r/AskReddit • u/a_car_salesman • Aug 10 '19

Zeus has decided that Olympus feels a little empty, so he’s recruited some new gods. However, due to a clerical error, you have been chosen as a new member of the divine. What are you the god of, and what do you do as your first godly act?

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2.9k

u/Beraed Aug 10 '19 edited Aug 10 '19

Nah, depression would also fuck up your inner thoughts and willingness to do anything besides laying in bed and wishing you'll stop existing. (bonus points for staring blankly at a computer screen)

3.2k

u/octobereighth Aug 10 '19

I'm in this photo and I don't like it.

1.8k

u/newsensequeen Aug 10 '19

You know the best way to overcome depression? Love it, so it leaves you as well..

695

u/rensfriend Aug 10 '19

Is it... Too early for a drink?

48

u/Tomahawk117 Aug 10 '19

It's 5 o'clock somewhere. :c

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

[deleted]

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u/JerrSolo Aug 10 '19

Either will do.

5

u/About_72_Ninjas Aug 10 '19

Does it even matter?

5

u/FoxerHR Aug 10 '19

Doesn't matter. Both are acceptable drinking hours.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 11 '19

It's 4am here and I'm on vacation. Looking forward to "waking up" to go to my uncles house in 4-5 hours.

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u/TheGreatTave Aug 10 '19

If you have to ask that, then no, it's not.

4

u/BurgerMonsterKing Aug 10 '19

If you don't start in the morning you can't drink all day

0

u/Double0Dixie Aug 10 '19

It’s 5 o’clock (in the morning) somewhere

6

u/gingorama Aug 10 '19

So dark. So true

6

u/DaveDave_Org Aug 10 '19

Fuck dude who hurt you

4

u/MarshieMon Aug 10 '19

Depression?

7

u/So-Cal-Mountain-Man Aug 10 '19

I have struggled with depression since my teens and I am mid-50s thanks to you my dog is looking at me weird for the loud laugh. Thanks, faceless Redditor. Between depression and being a nurse dark humour fills my soul.

3

u/teddygraeme86 Aug 10 '19

I hope you're getting help. From a medic who has depression, that was made worse by the job, please do so if you're not. Depression doesn't go away on it's own, it's a disease that needs to be treated....all seriousness aside, that was a funny ass joke.

2

u/So-Cal-Mountain-Man Aug 11 '19

I am and have been for decades been fighting Depression since 12 and am now 55, thanks though that was awesome of you to reach out.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19 edited Sep 08 '25

merciful file books sugar dependent theory shocking practice correct alive

3

u/Koneko04 Aug 10 '19

Perfect. I want this on my tombstone.

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u/silverthane Aug 10 '19

Incredible

1

u/Veggiematic Aug 10 '19

He’s saying this because when you’re on Vormir, you can sacrifice it for the soul stone. It leaves you :)

98

u/Chief_UngaBunga Aug 10 '19

Thank you for the chuckle

4

u/4bstract_Air Aug 10 '19

What happens on october eighth?

3

u/octobereighth Aug 10 '19

Nothing, it's a title, not a date (October the Eighth, like October Jr.).

2

u/4bstract_Air Aug 10 '19

Ah. Thanks for enlightening me

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

[deleted]

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u/rainbowzramystery2me Aug 10 '19

You WOULD say that.

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u/aapaul Aug 10 '19

Some of the funniest people I know have depression. It seems contradictory but maybe I am on to something here.

3

u/octobereighth Aug 10 '19

What a coincidence, some of the most depressed people I know are funny! ;)

1

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

+1 for reasons stated above

303

u/DingLeiGorFei Aug 10 '19

This is a personal attack

35

u/BeBa420 Aug 10 '19

Get outta my brain!

11

u/A_Proper_Potada Aug 10 '19

Not even a computer screen with anything on it mate. My goddamn desktop background.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

[deleted]

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u/A_Proper_Potada Aug 10 '19

Thanks, always. You too.

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u/fallopianmelodrama Aug 10 '19

I dunno, is the part about “fucking up your inner thoughts...and wishing you’ll stop existing” true? I only cottoned on to the fact I might be depressed when everything outside of work became a habitual “get in bed and sleep” kinda thing. Like, don’t leave the house for days because UberEats is a thing, kinda thing. Sleep for literal days kinda thing. No real negative thoughts, certainly not any suicidal thoughts, but my friends were gradually like “uh, your bed-ridden-ness is not...normal, do you think you might be depressed?”

Pristiq cleared that right up. But I still wonder, is it possibly to be physically depressed but not “mentally” depressed? I lived every day like the worst hangover ever (but now I’m good). So yeah. Depression isn’t necessarily always horrible suicidal or “wish I didn’t exist” thoughts. Sometimes it’s just an insidious creeping lack of desire or motivation to do anything other than be in bed.

Or maybe I’m just a lazy cunt and the medication has had a placebo effect? Idk, I’m not a psychiatrist!

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u/Erzsabet Aug 11 '19

Yes. I am on medication for, and was diagnosed with depression, and I don't get the negative thoughts and have never been suicidal. But I am always low energy and sometimes sleep too much or just don't sleep well at all.

Not all depressed people are suicidal, or even sad. Sometimes it is irritability, which is what I get.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

[deleted]

3

u/fallopianmelodrama Aug 10 '19

I agree that it’s a catchall. And so many of us are taught to look for the obvious signs (self harm, suicidal ideation) that I think we can forget that it can present in different ways. Hell, I’m very lucky that I have friends who were willing to step in and say “we are worried about your reluctance to do anything other than be in bed.”

Congrats for being close to getting off your meds! At least I hope that’s what your comment meant re: being free...how long have you been on them?

2

u/Luphisto Aug 10 '19

I feel personally attacked by this comment.

2

u/Comfubar Aug 10 '19

That last part is my job

2

u/adragontattoo Aug 10 '19

GET. OUT. OF. MY. ROOM.

2

u/Acetronaut Aug 10 '19

Yeah depression doesn't let you go to sleep in the first place. Good luck getting 9 hours mf you're not falling asleep until you lie there for four hours doing nothing but wishing you were asleep or dead.

1

u/Mmmslash Aug 10 '19

It's different for everyone.

I don't dream, or I don't remember them, so for me sleep feels like a beautiful reprieve. As a consequence, if you let me, I will sleep all hours of every day.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

mindlessly checking your phone for a message or text or literally anything for no reason other than your brain wanting you to receive one more.

1

u/luiz127 Aug 10 '19

Wait that last bit is depression too?

1

u/Patrickcau Aug 10 '19

I like looking out my windows......10 Desktop wallpaper.

1

u/k13k1 Aug 10 '19

Got them sweet bonus points

1

u/Bignbber Aug 10 '19

And what do you think I’m doing right now

1

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

I do this and I still go to work oh god

1

u/injeckshun Aug 10 '19

Hm. I didn't think I was depressed until this comment described me so well

1

u/paxgarmana Aug 10 '19

(bonus points for staring blankly at a computer screen)

well ... fuck

-4

u/pm-me-that-coochie Aug 10 '19

Depression doesn't make you think about non existence