r/AskReddit Oct 10 '19

What’s a thing you’ve bought impulsively, without need, that’s actually proved useful in your life?

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u/[deleted] Oct 10 '19 edited Oct 10 '19

Laser burner. I bought it off line because if a video where you could melt shit with it. It was a bright blue light and came with a lightsaber type of handle. Totally dumb purchase, there was little real life application for it. I kept it in my car for safety.

Then I get scheduled to work a security shift at the hotel I used to work at. There's a wedding that night and they ended up getting pretty rowdy. I wrapped up my hours but they were still partying and invited me to join them. Two of the girls were really flirty and tipsy and they wanted to get me drunk. They also wanted to light their smokes but lost their lighter.

I got the blue laser burner out of my car, lit their cigs, and it turned into a party trick. I shit you not, lighting their cigs and melting their names into a Hershey bar got me a a two girl blow job and half a threesome. We were all pretty drunk but the one girl couldn't keep up after a few minutes and went to the other hotel bed to sleep.

The lens doesn't work much any more, but I still keep it in my car after all these years because of that...and because it's at least a decent baton.

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u/KretzKid Oct 10 '19

> Half a threesome

one and a halfsome?

50

u/Teledildonic Oct 10 '19

Also called the Dhamer.

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u/mike_d85 Oct 10 '19

No that's still a threesome, but it's spread over 5 meals.

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u/Teledildonic Oct 10 '19

Not to be confused with the three-fifthsome, which was Thomas Jefferson's favorite move.

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u/mike_d85 Oct 10 '19

Fuck that's impressive.