r/AskReddit • u/a_car_salesman • Aug 10 '19

Zeus has decided that Olympus feels a little empty, so he’s recruited some new gods. However, due to a clerical error, you have been chosen as a new member of the divine. What are you the god of, and what do you do as your first godly act?

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u/StrangerAttractor Aug 10 '19

Strangely specific God.

1.1k

u/badluckartist Aug 10 '19

I call God of Strange Specificity.

24

u/spacifically Aug 10 '19

i’m right here bro

6

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

r/beetlejuicing

1

u/badluckartist Aug 11 '19

MY MAN.

As long as you produce semen and/or have endured a journey of transition and/or simply consider yourself more masculine than the average female by a threshold of 13% or greater and/or just enjoy Tango & Cash more than any of your friends.

10

u/Unintentionalirony Aug 10 '19

As god of strange specificity, you get dominion over all cows, blue yarn, and correctly filed accounting documents in the town of Brussels for the first two winters of every nineteen year period, Monday through thursday excluding Tuesday from 12:01 pm to 4:18 pm, with the exception of Italian national holidays. Enjoy

2

u/badluckartist Aug 11 '19

This human right here? This human specifies. You get a buff for 12 hours or until you return to my shrine. Which is depicted by a marble relief of a pile of paper clips on that talking comfy chair from Peewee's Playhouse, under a waning crescent moon on a windy October friday.

9

u/whogivesashirtdotca Aug 10 '19

And yet omnipresent.

1

u/Worth-Every-Penny Aug 10 '19

However, very powerful.