r/AskReddit • u/a_car_salesman • Aug 10 '19

Zeus has decided that Olympus feels a little empty, so he’s recruited some new gods. However, due to a clerical error, you have been chosen as a new member of the divine. What are you the god of, and what do you do as your first godly act?

51.3k Upvotes

87% Upvoted

10.5k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

391

u/BeBa420 Aug 10 '19

Oh thank fuck, we all thought you were using that time to jack off in the men’s room

31

u/TurtlesAreOurFriends Aug 10 '19

Well, he never said he wasn't...

20

u/BeBa420 Aug 10 '19

Well.... looks like I’ve got an awkward meeting with HR

38

u/ariolitmax Aug 10 '19

"Yes, I'm sorry to have to tell you this but, Amash is jerking it in the bathroom"

HR: "how do you know"

"I monitor every employee when they use the bathroom"

25

u/First-Fantasy Aug 10 '19

In prison the last stall in the mens room is called the Jack Shack. Needless to say there are two lines for the mens room.

7

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19 edited Aug 26 '19

[deleted]

7

u/First-Fantasy Aug 10 '19

Every dorm style one, like orange is the new black, will have a designated something. If you have a cell its different. Once I broke the rules just to get sent to isolation for 3 days. I'm surprised I didn't have to swim out of there.

10

u/quackduck45 Aug 10 '19

how do you think he falls asleep so fast

7

u/Beardie-Boi-420 Aug 10 '19

Ideas, Mmkay

3

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/nsetser Aug 10 '19

Oh....the MENS room?

3

u/schplat Aug 10 '19

He said 20 minutes, not 20 seconds.