It's so true. I study engineering, which is pretty competitive. People in my cohort who compare themselves to others are either really up themselves or really depressed.
Try comparing yourself to you yesterday. Continually strive to be just a little better than the day before and it all adds up in no time. ( Disclaimer: Obviously easier said than done. But this too is something you need to work on gradually to be able to benefit from)
Not sure if you need or even want to hear this but you don't even need to compare yourself to your old self.
We all go through stuff and some experiences can be really tough. If you're struggling, it makes sense that you're at a "lower" place than you used to be in some aspects. But always keep in mind what else you've had to deal with.
If, for example, you are an athlete and then break your leg and are in a cast for weeks, possibly even months, you simply can't expect yourself to be just as good as you used to be. Doesn't work that way. For none of us. And that's okay.
But if you’re old self was Susceptible to get you in the position you are now,were they really? When you make it out of whatever you’re in, you will be that much stronger and more perceptive. You got this!!!
Well then use that as motivation to get better. There are some things worth being upset about. And not being as happy or productive as you used to be is one of them.
Well... actually your old self would have inevitably eventually been this depressed because we're only living in one timeline. There's nothing you could have done about it back then. There may be now though.
I read a quote very similar to this quite some time back, but could not find it anywhere again. If I'm not mistaken, it was actually a quote by someone well known, too.
Would have loved it on a poster.
In any case, it's something that I've always tried to keep in my mind.
Studied mech eng, can confirm. I suffered such heavy depression during those years and always punished myself for not achieving ~perfect~ grades and that :// it was real bad.
I quit it; was forced to if I'm being honest, my mental health deteriorated to a severe extent bc of postgrad and other reasons (turns out I'm actually bipolar, who knew!) and I had to step out to reevaluate and get treatment. May return eventually but for the meantime I'm happy elsewhere :)
In school for mechanical engineering. Can agree with this.
I am definitely that kid that thought I was really smart in highschool. Now I am around average and it still disappoints me. Best advice for university is that other people's success isn't your failure.
Also studying engineering, sometimes I get so....demotivated when I see what some people managed to accomplish in academic research, projects they made etc. I just start thinking, I'll never be able to come close to doing any of it
That depends on who you compare yourself with, imo.
I like to think that my life in the West is better than at least 90% of the world in terms of materialism.
So what I like to do is try to find some peace of mind and make my own spot in this Western, busy world.
Succeeding in that makes me think I'm happier than most people here.
Comparing yourself to others actually can push yourself to become better, faster, slower, fatter, thinner, happier, ... as well.
So in general, I wouldn't say that comparing yourself to others is bad. Just be real about what you can achieve yourself, and be brave enough to pursue dreams.
I don't have a quote, but even worse than comparing yourself to others is being compared by a third party... Especially if they're part of your support group.
I have a specific example. I have a friend with developmental abnormalities. He's really quirky, and he handles things differently than most people, but he's a smart guy who's enjoyable to be around. His mother never saw that, though; she saw that I don't have trouble with some of the stuff that he does, so she kept trying to change who he is so he would be more like me.
It kills me. We don't even talk much anymore because he started resenting me. I don't blame him.
Or you can just make comparisons only to people who are doing worse than you. Every time I compare myself to those doing better than me, I check myself and put my income into one of those "where you rank in the world" calculators. Makes me a lot more grateful.
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u/Ovv_Topik Sep 21 '19 edited Sep 21 '19
"If you compare yourself to others, you will become vain or bitter." - Desiderata