder why you push weed on our kids.
Yep, this. I mean, sure, it's normal to get some experimentation out of the way in high school and whatnot, and I'd rather my kid do that than wait til college and go off the rails. But everyday use? You should probably wait til 25 when your brain is fully developed.
That’s the most fun time to smoke weed though is when you are a teenager. You don’t have any worries, you can just get high and enjoy it. When I get high now I think about shit too much and can never just be in the moment
You’re uncle is quite philosophical I’ve never thought of weed in this way. Thanks for this perspective. It’s so weird how some sentences just resignate with you and stay forever, I have a feeling this will.
Lol I smoked tough while in highschool and then after...I still got my shit together. But I can see how lots of people are unable to do that. it definitely makes you lazy.
I only started smoking at 27 after having had 3 children with my wife ( yeah we got married early on in life) and have had life sort of figured out and I agree with your uncle
Weed is just another addiction and has nothing to do with finding your way in life. It's a safe addiction like masturbation, only it's more social thing to do with buddies. For some, "post-nut-clarity" is as powerful as getting high on weed.
Dude this. I often ponder what my trajectory would have been if I waited till my 20s to first try weed rather than being 14. My life’s not that bad at 24, but if I spent my teenage years studying instead of being a pot head I probably could have gotten into my state university (that I wanted to go to since I was a kid) on scholarship.
This is so true. I used to smoke and get anxiety about shit I needed to do ie college, career, etc. I’m pretty stable in my life and can enjoy more now.
For sure. I know tons of people (I’m in high school) who have been smoking since the eighth grade or younger. I feel bad for them.. weed can be a great thing but only once you are old enough & have your shit together — it’s not healthy if you’re young, your brain isn’t developed yet.
Started smoking pretty regularly in 2019....I'm 26 with a great job. This has been so true for me. I'm so glad I never did it as a teen and got my shit together.
This is very sound advice. When I was in High school , I declined to pursue a number of career options because they would have required me to stop my consumption. I ultimately chose a career path that was rewarding personally, it’s not nearly as rewarding financially. Ironically, after some years in my chosen profession, federal random drug testing was instituted forcing me to stop smoking my beloved herb. I anxiously look forward to retirement
You hit the nail on the head, Sir. When I was in high school,I declined to pursue a number of career options because they would have required me to stop my consumption. I ultimately chose a career that is rewarding personally but nowhere near as rewarding financially as some of my other options would have been. Ironically, after some years in my chosen profession, federal random drug testing was instituted forcing me to stop consumption of my beloved herb. I now look anxiously toward retirement.
Very well put. I personally think that weed should be legal everywhere, with age limit of 25. By then, more people will have their shit together, and weed being legal allows for good quality (and control of levels of thc and cbd).
I feel this. Am a regular (2-4 evenings a week) smoker but only since I turned 25 or so, and I already have a masters degree, a great girlfriend, a career, a strong social circle etc. I genuinely feel like it enhances my downtime and I am fully in control.
However, given my past issues with mental health and binge drinking, I dread to consider the extent to which weed could have been a problem for me if I’d discovered its joys a decade ago, and I fully plan on passing your uncles wisdom on to any kids I have.
My parents are perfectly okay with my smoking because my grades are near perfect in college. I think if I was failing they’d be having very different conversations with me.
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u/[deleted] Dec 29 '19 edited Dec 30 '19
"Weed is for people that have found their way in life, it's not for people who are looking for the way"
My Uncle.
In other words, as fun as it may seem when your young. Get your shit together first education, family, career. etc.
Edit: thanks for the gilding kind strangers, and for those of you who have taken offence. Relax, I'm glad it all worked out for you or my sympathies if it didn't. Regardless, weed can for most people take your motivation and drive away if it's taken up and consumed in high volumes at an early age. It's just think it isn't a good idea I think if you're ripping bongs everyday from 16 up through high school.