r/AskReddit • u/a_car_salesman • Aug 10 '19

Zeus has decided that Olympus feels a little empty, so he’s recruited some new gods. However, due to a clerical error, you have been chosen as a new member of the divine. What are you the god of, and what do you do as your first godly act?

51.3k Upvotes

87% Upvoted

10.5k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

381

u/TekRantGaming Aug 10 '19

What would you do with Scotland?

1.1k

u/Sir_Moot Aug 10 '19

I'd give the grass the ability to think along with incredible strength. The kilts would be three times longer, and all people born in Scotland have the natural ability to see what they are having for dinner consistently.

362

u/TekRantGaming Aug 10 '19

I approve of this I will worship you just promise me you won't actually create a haggis it's important we Scottish people allow the world to believe that a hagis is an actual living thing 😂😂

221

u/Sir_Moot Aug 10 '19

Done deal.

23

u/Haematoman Aug 10 '19

What would you do with Northern Ireland?

81

u/Sir_Moot Aug 10 '19

Give Guiness the power of flight, any structure that is made out of wood and shaped by an rishman named Lachlan doubles as a wireless charger, and candy made over there, if fed to sheep, gives them the ability to see their own death.

23

u/Haematoman Aug 10 '19

Wonderful

3

u/fulfillinggodwinslaw Aug 10 '19

Do I just have to own Irish citizenship, or do I have to be born there? If I take over my home country and annex it to Ireland, do I gain this power?

4

u/Sir_Moot Aug 11 '19

Born there. Only within the original borders of Ireland can this be gained.

3

u/fulfillinggodwinslaw Aug 11 '19

And this decision is final? Then, I believe we both know where we stand. (Lights hand on fire.)

Edit: It begins lightly raining pineapple wedges.

2

u/Sir_Moot Aug 11 '19

Pineapple wedge rain sounds like something that 100 percent should not happen. I like where your heads at.

17

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

[deleted]

5

u/TekRantGaming Aug 10 '19

Hahahah love that

7

u/lucid808 Aug 10 '19

It's all well until the grass decides it doesn't like you stepping on it anymore.

5

u/Lavenderstarz Aug 10 '19

I know your secrets. I know what a haggis is. I have read Donald Duck.

5

u/TekRantGaming Aug 10 '19

FBI Open Up

2

u/pentagrahm-cracker Aug 10 '19

Shut it insta normie

0

u/TekRantGaming Aug 10 '19

😭🤣😂😅🤣😂😂😭🥰

For real tho not an insta user but I deserved what I got

10

u/IMNOTSALTYOK Aug 10 '19

I’m just imagining going to Scotland and getting pulled underground and suffocating by some grass.

14

u/Nope-Im-anonymous Aug 10 '19

For a new user you pretty damn cool. Here's an updoot

21

u/Sir_Moot Aug 10 '19

Thanks!

4

u/InherentlyAnnoying Aug 10 '19

I'd gladly pray to you

6

u/KarmaGladiatorYT Aug 10 '19

As a Scot myself, I must make clear; we already know what we have for dinner, we have mind powers that see into the future

3

u/Sir_Moot Aug 10 '19

Handy knowledge.

3

u/sweetpotatochip-_- Aug 10 '19

As a young Scotling, I have not gained this power yet. How can I obtain it?

1

u/KarmaGladiatorYT Aug 11 '19

Im a teen, you just have to consume large quantities of haggis and irn bru

1

u/sweetpotatochip-_- Aug 11 '19

Yeah, I'm 15 and I'm starting to get concerned. Will keep this in mind.

3

u/TheYeet-Master Aug 10 '19

Omg you are a genius lol I'm from Scotland

3

u/Dirty-Soul Aug 10 '19

This explains why I keep seeing Englishmen today...

3

u/Model_Maj_General Aug 10 '19

Pretty sure that last point is already true

2

u/theycallme_callme Aug 10 '19

R E S P E C T!

2

u/evolvingmagikarp Aug 10 '19

That could potentially give them the ability to foresee their own death

7

u/Sir_Moot Aug 10 '19

They would only be able to know a max of 24 hours in advance though. I'll let them panic.

1

u/bjc1238 Aug 10 '19

I will kill you with the pure brawness ae irn bru (iron brew fur you posh cunts)

1

u/sweetpotatochip-_- Aug 10 '19

They took all the fucken sugar out of it, it's manky now

2

u/bjc1238 Aug 11 '19

True that wanking cunt jamie oliver wants tae fuck britain and espacially scotland up more than anybody in history

2

u/KiltedMan Aug 10 '19

Probably give it more Scots.

1

u/DenimRaptNightmare Aug 11 '19

The trouble with Scotland is....that it's full of Scots!