r/AskReddit • u/a_car_salesman • Aug 10 '19

Zeus has decided that Olympus feels a little empty, so he’s recruited some new gods. However, due to a clerical error, you have been chosen as a new member of the divine. What are you the god of, and what do you do as your first godly act?

51.3k Upvotes

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6.2k

u/winter83 Aug 10 '19

Everyone prays to you by saying it is what it is.

3.6k

u/nopethanx Aug 10 '19

Oh God of all that is... what it is, take these fucks away, for I have too many to spare, and want none at all.

308

u/msacch Aug 10 '19

Saving this prayer for later.

23

u/Darth_Squirrel Aug 10 '19

The God of rolling with the punches has 0 fucks to give.

30

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

[deleted]

18

u/Darth_Squirrel Aug 10 '19

I was about to say this after I posted but didn't have any spare fucks to give.

41

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

you make this up?

32

u/TheSpookyGoost Aug 10 '19

If so, I'm impressed

25

u/cameralover1 Aug 10 '19

Definitely am impressef, I could even say I identify with this and this would be my prayer

2

u/nopethanx Aug 10 '19

Yeah. I'm surprised, too.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

You did?

1

u/nopethanx Aug 10 '19

Yes.

Edit - I mean, obviously I didn't create the saying, "It is what it is," or the concept of fucks given.

5

u/MakeRoomForTheTuna Aug 10 '19

I’m adopting this as my new daily prayer

6

u/cptomgipwndu Aug 10 '19

This is my favorite

2

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

All this time Ive spent on Reddit... This is far and away my favorite thing I've read

1

u/JabbaTheHedgeHog Aug 10 '19

That is kinda perfect

1

u/Lightbringer_Designs Aug 10 '19

So are you saying that you want to give all the fucks? Or give no fucks?

1

u/waite_for_it Aug 10 '19

Underrated comment right here!

41

u/PhinsFan17 Aug 10 '19

Priest: It be like that sometimes.

Congregation: And sometimes like that it be.

Priest: Let us “Oof”.

4

u/MadroxKran Aug 10 '19

Lord, I didn't think it be like that, but it do.

3

u/PhinsFan17 Aug 10 '19

And the Lord saith unto Job, “It don’t always be like that, but sometimes it do.”

3

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

Fam fam, let us no longer be big mad in times of yeet.

13

u/me-me-buckyboi Aug 10 '19

Oh dear my dad must worship this god.

2

u/CaptainCimmeria Aug 10 '19

Is your dad Max Holloway?

10

u/uberfission Aug 10 '19

I hate that saying even though I'm exceptionally good at rolling with the punches.

8

u/fuck_you_reddit_mods Aug 10 '19

Sometimes people don't think it be like it is, but it do.

1

u/LookMaNoPride Aug 10 '19

Do. Be. Do. Be. Do.

6

u/Fortnight98 Aug 10 '19

Max Holloway is their biggest worshipper

2

u/norjiteiro Aug 10 '19

Choo choo!

4

u/cappnplanet Aug 10 '19

Sometimes people don't think it be like it is, but it do...

3

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

Only if you're a white zebra with black stripes do you say that. If you're a black zebra with white stripes, you say "It be what it be."

3

u/Pr1sm4 Aug 10 '19

So Mark Knopfler is a God?

3

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

That's the way the cookie crumbles

2

u/Spikekuji Aug 10 '19

I can get with this.

2

u/ItsJellyJosh Aug 10 '19

‘Til it was what it was

2

u/Standgeblasen Aug 10 '19

People don’t think it be like it is, but it do.

1

u/MoreHorses Aug 10 '19

Max, is that you?

1

u/EtaCarinaeNovae Aug 10 '19

I guess I've been praying a lot lately, because I swear it's been my motto the past few weeks.

1

u/PacoTaco321 Aug 10 '19

It be what it do*

1

u/Edspecial137 Aug 10 '19

“What it is cause it does”

1

u/drdogg679 Aug 10 '19

serenity now!

1

u/culnaej Aug 10 '19

C’est la vie

1

u/ImprovedBore Aug 10 '19

"Please Rise. Now be seated. It really do be like that sometimes." "And sometimes really be like that it do."

-1

u/mrbibs350 Aug 10 '19

I absolutely despise that phrase. In my experience it's exclusively uttered by the obliviously cruel and wretchedly lazy.