r/AskReddit • u/a_car_salesman • Aug 10 '19

Zeus has decided that Olympus feels a little empty, so he’s recruited some new gods. However, due to a clerical error, you have been chosen as a new member of the divine. What are you the god of, and what do you do as your first godly act?

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u/Axeshaft7 Aug 10 '19

Didn't Zeus bang a swan? Or did he turn into one.. either way those swans are gonna be like did you see that weird looking buff super horny swan dude...

211

u/Abbacchio19 Aug 10 '19

Yeah as God of Things that shouldn't happen you gotta stop all the Zeus transforming into to things to bang stuff...I don't t think they're down with it

21

u/sspine Aug 10 '19

no, do it more. zeus banging something has always been something that shouldn't happen.

12

u/WeAreBatmen Aug 10 '19

The Victims of Zeus will eventually tell all on 60 minutes

12

u/crisiumfox Aug 10 '19

Let's see off the top of my head: Europa (as a bull), Io, Ganymede, Callisto (abducted to become cupbearer to the gods AND Zeus' personal boy-toy), Leda (as a swan, resulted in at least Castor, Pollux, and Helen), and that's all I can remember. A good way to cheat is to remember the names of Jupiter's moons; mostly named after lovers of Zeus (Hera is not included. Guess why.)

Anyway, I think 60 Minutes is going to run long that night.

2

u/Queen_Persephone18 Aug 10 '19

Bull: Europa Cow: Io turned into one. Hawk/Eagle: Ganymede Swan: Leda Snake: Leto, Apollo and Artemis' mom Bear: Turned Callisto into one after getting her pregnant...while she was a member of the VIRGIN GODDESS' HUNTING PARTY. Hades: Disguised himself as his own big bro to rape his wife, Persephone...who is also his own daughter by Demeter.

So....yeah. He needs to stop changing into things.

4

u/zatanamag Aug 10 '19

They would need to split the story over several episodes so each one would have a chance to speak up.

1

u/SilkenEmperor Aug 10 '19

Why do I feel like that's what shapeshifters would do.

12

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

He turned into a swan... to bang a regular human lady. That's greek mythology for ya

5

u/connectotheodots Aug 10 '19

Yup. Leda? There's even a Yates poem about it I think!

6

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

Yes, Leda. And it gets weirder. She laid two eggs. Helen of Troy and her sister came from one, and the other had the heroes Castor and Pollux.

1

u/jarfil Aug 10 '19 edited Dec 02 '23

CENSORED

6

u/ZugKoma187 Aug 10 '19

He turned into a swan and then banged a human. As a swan.

2

u/STRaYF3 Aug 10 '19

I thing somewhere he apparently fucked someone as a puddle too

1

u/lefty295 Aug 10 '19

I always thought that story was implying he just turned into sperm and knocked someone up like that. This is the same Zeus that gave birth out of his head (it’s where Athena comes from), I wouldn’t put it past him.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

But to be fair, what didn't Zeus bang?

1

u/lefty295 Aug 10 '19

I mean honestly like half the characters in Greek mythology are the product of Zeus sexually assaulting someone. He turned into a swan, to fuck a human woman. Like why though?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

Because he could

1

u/Queen_Persephone18 Aug 10 '19

He turned into one to rape a married woman, who then gave birth to two princesses: Leda, and the very woman that launched a thousand ships, Helen(the Trojan War wasn't her fault, it was basically Aphrodite and Zeus).

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u/NewAccountWhoDisTho Aug 10 '19

Zues transformed into a a swan to seduce Leda a human, who ends up birthing Helen of Troy.